Muv Luv Alternative: Redemption
by Obrusnine
Summary: After saving the Alt. world from the BETA, Takeru was supposed to go back to his own. So how did he end up in a prison cell? In order to solve this mystery and finally return home to the woman he loves, he embarks on a mission to save two worlds from despair, and himself from the wounds of his traumatic past. This is a multi-episode replacement for Muv Luv Alternative's ending.
1. E11 - P1 - Façade

**MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

 _ **Author's Note: Hello everybody, before reading this story you'll need some foreknowledge, namely that I find that Muv Luv Alternative is an amazing visual novel with one of the most god awful endings I have ever seen. Not only is it an enormous cop-out, but in the end nothing is completely resolved, the story bends its own rules at the last minute just to ensure it can escape all of the consequences, and overall it's an insult to my intelligence that made the 50+ hours it takes to get to after reading through Extra, Unlimited, and Alternative feel utterly pointless. I honestly have no idea why one of the smartest stories I've ever read has such a poorly thought out and explained conclusion. So, I've returned to Fanfiction with a fervor to fix it, if not for anyone else at least for myself.**_

 _ **THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW**_

 _ **1\. This opening is something you've read before if you've completed Muv Luv Alternative (spoiler alert, by the way), with several adjustments and additions. The next chapter on will all be original material. You don't NEED to read the entire chapter, but I would recommend it as I made several subtle changes and a few outright ones.**_

 _ **2\. Only the visual novels are "canon" to this story, I will not be considering any supplementary material.**_

 _ **3\. This story picks up right after Takeru ejects from the XG-70d and falls unconscious.**_

 _ **I will try to follow any rules established by the story prior to this point, but Muv Luv is a pretty complex visual novel and I will end up making retcons in order to make my story function. But, as I want to make the story as authentic as possible, please point out any of these you see, as they might not have been intentionally.**_

 _ **Now, going into this, I've got a number of goals. But here are the most important ones.**_

 _ **1\. No cop-outs. No running away from the consequences of things by abusing time travel and quantum causality theory unless Takeru works to make that happen, and even then I need to be strict.**_

 _ **2\. Make an ACTUALLY happy conclusion. I mean, the Extraverse Takeru we meet at the end is not the Takeru we followed. He just has some latent memories, but just as with Yuuko those memories do not actually belong to him. He's essentially a completely different person who is the result of having his identity scrubbed away. I consider the Takeru Shirogane we followed throughout the story to as such be dead, and that's not very happy, now is it?**_

 _ **3\. Balance out the original story's overwhelming nihilism by wrapping around to a more positive message than the game left off with. The ideology of a lot of Alterverse characters doesn't sit well with me, and I thought that when it came down to it the game's ethos was ultimately unbalanced. Considering the VN's best moments were when it made a compelling argument for both sides of an idea, I found it depressing that by the time the story wrapped up, there was surprisingly little hope buried within the actual ideas the story communicated. Shirogane went through a lot of changes as a character, and there were far too many of these changes which were never really questioned by an opposing viewpoint and were ultimately forced on him by people who all thought the same way about certain things.**_

 _ **Without further adieu, let's get started!**_

* * *

 **EPISODE 11: SELF IMPRISONMENT**

 **PART I: Façade**

 _ **Third Draft**_

* * *

"….Shi…ga…..n."

A distant, yet familiar, voice calls out to me through the fog clouding my mind. I try to reach through the fog, slowly rising high enough to open my eyes. Everything is blurry. I can't see clearly. A familiar face? Maybe… I should just go back? I have a bad feeling about going forward.

"Shiro….ne…"

The voice is stronger now. Clearer. I'm pretty sure I know who it is, but that bad feeling persists. It's a premonition of the pain that awaits me on the other side of the fog. I don't want to climb out. I don't want to wake up and face the memory.

" _Please shoot, Takeru."_

That voice came from within my mind. It's that memory. The one I don't want to confront. I recoil from it instinctively, trying to again reach complete unconsciousness. Yet the other voice I'd been hearing up to now persists, calling for me to awaken.

"Shir…gane."

What am I thinking? Why am I running away from it? I'm not supposed to be doing that.

A conversation I had with Meiya a long time ago comes to mind. A memory that reaches me even through the fog.

" _Then… does that mean… I don't have any personal freedom to feel what I want?"_

" _Yes, in the extreme case, that is exactly right. That is the duty of those with unparalleled natural talent like yours."_

With everything I've caused and everything I've done, this is the extreme case. Just as she said, I don't have the right to feel like I want. People are relying on me. They need me to be strong. They need to see me that way. So I can't run away. I have to crush that desire to hurt, to cry, because it's time to wake up and face reality. I owe it to everyone. I owe it to them to face that pain without flinching. That would just disrespect them, and the sacrifices they made. It would conflict with my goal. My goal to save this world that is both mine and not mine.

Those thoughts give me the willpower I need to open my eyes. I see Sumika's face, smiling and happy. I think it's real for a moment, but just as the happiness and comfort of that image begins to reach me, more images disprove that notion. Images of this world's Sumika. The image that replaces Sumika's smiling and happy face is dark. A picture of the room she spent so much time in, but drained of all color. Even Kasumi who sat there playing cat's cradle, as I watched in the distance. But there's more. Sumika and I on a rooftop eating lunch. Me giving Sumika the rabbit. Me hugging Sumika. Image after image, eventually cycling so fast that I don't have the time to comprehend them individually.

It still strikes me how many of these images… have me in them.

They end eventually, and the memories and fog clear to reveal Kasumi's downcast face looking at me. Her gaze is decorated by slightly drooping eyelids and a smile that clearly takes effort to wear. That smile collapses instantly when I don't respond.

"Shirogane." She calls out to me when I don't speak. I blink before I reply.

"Ugh… Kasumi. What's going…?" I cut off my question as the memories come back to me. Being on the Susano'o Mark 4. Pulling the trigger that took Meiya's life. Tears build in my eyes, but I quickly dismiss them, putting on a smile of my own. I can't imagine it looks very natural, but I put effort into holding it.

"You know." Kasumi declares matter-of-factly. She's right, so instead I proceed to my next question.

"Where…?"

"We're home."

"Eh? Yokohama Base?"

"Yes."

I sit up in my chair, looking around the cockpit of the escape vessel we had used to leave the hive. Looking out of the windshield, it's clear we are on the ground, and that a small crowd is waving and cheering while looking in my direction. The crowd... it would probably be bigger if there were more still alive, but that's beside the point. Why wouldn't there be a crowd? The mission was successful. They needed a symbol of hope. This escape craft presented it.

And when that's no longer available, it will probably be me that becomes the symbol. It's not a role I want, but it's one I'll accept out of necessity. I need more power after all, to complete my objective. Distant a reason as it may be, I still want to save humanity.

"It's all over now." Kasumi says, responding to my feelings.

"There's still more to do." I reply.

"You'll see when we go. They're working to cool down and clean the shuttle right now. We should be able to leave soon."

"I see."

"A large number of people have gathered."

"Yea, I noticed…"

"They have all been waiting for our return." She says, before smiling again and continuing. "Everyone's grateful. There are many people here, but gratitude is the only emotion I can feel."

I look outside. I see smiles on everyone's faces. Flags. Salutes. They're glad for what we did. That makes sense. Though, they don't know what we lost… and even when I'm the only person to step outside… they probably won't understand. They will only appreciate the fact that we were successful, not that lives were lost. Sacrifices are a necessary part of war, so it's not a surprise, but I can't help but feel offended because that's not the point... We lost people stronger than me. More worthy than me.

"It's amazing we got out of that huge explosion okay." I comment as I look back at Kasumi. I'm glad to see my facade seems to be improving as I commit more thoroughly to it. "I'm pretty pitiful. I passed out. Thank you Kasumi. You piloted us all the way back here, didn't you?"

"We came back via autopilot. I only just woke up myself."

"Oh, I see..."

We fall into silence for a long period as I drift off into thought as I usually do.

This shuttle we're in… it's a recon shuttle capable of holding ten people. There were supposed to be five more of us here. The seats are all empty. It's just me, Kasumi, and Sumika. When I think that, she narrows her eyes, but I don't notice. I just keep thinking about the empty seats… about how that's just the reality I have to bear. I wanted to save this world, and repair the other world, so I can't ignore this reality. I can't deny it.

I remember all their faces. Class Rep, Tama, Mikoto, Ayamine… and Meiya. The second I feel the urge for tears, I squash it. They wouldn't want that. This is not time to cry. Like I said, the crowd needs to see me. See me happy. My comrades aren't here to do it themselves anymore, so it's my responsibility. They would be okay with that. They would tell me that's what I need to do. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that...

I shouldn't hoist any responsibility onto others. That's my burden.

"I'm sorry Kasumi. I'm pretty pathetic. I forced you to do something pretty hard back there, didn't I?"

"No. No one did anything wrong. You were trying to prioritize the mission and not think of anything else."

"That was what I did in the end."

"That may be, but the truth was, you wanted to save everyone. You didn't want to just complete the mission."

"Of course I did. And it almost cost us everything."

"No, because everyone noticed it."

"I know that."

That's why they didn't show me what was happening. They deceived me so I would remain focused. Humanity's future was at stake, but I still couldn't focus on the mission. They had no choice. Meiya… finally got me to stop hesitating at the end... and I almost did anyways. I almost ignored her pleas because I was a weakling.

"You were only able to fight that hard because you're that kind of person. Because you're like that, everyone did the very best they could for humanity. In order to save humanity. In order to honor the people they'd fought with to survive. And… in order to keep you from dying alone and in pain. Everyone in the unit… was thinking the same thing."

I can't bring myself to respond to that. I just look down, trying to think. Trying to bring myself to agree with her opinion. But… I can't. She continues.

"Sumika was thinking that way too."

Sumika… felt the same way… as the others…?

Wait!

"Kasumi. Did you… say… was?"

She closes her eyes as her face falls. Fear clenches my chest. More weakness. I try to dismiss it, but I can't.

"What did you mean by that?" I ask, voice trembling. She doesn't respond, so I raise my voice. "What did you mean by that Kasumi!?"

She doesn't answer. So I jump out of my chair and bolt to the 00 unit control block. When I open it, the sight makes my heart drop. She's holding the rabbit I made for her to her chest, lying perfectly still.

"Hey…! Sumika…!?" I cry out denying the obvious truth with all my willpower.

She doesn't respond either. I walk to her side, crouching down. My heart feels like it's about to beat its way out of my chest. I place my hands on her shoulders and shake her.

"Sumika… Sumika, hey… wake up." I speak gently at first, but when she doesn't reply... I start panicking, speaking louder, losing my consideration. "Sumika! Sumika! Wake up! What's wrong!? This is… some kind of joke right? Wake up! Stop scaring me like this! Sumika! Sumikaaa!"

She remains silent. My shouting accomplishes nothing. Wh-What the hell!? Why? Why did this happen!? Is it because… of what happened at the end? Did… did I push her too hard? Is this… my fault?

"No." Kasumi says from behind me. I flip around to face her, a shocked expression stuck on my face. "She never planned on coming home in the first place."

"Stop… stop being vague. What do you mean!? I know there was… no guarantee she would survive…! But… what are you talking about!?"

"Sumika made that decision… when this base's reactor was destroyed."

"What!? What the hell!? That makes no sense. Why the hell would she do that!? What does the reactor have to do with Sumika!?"

"The cylinder Sumika's brain used to be in… glowed a bluish white."

"Huh?"

"The same color as the reactor… and the primary objective. The ODL purification device on the maintenance bed… was connected to the reactor. The reactor… did all the purifying."

"Wha-?"

Then… the maintenance bed in the brain room was…

"That cylinder is directly connected to the reactor."

A recollection of a conversation with Yuuko-sensei comes to mind as I try to piece together my knowledge into a cohesive conclusion.

" _The ODL deteriorates as time passes and her quantum brain operates, and it has to be refilled every seventy-two hours. A complete purification requires special equipment. If we compare the ODL to blood, it's like a hemodialysis machine."_

" _What happens… after seventy-two hours?"_

" _At best, she stops functioning. At worst, she wouldn't have the same personality and memories as when we restarted her. That would mean she'd lose her value as the 00 Unit and become, at best, a human shaped computer."_

That's why… why she was making Operation Cherry Blossom happen so soon!? We needed to end this while we could still use the 00 Unit! Why!? Why didn't anyone tell me!? Besides… didn't Yuuko-sensei tell us to stop the reactor!? If she knew this would happen to Sumika… then why the hell would sensei...!?

"Back then, it was Sumika's idea to destroy the reactor." Kasumi says, still straight-faced and determined.

"What?"

"She reacted badly to the General's order to seal it off, and asked them to completely destroy it instead. But Professor Kouzuki decided to shut it down instead in case we could use it again later. In the end, the reactor was destroyed by two S-11's. Isn't that strange?"

"How… How so?"

"Only two S-11's did enough damage to the reactor to bring it offline."

"That was because… she knew where to place…"

But… that's impossible. The wired connection cut off before the data got transferred. So… how!? How the hell did the First Lieutenant know where to place the bombs!?

"Sumika did a projection on First Lieutenant Hayase." Kasumi explains. "Sumika knew how desperate the situation was, so on Professor Kouzuki's order she projected an image of the weak points. But Sumika sent a different image than the one she was ordered. Without Professor Kouzuki's knowledge, she sent the weakpoints that would destroy the reactor completely."

I'm speechless. So… back then… when First Lieutenant Hayase made that incredibly accurate guess about the reactor's role… was that because...!?

"It probably was because of the projection." Kasumi says. "Sumika interrupted the purification procedure twice and forced herself awake. I don't think she was capable of projecting much more than the weak points."

I… see… Sumika had lost consciousness because of abnormal ODL degradation.

"Then… what First Lieutenant Hayase did back then… was Sumika." I say, piecing it together in my mind.

"She was strong, but Sumika could not control other people's will. The Lieutenant did what she thought was right based on the information she received."

"I… see…"

"If the receiver isn't conscious of the projected image, it's indistinguishable from a stray thought that disappears in an instant. If no thoughts exist as receptors for the image, the projection will fail."

I see… so projection relies on memory associations too…

"The failure of Alternative III proved that." Kasumi explains.

That's right. Besides, even if Sumika could control people, she would never do something like that. Someone who could do that would never want to go attack the primary objective all on their own.

"But… why…? Why did Sumika want to destroy the reactor so badly? Why did she want to be deployed alone? You know… don't you?"

She closes her eyes, as if lost in thought. But I know she just doesn't want to tell me. She's afraid it will hurt me. I take a deep breath and calm myself before continuing. My voice sounds cold as my eyes drift towards the floor. Now that I've taken my feelings off the table, nothing seems real anymore, but I ask the question nonetheless. I know the answer already, I'm pretty sure. It's a useless question. I shouldn't be asking it. But, I owe it to her, to learn the truth. I said I would always accept her before, so if I didn't accept this I would be a hypocrite of the highest order.

"Kasumi, tell me. You know, so tell me. Why would she do something like that? If she knew she was going to die, why would she do that?"

"Her reason is exactly what you're trying to avoid. You want it to be a different reason, but it's not. You know the truth already."

"Then… she really was…"

I feel woozy. I want it to stop, but I can't run away from the truth, and I can't cry. So I have to suppress the emotion. But… it's hard. Or is it? Maybe it's just… too easy?

Kasumi continues, and says the words I don't want to hear.

"Yes, Sumika was the one who gave information on humanity to the BETA."

So… that really did happen! Is that… the only way to explain this!? I want to plug my ears as Kasumi keeps speaking, but I can't do that. I'm suppressing that emotion, so I dismiss that desire.

"Every time Sumika purified her ODL, everything she'd seen and heard passed through the reactor to the Primary Objective."

Hayase said…

" _The BETA might have gained information on the S-11 from the reactor as well as energy! If… the reactor isn't just a power source, but a transmission device… If the BETA exchange information through the reactors… The information on the Alternative Plan and the Susano'o… will be sent to every hive on Earth!"_

Her guess was confirmed by Sumika's projection. That thing we spoke to… it really meant what it was saying. About the higher existence, Sumika, transferring information to it. It wasn't attacking it. It just wanted to exchange information with Sumika.

Kasumi speaks, averting her eyes.

"Shirogane, when you talked to the primary objective… I think it was interested in you because so much of the information Sumika had been sending was about you."

In the end, First Lieutenant Hayase's guess was correct. We just hadn't identified its computer-like functions. Yuuko said she was "so close" because she only wanted to give me the information I needed, not enough to figure out the truth behind Sumika…

Wait, no. That was in front of everyone. There's no way she could reveal something that classified. Before, she said…

" _You seem to be trusting me a bit. You sure about that? I might never tell you the whole truth about this."_

Even if she was lying, given Sensei's personality, it's my fault for not checking this when I last talked to her.

"When did Sumika learn all this?" I ask.

"During purification, she suddenly opened her eyes." She answers.

"You mean just before she told Yuuko-sensei to blow the reactor?"

"That's right. Professor Kouzuki talked to her about it in the Command Center."

"I… see…"

I'm glad she hasn't been suffering from knowing this for very long. That knowledge would be so painful, I'm not sure I'd be able to hold it in like everything else. As it is, I'm a bit relieved. So I ask another question.

"But, why did she learn that so suddenly?"

She recovered quickly after the Objective 21 Operation too… Kasumi answers my question.

"Because, you got together. The closed parts of her subconscious were completely opened. That's when she learned everything."

That happened because of me. That must've been… why she lost consciousness back then.

"Correct." Kasumi says. "That was caused by the mental strain of taking in all that new information."

"Sumika…"

You've been the BETA's spy all this time without even knowing about it. The shock… it must be… just as bad as when I came in here. Or worse. Did you… feel the way I did? The crushing guilt? On top of what you were already feeling from what those horrible things they did to you? Is that why… you were prepared to die, and wanted to end it all yourself?

"That's not the only reason." Kasumi interjects.

"There's more?"

"Yes…" She trails off, closing her eyes as if she is hesitant to answer again.

"There's nothing else you can say that will affect me. Just say it."

"Knowing everything isn't always a good thing."

"That's certainly true…"

"Even if you never know… the problem will go away soon."

"Then why did you tell me there was more to it? If you'd just quietly listened to my thoughts that would've been the end of it."

Huh? Have I had this conversation before?

"Why do you want to know so badly?" She wonders, staring wide-eyed into my tired gaze. "You just want to know? You're curious?"

"Not curious persey. I just need… closure. I need that before I leave."

After learning all of this, I don't think I want to stay here anymore. I don't want to fight anymore. This isn't me running away again. I've done everything I can conceivably do as one person in this world. I got them on the right track. I fulfilled by promises to my comrades. I saved the world like I wanted. Regardless of what happens, there's no way humanity should lose now, and without Sumika I'm lacking the personal reason to fight. I would just get in the way.

I need to find what makes me the causality conductor and destroy it. After what I've done, Yuuko-sensei owes me. I can take advantage of that to get her to help me find it. If she refuses, I can force her hand somehow. I'll beat her at her own game if I have to. I won't hesitate. They taught me how not to do that anymore. They taught me not to rely on them to accomplish what I want to do. Relying on others… just kills them. So I have to be strong enough to change things on my own. I am now. I have to be because if not I will truly break.

"Why… are you so…?"

"You know why. You read Meiya's death off of me. You've read what I'm feeling right now about Sumika. After pushing my hesitation down there, there is no possible situation in which I would hesitate again. I've proven strong enough to save this world, and at this point… that's enough for me to say I accomplished what I came here to do. I no longer have a reason to fight for this world, not a far off reason or a personal one. If there's no Sumika in it to protect. If the world is already more or less saved. No matter what world I'm in, no matter what the nature of my existence, Sumika Kagami is the woman I love."

"If you've hurt someone, you want to apologize, and you'd do anything to show how sorry you are. You said that to me on the hill, the first day of training school."

"I'm not sure I can believe in that anymore. If it's Sumika, of course, but… I'm not sure I can do it for people I don't know personally. Who don't know what I did, and don't blame me for it anyways. Regardless, what does that even matter?"

"Sumika was the same as you. She wanted everyone she'd made miserable to be happy again. She wanted to do everything she could for those people."

"I told you, I can't believe in that anymore. She's not here. And if she's not here, how can I hold steady to that? I don't know who I am without her. Not anymore… I'm not sure if that's me. I'm not sure a person like that would be able to not hesitate. But that's fine, I'm stronger now because of I've moved passed it. I've grown up. I'm not a child anymore who can buy into such foolish things. Not that I would run away from a debt I need to repay, but I've paid it back. I've atoned. So there's no need to worry about it, right?

"Excuse me. I'm going to go see Yuuko-sensei now…" I turn back to look at Sumika. I'm sure a mournful look touches my face for an instant, but I suppress it. I'm not supposed to show how I feel around other people. Even the tone of my farewell doesn't fit its words. "Goodbye, Sumika… I'm going to go back now. I hope… you're at peace now."

I start walking away, but Kasumi grabs my sleeve and speaks.

"That's not all. She was also guilty because she couldn't change events in this world in the way she wanted."

"What…?" I wonder, looking down at her.

"If I'm right, you're not a causality conductor anymore."

Wait, you mean?

"It's only a feeling I got from her. But… I think Sumika was the one who made you that way. I don't think you have to worry about whether or not you'll be able to return now."

"How…?"

"The desperation she felt, when she was trapped like that… I saw it. The image in the dream she had. A dark place, with twins… it didn't become clear until later, but the twins were both Shirogane. One was dead, and the other was growing. Her brain, all alone, lonely, sought you out. But… you didn't exist here anymore. Yet… her desire to see you...

"The first thing I read from her was, 'I want to see Takeru-chan'. It was all throughout what was left of her. That desire. She lived on that desire, wanting to make it come true even though she watched this world's Shirogane die. Still, having that memory, she never stopped having that desire.

"Of course... that's not enough on its own."

"You don't mean... the G-Bombs?" I wonder, thinking of what could've caused such a thing.

"Yes, when the two G-Bombs exploded in the Yokohama Hive, the complex supergravitational tides of the explosion resonated with the reactor which produced a sharp, deep, distortion in spacetime. And for a brief moment, a path opened to a world close to ours. Your world. Her desire travelled along that path, and retrieved you. And, for the exchange of large quantities of G Elements, you arrived. There is no evidence of this. This is Professor Kouzuki's theory after hearing what Sumika learned."

"So, it wasn't her intention to take me specifically… I just got unlucky."

"If it was her choice, I'm sure she would've chosen the you she wanted most. One which at the very least already loved her. You did not when you first arrived here. That is proven by the fact that you have memories of other versions of you. Whether they are in other branches or are just you looping over and over, your current existence came from their death. And the other versions of you had different experiences and different feelings."

That definitely seems to be the case. I have other questions, but they all seem pointless, so why bother?

"Long story short, though, I can go home? The worlds I interfered with are fixed?"

"If you really aren't a causality conductor anymore, then you will have no choice in the matter. You don't belong in this world. Without anything to keep you here, your own world will draw you back. And since you aren't a causality conductor anymore, you can't carry events which would damage the other timelines, and any events you participated in should be undone."

"Ah, I see… that's good. Do you… think I'm a weakling this time? Do you think I'm running away again?"

"…"

"Give me your honest answer. I'm wondering what you think."

"I do not think you are weak, I think that you suffer more pain than anyone else in this world when things don't go your way because of who you are. And even without that, you've suffered more than most of them. I don't know if anyone can go through such things and remain the same person. You've changed… Takeru."

"Was it for the better?"

"Only you can answer that question… but, in my opinion, you have lost something valuable that the others would not have wanted you to lose."

"I see."

From upstairs, they hear the exit hatch unseal itself.

"I guess we'll have to continue this discussion later." Takeru says. "How long do you think I have?"

"If you have a will to stay here, it will take longer. I cannot give you an exact estimate."

"I understand. There's still one more thing I want to do here… You should come."

"I… will do that." With that, Kasumi turns around and starts to leave as Takeru gathers Sumika's body in his arms.

"Thank you, Kasumi. Thank you for not judging me this time…"

"I'm not entirely human yet, but… she cared about you enough… that even were she here… she would want you to leave. The weight in your heart is much different than before. I am not sure even you could carry such a burden without more help than I can grant."

"Well, it's like I told you, I'm not weak this time. I just have a selfish desire."

"Yes, I can sense that's the truth…"

"I'll see you on the hill later."

"I will be there." With that, Kasumi disappears. I take a deep breath and hug Sumika's body close. She is still warm. She is still Sumika…

"I'm sorry for failing you." I say softly without tears. "I hope… that helping made you happy in the end."

With that, I turn and head outside. Kasumi is already gone, and suppressing the tears is becoming easier. Even then, I cannot smile. I can't say I care all that much. This is a world I'll abandon. They'll all forget me when I leave anyways. No point in leaving an impression. So I leave in silence. They're all quiet too, just looking at me, saluting me. I don't avert my eyes from their gaze, but they avoid mine. They stay away quietly in respect for their savior. I prefer it that way, and I'm glad when no one follows me to the hill where I lay Sumika down on the ground. That's no surprise I guess, all the people who would've followed me are gone, as are the promises they laid on my shoulders. All that's left in me is the duty I had to them.

I cast my gaze towards the base as I realize I forgot to retrieve something I need for this part.

"Sorry Sumika, I'm an idiot. I forgot the most important thing about this…"

"It is alright." Kasumi says as she arrives, and hands me a shovel which I accept with a nod and a thanks. I start digging without hesitating. It doesn't take long. Sumika is small, after all. I end up digging more. I have to keep digging. She was small, but she had such a big heart, so she's too big for such a grave. We are rudely interrupted by an uninvited guest.

"What's the point of burying the 00 Unit?" Yuuko-sensei says from a short distance away.

"She's not the 00 Unit. She's Sumika." I say quietly. I can't react to her words anymore. She is a part of this world I will not miss. She helped me out of her own self-interest, and I'm tired of the mind-games. Huh… the me before I left would never have thought that. I'm glad I've grown enough to be able to toss her aside. "And no one… will ever dig up this grave. Kasumi will make sure of that."

Kasumi nods in affirmation.

"That's fine." Yuuko says. "You've earned my consideration as far as I'm concerned. There's really not much we can get from her anymore anyways."

"Of course that's what's important to you."

"Judging by the tone of your voice Shirogane, if she wasn't important to you, you would think much the same thing. The ends justify the means after all."

"Hm… you may be right."

"All human beings act in their own self-interest."

"Why are you here?"

"Nah… I'll wait for you to finish."

"Thank you."

The rest of the burial is conducted in silence that no one is so disrespectful as to interrupt. Even though I dig a deep hole, it doesn't take me long to reach as great a depth and width as I can justify. With that, I gather Sumika in my arms and lay her gently in the ground, making sure she doesn't drop the rabbit I made her. After a simple kiss on the forehead, I cover the body with dirt and pack it down. Lacking other means, I decide to mark the grave with a small pyramid of rocks. It's as much as I can do.

"I'm glad… I got to bury at least one person myself." I say, before standing up and turning around to look at Yuuko-sensei. "There's one more thing I need to do. Stay here, please."

"As you wish."

Kasumi remains still as well. It's not that far away down the cherry blossom tree road to the large piece of metal sticking from the ground. I place my hand atop it, so that I can talk to them all one last time. Everyone I'd failed in this world. Everyone who had died because I wasn't strong enough.

"I'm sorry you all had to die. But… don't worry about me. I'll keep going. I won't give up. And if I can ever come up with something as solid as a goal again, I'll pursue it without fail. I won't let anyone stop me. I won't rely on anyone else to help me get it done. Thanks for giving that strength to me. I'm sure I'm better off for it."

I planned to stay longer, but I'm starting to feel something. A type of tingling feeling running through my body. It's unfamiliar, so I have to assume it's something very specific. I can't afford to spend too much time with them all. So… I'll cut it short. It looked like Yuuko-sensei wanted to talk with me before I left. She's standing alongside Kasumi near the hill in the distance.

"Just… please forgive me for being unable to smile right now. I don't have enough time to gather my thoughts enough so I can do that. I'm a failure as platoon leader… I know. But I'll never forget you, and hopefully you can still hear me across worlds. I'll make sure to laugh a bit once I can manage it. Give them hell. Goodbye, everyone…"

When I first came to this world… I didn't want to accept that there could be one so screwed up. I pitied everyone that lived here, and then I tried to save them. Ironic that in the end... they all saved me. I lost sight of something that simple during the course of the war. I got full of myself because I was the only one who'd seen the world end, so I didn't see it until now. They gave me the strength I needed to carry on. So only now do I finally understand what it means to be a soldier, and I'll never forget what everyone here taught me.

And in respect for that, I return to Yuuko and Kasumi without looking back. The goodbye may have been short, but I'm sure they received my feelings, and I'm sure while watching they're proud I didn't cry. They're proud I'm not falling apart like that other time. They're proud of me for not being obsessed with the past, even though my heart is begging me to. But that's just another feeling I crush before it gets out of hand. Another feeling I crush before it can control me.

"Yuuko-sensei." I say as I walk up to her. "I don't have long, so whatever you've got to get off your chest, you should do it soon."

"You really have grown Shirogane." She says with her trade-mark off-kilter smile. Even now I'm still not sure whether or not to take her seriously. "Look at that focus. I'm glad at the end we're equals. Parting with my partner in crime feels better that way."

I say nothing.

"Aw, guess you're going to be that way then. But at least you're done saying goodbye and you've really got nothing left to do in this world. Though that also means we don't have long."

There are still BETA on Earth, the Moon, and Mars. There are a huge number of hives throughout the universe. But they aren't my problem anymore. I saved them already, but I can't keep saving them. They need to stand up and save themselves. Lots of them are stronger than me, even now. I'm sure they'll be able to manage it.

"That's right. I have nothing left to do here." I say.

"Surprising, I thought you'd say the opposite." Yuuko replies.

"Sorry to disappoint, but this isn't my world. There's only so much I'm obligated to do for it. I paid off my debts, so I'm done."

"As far as I'm concerned Shirogane, you did far more than what you were obligated to do. Far more that what anyone could've or should've expected from you. You changed who you were to accommodate that goal and saved the world. You have nothing to regret."

"You certainly don't seem to have any. Guess I won't be able to make you cry. I promised the other world's Yuuko-sensei I would do that."

"Ha, such a shame." She pauses before continuing. "Well, anyways, don't forget that you did great out there."

"You don't need to flatter me. I know what I did. I know what we accomplished."

"The modesty is all gone, huh?"

"I'm not going to deny the truth over something so silly."

"I see…"

"Is this all you're here to say? That's not like you. You've never come to talk to me right after I came back from an operation."

"Really? Never?"

"Not once."

Does this mean Sensei's feeling something about me leaving? The fact that she went out of her way to come all the way out here. Ha, no way. No matter what happened she wouldn't do that. She's like me, or should I say I'm like her. Either way… can't leave unpaid debts. That's why I came straight here. Paying back my debts to my comrades and Sumika was a lot more important than anything else I could conceivably do.

"There are a lot of questions about what happened." Yuuko says.

"You'll have to use the flight recorder and ask Kasumi. I don't have any time for that right now."

"Yes, I understand. Though I will miss having your unique perspective."

"I somehow doubt I'd be able to offer anything to amuse you as I am now."

"I see… Well, we'd better hurry and get this over with."

"With what?"

"Here."

Yuuko offers a gun. A small 9mm pistol. The same one she offered me once before.

"You'll use it right?" She asks as I take the gun from her. "You're not a causality conductor anymore. Even if you kill me, nothing will happen to the me in the other world. I'm sure that's one of the reasons you didn't back then. And since Kagami doesn't exist during this transfer, you really will cease to exist in this world. This time, not one person in this world will ever remember you existed. So you won't have to worry about anyone wondering where you went and criticizing you for it."

She has a point. At the time, I was only thinking about Sumika, so I never noticed that. As she speaks, I make sure the gun is loaded and ready to fire, and then I point the gun at her forehead. She doesn't move at all, but instead flashes a grin.

"I know that look Shirogane. I haven't seen it on your face before, but it's familiar. If you were going to do it, you would already have done so. Or, what? Would you like me to answer some questions first? Or do you have something to tell me? I did… tell you to save the whining and complaining until the end, after all. This is the end."

"I did have some more pointless questions earlier for Kasumi. But there were more important things to do. Besides, I'd rather get the answers from you."

"I see. I'm glad my advice is valuable to you."

I don't lower the gun as I ask.

"Earlier, Kasumi explained to me that the other versions of me who existed in this world and died have different feelings than I do. I understand that could be explained by me looping and having latent memories from previous timelines influence my actions, but that doesn't explain why I would be getting memory flashes of multiple timelines in my original world."

"That's a tough one, but I'll give it my best shot." She says before continuing. "My theory is that every possibility you have envisioned is the result of the fact that when you were taken into this world, you still had the potential to advance along any number of branches in your world. By coming here, and dying, you became a type of 'nexus' for that Shirogane's memories. That is why your visions are less frequently of your original world, as they are drawn from over a greater cosmic distance. Instead of drawing either from other branches in this world or from your own personal experiences in previous loops, you draw from the distinct branches of your world."

"But how did that happen?"

"When you die, you are at that point no longer a physical being. I don't quite know how this works, but my theory is that at that point, in cosmic terms you are an object of significant causal mass which draws in cosmic information related to your specific existence."

"Causal… mass?"

"Think of it as you being a sun and having a solar system of planets around you. An object that big, having that much mass, has gravity, though in your case you only pull in things which are directly related to you as the Takeru Shirogane of your specific world. When someone dies, their existence doesn't usually stick around, but yours does. When you are detached from the world by dying your gravity has influence on the worlds around us. It pulls in information on all other versions of the Takeru Shirogane from your world's branches depending on your will."

"But why am I such a 'heavy' object in causal terms?"

"You're thinking of this wrong. I'm stretching the analogy, but you're not heavy in causal terms like the way we were talking before. Causal mass is a different concept altogether. As for why you have so much causal mass, I have no idea. I would think that your dying and coming back has something to do with it. This is why I suspect that your loops are all your experience rather than there being multiple distinct versions of you in different branches. By going through that state so many times, you would grow in mass by the number of experiences and causal information you built up and carried over to your new start. Past a certain point, your causal mass would be so enormous that you'd start pulling memories from every branch of you whether you liked it or not. I'd imagine that so many conflicting memories would drive you mad."

"Wait, is that why this timeline went differently? You said that me choosing Sumika is what caused this, but that doesn't explain why this time my experiences from previous loops and even the body I built up is intact. My memories aren't complete of course, but even considering that the memories I have are most likely an amalgamation of memories from the other versions of me in this world, I have no memory of ever waking up with those things before. Every other timeline I have recalled seems to end more or less the same way. And this is the only time I carried my experiences over. Is it because of my causal mass? Have I… grown so much that I'm starting to pull from adjacent branches of this world?"

"Hm… interesting theory, but I don't think so. I do think your causal mass has something to do with this but you're thinking about it the wrong way. The first half is more or less what I suspect. Your causal mass grew large, so you woke up with memories of your previous experiences. But I don't think that's because you drew from the other branches. I think what it is, is that the most familiar experiences across time loops became imprinted on you. So once you had done them a certain number of times, you were able to readily access them. I don't really understand why this seems to have been all at once but that's the best explanation."

"So… are you saying that if I had been looped again, I wouldn't have had the memories of this loop? I would've… woken up the same way?"

"It seems likely you carry some latent memories or you wouldn't do even small things differently in each loop. But, yes, this would've played out more or less the same way until you had run this scenario so many times that the memories became embedded in your causal mass. Or… it would be more appropriate to say that your gravity, in cosmic terms, was too great for the most familiar experiences to escape."

"Ah… so looping this again would've been pointless."

"Yes. Most likely you would've ended with the same result. Does that make you feel better?"

"In a way… yes. A bit."

"Anything else? I have a busy schedule, you know."

"Sorry to waste it." I say, lowering the gun. "This world needs you. It would be betraying everyone who died to kill you now."

"But… you're not saying you don't want to?"

"Could you, if you were in my position?"

"I suppose not. I don't regret what I did. I produced the results I wanted. But, from the outside I must appear to be a truly despicable person. Or… I am a truly despicable person."

"If anything else, you are the one person I don't think I could ever bring myself to forgive. But… you are also the one person who I appreciate the most for being here. I wouldn't have been able to do anything without you. I would've been stuck here forever, repeating my suffering for an eternity."

"I see. So, we're even?"

"Of course that's what you would get out of that. The answer is no. Don't waste your life, keep protecting humanity, then we'll be even."

"I understand. If you're okay with that, it's easy enough for me."

"That's all too true."

Sensei's definitely not weak. She's strict and calculating when it comes to completing her objectives. Maybe she's lying and she does feel remorse, but I don't really think that would change anything. Though… if she was really completely that type of person, she wouldn't have drunken herself stupid and cried to me back then. She wouldn't have checked whether or not the Captain's sister had died. But still, she accepted her responsibility of showing others the way head on, and she never hesitated. Not like I did. She locked all those things inside from the beginning, never complaining to anyone.

I wonder if the reason I feel such overwhelming hatred for her as I am now has anything to do with how similar we now are. Sort of like… how Sakaki and Ayamine used to be. But, regardless, it's thanks to her that I was able to come this far. No matter how many times I looped. No matter how many things I managed to integrate into my "causal mass". I wouldn't have been able to do nearly as much without her. But… that is merely her paying her debt back to me. She needed me just as much. Though, I have to thank her, for making me the way I am now. She really was a great teacher.

"What's wrong? Want to shoot me after all?"

"I never stopped. But I stand by what I said. More importantly, just like I'm not going to hoist any responsibility for the things I've done on anyone else, I'm not going to hoist it on you either. I'm not going to blame you or act like a victim. I can't help but hate you, but I'm done letting my emotions control me."

"Even if you did, you still wouldn't have shot me. You're too good a person Shirogane."

"No, the previous me was just weak. The current me just has a reason to keep you alive."

"Yes, I understand. If you change your mind, feel free to do it whenever."

"I'm keeping the gun."

"Bold."

"Not really. I just want to feel like I took something from you. At least that way, I can partially pay back my debt to the other you. This is a situation where I'm choosing to balance the scales. Though… guess it's more of a symbolic gesture than anything."

"Indeed. So, you've got no complaining to do?"

"None. I won't worry about the past anymore."

"Wow…"

To be honest, I have tons of pointless questions for her. But there's no point in checking each and every one of them now. I don't feel as if I have that much time… and besides, learning more about this world has no value to me. I'll never see it again.

"Hm, well how about something more future-oriented?" She asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing in particular. If anything… just some way of killing time until you disappear."

"I thought you were busy?"

"Seeing you off is part of paying back my debt, so humor me."

"Okay. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, if I'm right, then the events you caused in the other worlds are gone and you'll return to October 22nd in your world. The day in which you were from pulled from it and turned into a causality conductor by Sumika Kagami."

"Yes, I understand. Everything that I did was fixed."

"Yep, everything you caused is being reconstructed back to its original state. If there really are other branches of this world as well, other versions of you who loved someone other than Kagami, they should be reconstructed as well. You are the 'true' Takeru Shirogane after all. The others might as well be fakes in comparison. Copies."

"They were still me at some point. And… I think regardless of who they love… they would still feel guilty for allowing Sumika to suffer. They would still love Sumika as their closest friend."

"I see. They are you, after all, so of course you would know. Or rather they were you. They've been erased now. They only existed because you were there."

So, in the end, even those worlds have to start from scratch.

"I understand." I reply.

"Well, either way, I'm sure those worlds won't be exactly the same." Yuuko explains. "Even if you aren't there, causality is affected by strong will. All of this is proof of that. Even if those versions of you were still the child you started as, they certainly had a strong will. I don't think that will go unrecognized in the world even if they are reconstructed."

"Are you trying to reassure me? You should stop."

"Oh please, I'm not the type to do that Shirogane. I'm just embracing the fact that it turned out it was as I predicted. The quantum causality theory accounts for the strength of the will of life in the world. Don't you remember?"

The 00 Unit candidates and their ability to attract branches they desired. That must be what she means. In theory… anyone who has a strong will is a 00 Unit candidate in that respect. Even me. But, because will that strong is so hard to come by, it ends up being an extremely rare ability…

"Receiving causality information leaking out of parallel worlds requires a will to contain them." Yuuko continues, interrupting my thoughts. "In that way, causality information exchanges and projections are the same thing. Information can't reach something which won't receive it."

"Ah, I understand now."

"Ha, you're a strange person. No matter what, deep down, you always try to find the good in people. Even people you hate."

…!

"Sumika had a strong will too." Kasumi interrupts. "Without it, she would have died with all of those other brains. That is what I believe."

"I'm sure that will may impact even your world Shirogane." Yuuko says. "If her will was that strong, I'm sure she desired for you to have a good life, and the world that results should be product of that."

"Now… you really are trying to reassure me, Sensei." I tell her.

"We all owe Kagami." She explains simply. "So I am merely telling you what she would want me to tell you. In my personal opinion, that's just wishful thinking. If you want a better world and a good life you need to build those yourself."

"I can't disagree with that. But… knowing that's a possibility is still good."

"That's what she would have wanted, so it's not like I'm not going to begrudge you that. You're all grown up after all. You wouldn't rely on that type of idea to have the life you want."

"Another thing I can't disagree with."

The tingling sensation is getting stronger and particles of light are starting to emerge from my feet. Time is winding down to my disappearance.

"There is one other thing." Yuuko says. "Tamase left you a letter, do you want it? Or, do you have no interest in the past? You won't have time to read it now, but you shouldn't lose it. Or the gun. Your own world is missing a Shirogane, so when you return you will do it as you are now."

I nod, and Kasumi hands it to me. She said… she wouldn't write a will. Guess she decided otherwise. I hold it in my hand to ensure it will not disappear.

"Thanks. As an Eishi from the same unit and a comrade from the same training school, I can't let it go to waste."

"Very well. Regardless… Shirogane, this world will forget everything you did for us. It will forget how important you were to our survival." Yuuko says. "But no matter what, I will not forget my debt. And even if I did, I would still do as you asked. I will protect humanity. Without that, my life wouldn't have purpose."

"Good. If you forgot, I'd have to come back and shoot you."

She grins.

"Guess that means I should ask one last pointless question." I say. She nods. "Kasumi, you said it was all over now before. What do you mean by that?"

"The BETA still remain, but the entity we destroyed was what offered them intelligence and direction." Kasumi explains. "They are now nothing more than mindless machines acting on the last directive they were given. There may still be others on Mars and the Moon, but at the very least this ensures that the war on Earth will end. Without direction, the BETA have forgotten even the most basic of their strategic nuance. This has already been confirmed in battles against the BETA that are still raging all across the world. Many will die, but the final result is clear. The BETA can no longer attack until something enters their range. Humanity can take all the time it needs to exterminate the BETA with precision.

"This planet is safe. I give you my word."

"For now it is. The rest of the war with the BETA... that's less certain." Yuuko says. "As Yashiro said, there may still be more of those BETA superiors on Mars and the Moon. They may decide to try and send them here. Still, using the data we've retrieved, especially the data from the primary objective… we know for a fact that we've have bought ourselves at least thirty more years of survival."

"Thirty… years?"

"Yes. All thanks to your efforts. Thanks to that theory, the equations, and even the XM3... Humanity was only expected to survive ten more years. This is a huge step, and it will ensure that even if humanity is forced to resort to Alternative V in the end, we shouldn't have to leave anyone behind."

"That's good to hear. Sorry, I was just surprised it was that much."

"Don't get me wrong. This war is far from over. It'll take a minimum of twenty years to wipe out the BETA on Mars. How long we last after that, or whether we even get that far, depends entirely on us."

"That's true. The universe is practically filled with BETA after all."

"Yes, but now humanity is at an advantage. They can no longer use our lack of knowledge of them and their function against us. The scientific data we gather from them will leap our technology forward decades in mere months. Of course… there's a bigger problem than the BETA that will affect all of this. Whether humanity can get over all of its rivalries and competing interests in order to work together. It almost cost us the war before, several times, and it may continue to bring us close to destruction in the future. Any future we have will depend on us moving past that.

"Of course, maybe it won't even be necessary. You've proven that communication with the BETA is possible. We might be able to negotiate for peace, or identify the species that made the BETA and negotiate with them. So we'll be doing a lot of research on that, for the military of course. We'll deal with mutual understanding once we eliminate the immediate threat.

"Whether we make peace or keep fighting… there will be idiots who try to use authority as an excuse to do whatever they want. And, unlike me, they won't use it for humanity's interests. So we'll have to keep dealing with internal conflicts on top of the BETA. Humans need our own mutual understanding before we can think about communicating with them. So, like I implied before, that mutual understanding is the real key to our survival."

That's right, and that doesn't just apply to this world. It's true in all of them. Not knowing about it is no excuse. Learning the value of something only after losing it is far too late. Feeling like doing something because everyone says you should doesn't mean anything. Yet, humans continue to repeat this. Even humans who live in a world this serious about living.

"Sensei." I say, looking straight into her eyes as the light grows and begins to obscure my vision. My legs are beginning to evaporate. I'm losing feeling in them, though it doesn't hurt.

"What?" She wonders.

"Everything I've done… Everything we gained in exchange for the lives of others… Make sure they have meaning."

"Of course. That's part of my debt. Even if no one finds out about their sacrifices, of your sacrifices… even if no one is grateful for them… the truth of the matter will never change. Those sacrifices meant something. They gave us a chance when we had none. Even should we lose, those sacrifices will still have had meaning, because at least we got to live that much longer.

"And that's why even if you hate me, I am grateful to you, for the gift you have bestowed upon every human being in this world. The gift of being able to choose our own future. Thank you, Shirogane. You are, without a doubt, this world's savior."

I nod, and decide to salute her. Because even if I hate her, I also respect her, and she deserves acknowledgement of that. She gives a slight grin, and returns the favor.

"Thank you, 2nd Lieutenant." Yuuko says. "Now go take the rest you've earned here."

"Ma'am." I reply in return. "Take care of the rest."

She nods, as the light envelops me completely. A loud noise dominates my ears.

"Kasumi, keep working with sensei." I call out, slowing increasing my volume as I speak to make sure she hears me. "Find your own identity, and speak to everyone with pride. I'm counting on you!"

"I will do that, 2nd Lieutenant. And when the world becomes peaceful once again, I will go and see the ocean!"

"Yes! Be sure… to make tons of memories! I'll always be watching you, no matter what world you're in!"

With that, I am deafened by silence. The light reaches a peak, and I finally fade away completely… leaving behind a world I will never be allowed to return to.

* * *

 _ **Sorry for the absurd length of this. It's necessary setup for the story and it changes a lot of the rules and dialogue of this scene to create a character arc for Shirogane to follow throughout the story and to facilitate the story at hand. I will keep future chapters to a reasonable length, and, of course, they will be completely original content. Absolutely nothing from this point is the same as the ending of Muv Luv Alternative.**_


	2. E11 - P2 - Prison

**MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

* * *

 **EPISODE 11: SELF IMPRISONMENT**

 **PART II: Prison**

* * *

The light is intense. So intense that even when I close my eyes, I still only see white. Strangely, it doesn't hurt. The light carries on for a while. On, and on, and on...

Am I ever going to get anywhere?

As if responding to that thought, the white disappears. Initially, my sight is completely black even though my eyes are open. Yet, slowly, my eyes adjust. I blink repeatedly as the world in front of me comes into focus. Only, instead of seeing Sumika's face as I had expected, I see prison bars. What the hell?

I'm still wearing my armored suit and as promised I still have the gun. I have the letter too, but that's not important. And, instead of standing like I was before, now I'm sitting on an uncomfortable cot with a thin cushion being the only thing separating me from the metal frame holding it up. I'm in a dark room with only one window looking out onto a dim sky full of grey clouds.

I don't understand. Why am I here? I was supposed to return to October 22nd but I'm in some kind of prison. What world even is this? Wasn't my own world supposed to pull me back? Or… maybe I'm in the right world, but the date hasn't changed? But… that wouldn't explain why I'm in a prison cell.

Shit, why am I even thinking about this? If this is a prison, someone is going to come by to check on me at some point. I'm just lucky the cell across from me is empty and I don't seem to be sharing a room with anyone. I'm not wearing the prison uniform and I have a gun. If someone sees me like this…

Okay, I need a plan. First of all, this armored suit needs to go. It's far too suspicious, and that's stating things lightly. Maybe I have extra clothes in here? I jump up from the cot loudly and look around as I get out of the armored suit, undoing the buckles that keep it rooted firmly in place. My gaze falls on a toilet, a metal sink, dank walls, a small bedside table with some letters and paper on it, and… a laundry basket! It has some clothing in it! A grey jumpsuit and some other stuff. That'll work, but first I need to hide the armored suit. I hear footsteps approaching, so for lack of a better option, I stuff it under my cot along with the gun and the letter.

The footsteps are too close for me to shove all my clothes on while avoiding suspicion, so I instead jump back onto the cot and draw the available blanket over me before closing my eyes, all to look like I'm sleeping. The ruse works because whoever it is passes my cell without any suspicion. With a sigh of relief, I wait for the footsteps to fade away before jumping back out of bed and quickly pulling on the prison uniform.

My next objective is obvious. I need to find a better hiding place for the armored suit and my gun. Thanks to the elastic nature of the armored suit, it's rather small when it's not on, so it won't take much more space than the gun will. I need to find a small hidden space where they won't be discovered by a cursory search of my room. Looking around, the only thing I can see is the sink. It's large and metal, and it looks like the bottom is hollow because no visible pipes are running into it. I tap it with my fist to check. The sound confirms this is true.

Unfortunately, the cover is screwed on. This doesn't worry me. After so much training, I have enough physical strength that I should be able to undo the screws with my bare hands. I bunch up my sleeve at the end and grasp it between my fingers before reaching to the screws. Clamping it with all my strength, I manage to turn the first screw after a few attempts. I have to undo five in order to dislodge the cover, so I hurry. As a precaution, I leave the last two screws in on the top two corners, shoving the others into my pocket, and wait for the next guard to come and pass. I'm assuming their patrols are on a regular basis and want to give myself all the time I can in order to set the cover back into place.

Now that I'm wearing clothes, I don't need to pretend to be sleeping, so I just wait on my bed. I don't know how long it's going to take before the next patrol passes, so I decide to grab the letter out from underneath my cot. I'm afraid that if I start reading it, I'll get distracted, so I just wait in silence and return to my thoughts.

Damn it? What is this? Is the universe punishing me or something? I didn't run away this time, and even if I was, I had to go regardless. I didn't have a choice in the matter. So, why the hell am I here? Why couldn't I just go back to my own goddamn world!? I suffered so long in a place that I didn't belong, but the world continues to fuck with me!

I take a breath. It's fine. A prison isn't so bad. It has tile floors and it doesn't look like the inside of a military base. I didn't even hear the shifting noise of an assault rifle or helmet when that guard passed by, which means he's just a normal prison guard. That means this is just a normal prison in a hopefully normal world. Even if I have to stay here until whenever this Shirogane's sentence is up, or even the rest of my life, it's still better than that world. After all that time suffering in a world that could end at any time, I can appreciate the peace of three square meals a day, some people to talk to, and a place to sleep. Maybe it would even be a good thing… I certainly have things to think about.

Still, at some point I'm going to need to find this world's Yuuko-sensei. I'm not going to go yelling at the guards about it or randomly requesting visits or phone calls. That would be far too suspicious. I'm going to take the time to figure out this world before I do anything. Ha, thinking back, that's the exact opposite of what I did the first time I showed up there... Those two guards who stopped me… the ones who died protecting 1st Lieutenant Suzumiya…

An image of me seeing Suzumiya die from my cockpit flashes into my mind. I shake it off and focus. That's a meaningless thing to think about, I have to figure out the situation I'm in first before I deal with that experience. Besides… I'd rather not go through it alone. I want… to tell Sumika about it.

Ugh, what am I thinking? I can't push that on her. I can't push my pain onto her. That world was cruel, but I should hide it so that no one has to feel the same way. I have to crush those feelings and try to move on. Just because I'm in a peaceful world doesn't mean I should forget the strength imparted onto me by my comrades. That would be cruel to their memories… and cruel to the people I care about.

But I'm jarred from such thoughts when I hear the hint of approaching footsteps. I decide to open the letter and flip it on its backside so I can't see the words. I'd probably look suspicious just staring at an envelope. I continue to focus on the footsteps as I pretend to read the letter. Unlike last time, the steps stop in front of my cell. I remain calm and continue to pretend to read the letter.

"Whatcha got there Shirogane? Another letter from your girlfriend?" The guard asks, leaning against the bars casually. I look over. He's a tall, middle-aged man with western facial features that seem to imply he's a foreigner. The accent supports that theory. I ignore that and focus on the prison uniform. It looks like something you'd see in my world, and he only has a nightstick on his belt. No gun. That's a good sign that this world is similar to mine, if not the same one. "Uh, Earth to Shirogane? Look alive, dude."

I return my gaze to his.

"Oh, sorry sir, it's… uh… from someone else. My parents."

"Sir? What the hell is this, Shirogane? The military? I told you to call me Macen."

That's not a very Japanese name…

"Well, yea, I'm an immigrant." He says with a raised eyebrow. "But you know that, so why's that important?"

Shit, I said that out loud? I really need to stop doing that. Lucky for me he gets off that topic on his own before I have a chance to make an excuse.

"Anyways, really? Your parents sent you a letter? They trying to make up with you? Last you told me, they won't even answer your calls. Guess they finally listened to all the messages you left."

What? Was what I did really that bad…?

"Yea… I want to make up with them." I answer cautiously. "They're my parents after all."

"That's good and all but I really think it's a lost cause man. You can send all the letters and phone calls you want, but that kind of thing really needs to be done in person. Since you're Japanese you can even bury you're face in the floor without anyone thinking you're a weirdo. Well, except me! Haha!"

I decide to chance a subtle non-question hoping he'll give me a time frame.

"Yea, I guess I should wait until I get out, but it seems like it's gonna be forever…"

"Eh, don't worry about it Shirogane. You only got five more months, right? Either way, it's never too late to make up with your folks. If I were you, I'd focus on the girl. Especially considering the state she's in…"

"Sorry?"

"What the hell's wrong with you Shirogane? I meant Kagami. Man, what happened to her was real unfortunate, but at least she's got someone like you…"

"Sorry I'm just a bit tired. It is… uh… really sad though. I love Sumika, and it… hurts me to see what she's going through."

Damn it, that didn't sound natural at all. I really wasn't made to be an actor. But… wait, what happened to Sumika…? It sounds like she's hurt or something. I'm worried, but I can't chance asking without looking more suspicious.

"I'll say. I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing her roll up to visit you, now that I know what happened to her… But she must really care about you, since the only time she leaves the hospital is to come see you. She's new to the current state of things but she still works that hard. I can see why you love her so much Shirogane. I wish I had someone like that."

Roll up? Is she… in a wheelchair? An image flashes through my head. Seeing Sumika crushed under the basketball hoop… Is this…? No, it can't be! That timeline is supposed to have been reconstructed! It can't be that! I'm going to risk another non-question, though I don't think it's that subtle this time…

"Yea… I just hope she gets better."

"Didn't you say the doctor said she was permanently paralyzed from the neck down?"

What!? Why!? What happened!? It can't be…!?

 _"Her head happened to be right between two of the steel bars... they said it was a miracle. She would've died instantly if it'd been a few centimeters to one side."_

No… no… Please, god, no…! This is that world, isn't it!? Why!? Why am I here!?

Tears start to build in my eyes, and one rolls down my left cheek. I can't suppress it. I can't stop. When it comes to Sumika, I can't help myself. I already watched her die today, why the hell do I have to know she's suffering now!? Why!? God damn it, this hurts too much! This wasn't supposed to happen! Things aren't supposed to be like this!

"Hey Shirogane… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. That was pretty goddamn insensitive of me, wasn't it?" Macen says, frowning when he sees the tear and scratching his head in frustration. I successfully wipe my tears away and finally suppress my urge to cry. Though, the pain doesn't go anywhere… "Let's drop it for now. I… have to get back on patrol anyways."

"It's okay Macen. I know you meant well." I say.

"It's still fresh and this is a lot to deal with for a guy as young as you are. I get it. Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll make sure she's double-booked when she comes to visit today. So don't feel too bad. I'm sure you'll feel better once you talk to her. She's definitely the type of girl who puts on a smile no matter what she's going through."

Wow… even in this world, she's stronger than I am. It really shows how weak I was all along. Guess I shouldn't be surprised, after seeing what she did with her memories gone… Even as I am now, I'm still probably weaker than she is. I decide to thank him, because he seems to be a pretty swell guy overall. Certainly not what I'd expect from a prison guard. Maybe I'm just stereotyping though.

"Thanks Macen. I'll make sure to return the favor one of these days."

"God damn Shirogane, this is the type of stuff that really makes me wonder how the hell you ended up in here. Not only are you way too scrawny to beat a guy within an inch of his life, but you're a pretty nice guy too… Hm…"

He must be talking about the security guard at the college. I broke a few of his bones… no wonder I'm in prison. The fact that he thinks I'm a nice guy despite that is pretty interesting though. I was so mean to Sumika back at this point in my life… maybe the me that's here has had to do a bit of growing ever since… I'm such a horrible person. This life must be torture for him. It's unfair that he had to learn this way. It's just... too cruel.

That does leave me with a question however, why is this security guard so interested in me at all?

"Hey, Macen, can I ask you a weird question?" I decide to just ask. It shouldn't be too suspicious an inquiry.

"Sure Shirogane, shoot."

"Are we… friends?"

"I consider us to be, yea. You're the most civilized person here. I like talking to you. Besides, I'm a softie at heart. I couldn't let you suffer all that stuff you're going through alone. I'm glad I decided to believe what you said when you told me you didn't do what they said you did. We'll go and get drinks once you get out of here, alright?"

Geez, this guy really is a good person. To think he'd go to such lengths for a prisoner… I need to ask him one more question before he books it.

"Thanks, I'll hold you to that. By the way…"

"Shirogane, I need to get back onto patrol. I really am sticking around a bit too long. It's okay once in a while but we had a talk like this just two days ago."

"Sorry, I just wanted to know the date today. It's hard to keep track in here without a calendar."

"It's New Years Shirogane, duh. January 1st. Guess it is pretty hard to keep track in here though, haha! Now remember, Kagami should be here to see you in a couple hours so make sure you got a smile when she shows up. It's a holiday, so you better make her happy. Got it?"

"Got it. I'll let you go now."

"And here I thought you were the prisoner here. See ya."

I chuckle uncomfortably along with him as he leaves. The second his footsteps are out of earshot, I put everything I just learned aside and rush for the sink. Undoing the last two screws doesn't take long and I successfully remove the cover. Good, that wasn't too hard, and screwing it back on will be much faster.

I place it quietly on the ground before running back to my bed, retrieving the gun and the armored suit, and pushing them inside the cover before heaving it back into place against the wall. I'm worried that someone will come around, so I hurry as I put the screws back into place. And now that both of those things are nice and hidden, I'll be safe from suspicion. Well, for now at least.

I return to my cot and lie down, staring silently at the ceiling.

I'm scared to see the Sumika of this world. I'm guilty for how she is now… It's going to hurt, and I'm already feeling so much pain already from the people I lost, and the person I killed… And… I'm angry too. That I'm here in this world, that this world even still exists… It wasn't supposed to be this way. I don't care what it takes, even if it means I never get to go home, I need to make this right. I can't stand to have Sumika be like this, and I can't tolerate Marimo being dead… I can't stand this miserable world that I created. I can't stand that ever since this started, things have never gone right for me, and no matter what I do to try and atone I still end up hurting others and I still end up getting hurt. I thought I paid back my debts before, but it turns out I'm still just at square one…

God damn it! Every problem just leads to another one!

Ugh, I shouldn't spend so much time feeling sorry for myself. If I do that there's definitely no way I'll be able to smile when Sumika shows up. I need to be able to do that. If not to respect the lessons I was taught, then to pay back the debt it turns out I still owe her… for making her like this…

I guess I'll sleep for now. There's nothing else to do but read that letter. And… I'm not in the mood. I'm carrying enough sadness for now. I'm sorry Tama, I promise I'll read it eventually… I'm not hesitating or rethinking my decision, I swear. I just don't want to be distracted by so much junk when I'm supposed to be thinking about how you felt. I owe it to you to take your letter seriously. Since… you obviously felt so strongly that even though you said you wouldn't write a will, you still wrote something.

I am… really tired. I don't remember the last time I slept. I mean, I fell unconscious before, but that wasn't sleeping. I'm a bit scared to sleep. I'm a bit scared of what I'll see when I do. But, I can't let that hold me back from getting the rest I so obviously need. I'm glad that my eyes are already heavy… or this might be difficult… but luckily, it's not, and I fall right to…

* * *

"Hey, Shirogane, wake the hell up buddy. She's here to see you." My eyes suddenly shoot open. The light outside the window is orange now, so it's obviously evening. I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep. At the very least… I'm glad that I didn't dream, even with all that was on my mind. I guess I was too tired for that. I'm still tired, but at least my body feels a bit lighter now. "Damn it Shirogane, you really need to stop spacing out like an idiot."

I sit up. Macen is standing outside the cell with a frown, the door already open and his nightstick drawn.

"Is that really necessary?" I wonder as I stand up, letting out a quick yawn.

"It's protocol. Are you going to ask me that every time I come to get you? It's getting old."

"Sorry."

"You sure are apologizing a lot today."

…I don't know how to respond to that.

"What are you waiting for? Come on." He says.

"Oh, right. It's just… I'm nervous, I guess."

I stand up and walk over to him. I think I let him know a bit too much there. To be honest… I am really nervous. I'm hoping that I'm able to greet her with a smile. And I'm sure there are other reasons… My hands aren't shaking or anything silly like that, at least. I'm too well trained to let my nerves show that easily.

"Yo, Shirogane, give me your hands. The hell is up with you? Get a grip."

"Oh, yea..."

I raise my hands up. I almost put them over my head, but then I realize he lowered his nightstick and took out a pair of handcuffs so I let them rest around my waist. He grabs them and attaches the handcuffs. He even leaves them loose so they aren't uncomfortable. If it were anyone else but this guy, I'd think he was incompetent. As it is, he gives me a light push in order to guide me, and leaves his hand on my shoulder as we move. The hallway is much brighter than my cell, so I squint for a bit before I get used to the light. This place is quieter than I expected a prison to be… maybe because I'm young and it was my first offense, they didn't put me with the hardened criminals. Huh, come to think of it, I was probably expelled…

I really piled so much on this guy… He may be another me, but if I were him I'd never forgive someone who'd done things like this to him. I turned his entire life upside-down… I should stay away from thoughts like that though. I don't… want to think badly of Sumika because of what she did to me by making me a causality conductor. It's not like she did it on purpose. She was just in so much pain, and she wanted someone to help make it stop. I... understand that feeling all too well. Everyone has a breaking point, even the strongest people there are.

"Hey Shirogane, not been sleeping well, huh?" Macen asks. "That's not the first time I've seen you sleeping during the day."

"Uh… it's kinda boring here. And I have a lot to think about."

"Yea, I understand. But you should really start going to the rec room and make some friends or something. You're not going to survive in here if you keep that up. Don't make it so I'm your only friend here."

"Well, this is a prison, I can't imagine the conversation is very good."

"Haha! Don't forget that this is a pretty low-security prison. Considering what happened to the other guy... I'm surprised you landed here. Anyways, the people here aren't so bad."

"That makes sense. I doubt you would talk to me otherwise."

"Hey, that's not true. I'd talk to any guy I see crying like you were. It was too painful to just watch. You really are just a kid, after all… Oh, and by the way, I got a surprise! It's a holiday so I managed to get the visitors cafeteria open for you. You can actually touch her today and talk to her without those windows in the way! Eat a meal too! I called your girlfriend and she said she's bringing you something to eat."

"Wow, thanks, I can't imagine that was easy."

How did a guy this good-spirited become a prison guard? I know I'm stereotyping again, but geez.

"It usually takes months of good behavior, but the warden owed me a favor. Saved him from some crazy guy that went on a rampage a few months back. He almost got stabbed, probably saved his life."

"You… spent that on me?"

"No, I spent it on a nice girl who's going through a lot of pain. So if you don't make her happy by the time she leaves, I'm going to kick your ass."

"G-Got it." I doubt he could manage it with how strong I am, but... if I did that I definitely wouldn't defend myself.

"You better. Now, why don't you get back to thinking until we get there? You're good at spacing out so it shouldn't be too difficult to think about what you're going to say and do."

Hm… I don't know how this Sumika feels right now. I want to do the best I can for her, considering…

It's just too bad that I can't just build this entire visit around making her happy. It's dangerous for me to be here. Things didn't start happening for days last time I came, so I doubt my causality conductor will hurt her, but it will if I stick around too long. I'm just hoping she doesn't lose any memories. She's my only contact with the outside world. I need to get her to tell Yuuko-sensei to come visit me, ASAP, so there's no choice but to talk with her. And… I want to talk to her anyways… to apologize for what I've done to her.

She did bring me something to eat. I can't imagine she cooked it without use of her arms and legs… but… I'm sure it'll make her happy to just eat with her. I'll save the serious talk until the end. I'm the one who did this to her, so I can't make her sad. I absolutely can't. Especially with all Macen has done to help me. I barely know this guy, but I don't think even the most dense person in the world could mistake him for a bad guy. I'm glad that at the very least, the me I tortured and left behind had a friend… I've hurt him just as much as anyone else around here.

"We're here."

I look up, there's a set of double doors and a sign that says "Visitor's Cafeteria" along the top.

"She's in there waiting for you. It's too bad you only have your prison uniform but I know your parents wouldn't drop you off any clothes even if you asked." Macen says as he removes my handcuffs. "I doubt she cares about what you're wearing anyways. Just make her happy, alright?"

"I-I'll do that." I respond absent-mindedly. My heart is beating so hard, I might as well be in a fight with the BETA. No, piloting a TSF in battle is much easier than this… Not like I'd run away from either at this point.

With the handcuffs off, I head through the doors and into the visitor's cafeteria. There are a number of prisoners around me celebrating with friends and loved ones. A father embracing a son. Lovers locked in a kiss. Friends laughing at jokes. Sweeping my eyes quietly across all of those things, I walk slowly through the cafeteria, scanning the area for Sumika. I don't see her at first. The cafeteria isn't that big, so it shouldn't take me long.

Only, she finds me first, and that painfully familiar voice jumps out from behind me.

"Takeru-chan! Over here!"


	3. E11 - P3 - Unconditional Love

**MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

* * *

 **EPISODE 11: SELF IMPRISONMENT**

 **PART III: Unconditional Love**

* * *

I freeze. I have mentally prepared for this moment, but… I'm scared to turn around. I'm scared of what I'll see, or… I'm scared of what I'll do when I see it. I can't cry. I can't let that happen. Not when she's like this. Not when she's going through so much...

I take a deep breath, and turn around, forcing a smile onto my face. I hope she won't see through it to how I'm really feeling. I don't want her to see the weariness, the loss, the guilt... the pain which pales in comparison to hers. I would never forgive myself if I made her cry here.

The first person I see is Sumika's mother. She doesn't look much like her daughter, except for the eyes which bear a gaze filled with sadness. It would've been much easier if that gaze was filled with resentment… but I don't see any. Instead, it feels like I'm being silently pleaded for help by someone helpless. Pulling my eyes away is difficult as I lower my sight to fall onto Sumika. Her condition is a stab to my heart. She's in a wheelchair as expected, her arms resting at her side against the rests, and her legs hanging lazily down onto the pedals. Neither shows even the slightest sign of movement or life.

It takes everything I have not to react, not to lose my smile, not to let the tears come. Because of that I end up standing there in silence for a long moment. Staring at Sumika's face. She's wearing a warm smile. Her eyes don't show any sign of pain. I… want to embrace her so badly, but… I don't have the right.

She puffs up her cheeks suddenly after we wait in that moment of intense tension for several seconds. She speaks in that pouty voice I'm so familiar with.

"Takeru-chan, don't be mean. Say something!"

My knees are weak, but I step forward without hesitating.

"Sorry…" Is all I can manage. Sumika's wheelchair is at one of the tables, with the chair pulled out and pushed against the wall. "H-Hello there."

"Hello there? Hehe, silly Takeru-chan. It's New Year's so say Happy New Year's. Like this, Happy New Year's Takeru-chan!" She's giggling just like normal. She's talking like nothing is wrong. How… can she do that so easily? How is she able to put on such a convincing smile when she must be in so much pain? "Hey mom, can you put it on the table? I want to be alone with Takeru-chan."

"Of course. Here you go honey." The woman doesn't hesitate, focus hitting her eyes the second her daughters request gets to her. She places a few bags on the table, bends down to kiss her daughter on the forehead while brushing the bangs from Sumika's eyes, and then walks a short distance away to sit in a free chair and watch silently.

Damn it, why can I still not say anything? She's going through so much worse, and yet she's still trying to make me feel better...

"Are you going to smile like that forever? I don't want you to force yourself, you know." Sumika says. She has a very kind smile when she says it, it's one her mother wore when Sumika and I were kids quite often.

"Sorry, H-Happy New Year's. I'm just… happy to see you." Of course, my happiness is far superseded by my pain and guilt, but at least that's not a lie. Still, she frowns.

"I know you are, but I also know this is hard for you, Takeru-chan…"

"It's no comparison to how you're feeling. Saying I'm having a hard time…? If I could say something like that, that would just be me being selfish."

"Why can't we both be hurting?" She wonders. I look up at her, mouth open, trying to say something in response. I don't have one. She drops her smile. Her face looks tired. "I've been hurting too, but… the diaries make it much easier. If anything, you have it harder than I do. You must be so lonely in here. Everyone comes to see me every day and I get to go back through so many happy memories."

"The… diaries…?"

"Yep! I'm really glad I kept them. I didn't think I would be so glad to have my memories taken away, but it actually makes things easier!" She says that with a bright, beaming, and completely sincere smile. I guess… it makes sense that her memories would still be gone after I left. I can't imagine that was easy on her, or the other me. "When my mom reads my diaries back to me, I get to relive all of my favorite memories of you Takeru-chan! It really comes back to me when I read them. I remember all the details of how I was feeling and everything! It always feels like I was just there…"

Wow, really? Does that mean… she's drawing them back here somehow? The other Sumika had those memories, but now that she's dead I guess this Sumika can get them back. I wasn't under the impression that my conductor went two ways. Maybe she's able to do it by the pressure of her own will alone? Knowing that she's even slowly regaining the half of her identity she lost… makes me really happy. I remember when I came here before, and I felt like I could be okay with everything as long as she didn't forget me.

It still hurts to see Sumika in a wheelchair. And, she even admitted that she was hurting, but… if she can still be this happy, maybe this world isn't so bad… I think I could live with it. It would even be appropriate for me in a way. I failed to protect her in the other world, but here… I could work hard to provide for her. We could be together, and I could help her get used to the pain of how she is now. Marimo is still gone. I know that. I feel guilt for that, and the way Sumika is. But if I can repay those debts by taking care of Sumika, maybe that would be for the best.

"You look really tired Takeru-chan." Sumika says sadly, her ahoge drooping.

"Damn, sorry, I spaced out…" I reply, as I finally curve my lips up into a real smile. That was clearly a good line of thought for me. I'm still uneasy, but I feel a bit better now. I know I shouldn't get lost in a dream like that. I can't stay here. I would just get hurt more. I would just hurt more people. But… it helps me, so I decide to indulge in it anyways.

"It's okay. It looked like you were thinking about something important." She says, bending her lips upward into a warm smile of her own. "And… I like seeing your real smile."

"Sorry it was hidden until now. I should've come to grips with all this before I came."

"That's okay Takeru-chan. As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"So, I heard you brought some food for me?" I wonder, sitting up in my chair and looking directly across the table.

"I brought it for _us_ Takeru-chan. Don't be greedy, stupid."

"Haha, sorry for being stupid. You can just give me a drill milky pu-" I stop myself, frowning. "…sorry."

"It's okay Takeru-chan. You can give yourself one for me."

I punch myself lightly on the side of the face with a tired smile. She giggles a bit. She really… seems happy. I feel warm. At peace. When… was the last time I felt like this? It may just be a dream I'm living in, but even if it's weakness… I'm going to let myself have it for a bit longer. I'll put all of the pain behind me for just a little bit. I'm sure everyone wouldn't mind me running away for a little bit… as long as I come back.

"Oh, I'm being an idiot." I realize while spacing out like that. Sumika can't take out the food by herself. I reach for the first bag and look inside, it's… a few of her diaries. I pause in thought for a moment.

"That's the wrong bag. The food is in the other one."

"If it's okay, can I ask you why you brought these?" I ask out of pure curiosity, as I pick one up and smile at it. It's a bit strange. "Oh, crap, sorry. I forgot… I'm not allowed to read these."

"You are now Takeru-chan. That's why I brought them with me. I want you… to read them to me." She blushes and averts her gaze nervously. It makes sense. She can't exactly turn the pages on her own. She said her mom reads them to her, but a lot of these are our shared memories. It makes sense that she'd want me to read them to her.

"Okay, but let's eat first." I reply, placing the diary back inside the bag as I reach for the other one. I dig inside and retrieve boxes of take-out. Or… wait, no. The boxes are from a restaurant, but looking through the transparent covers, the food is home-cooked. Huh… I wonder if Kyousuka-oba-chan is serving anything for Sumika and the others back in that world. I hope Akane and Munakata are doing well... they're all that's left now.

Anyways, it's just basic stuff like Miso, so it's nothing special, but… home-cooked sounds really good right now. I wonder who made it…

"My mom cooked it." Sumika says as if reading my mind. "But I was there! I told her exactly what to do, so it's still my cooking!"

"That's good. I miss eating your food. It's the best." I tell her. Her face turns red in an instant.

"Thanks, Takeru-chan…"

"You know there was this one time when Meiya tried to cook…" I remember it clearly. Seeing her face covered with soot when she tried to see me. Stuffing down the rice balls she made for me so it would cheer her up. "I had trouble sleeping for like three days because I just kept hearing explosions from the kitchen all the time. And Tsukuyomi wouldn't let me see what was going on..."

Wow, how did that just happen? I remembered Meiya, and… it didn't hurt. Sumika… you really are amazing.

"Oh, you don't know, huh…?" Sumika wonders mournfully.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I ask as I start opening up the boxes of food and spreading them out on the table.

"Meiya left." She says. Thinking back, I remember that she had to leave… something about a promise I hadn't remembered in time. It's kind of vague. A lot of my original memories are, except for my memories of Sumika. "She left yesterday. She said something about a promise you didn't remember in time. She had a deal with her father to enter an arranged marriage if you didn't remember… that you promised to marry her a long time ago."

"Oh, I see... I feel bad for Meiya, but… I wouldn't have been able to keep that promise anyways. I love you Sumika." I say that casually and without thinking, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. It strikes me how easy it is this time, or at least it does until…

"S-S-S-Stupid Takeru-chan!" Sumika yells at me at the top of her lungs. My ears feel like they're ringing as the entire cafeteria goes quiet and turns to look at us. Sumika's face is beet red in embarrassment as the guards look at her, clearly annoyed. Her mother comes to the rescue and abandons looking at us to go remedy the situation. Everyone else in the cafeteria turns away. I hear a few chuckling people close by as I condemn her.

"Sumika, calm down! Are you trying to get yourself kicked out?"

"S-S-Sorry. But, Takeru-chan, don't say that so casually! How am I supposed to react to that!? You said it like it was obvious and… and… what do I say now!? Oh no…!"

Shit, I guess the Shirogane in this world hasn't confessed to her yet. Of course, he might have and she's still awkward about it. I have to avoid asking about that… Wait, what if this world's Shirogane likes someone else? Ugh. It's too late to back off now. What a stupid mistake, but I'll have to play it out.

"You could say the same thing back..." I reply. My face is probably a bit red, but I… honestly don't really find it that embarrassing anymore to tell her how I feel. Only the first time is hard I guess. After that, it pretty much comes naturally. At least for me. "If you feel the same way, I mean…"

"O-Okay. I… I… I love you too, Takeru-chan…" Her face is still red, but she seems really happy when she says it.

"See, that wasn't so hard was it?"

"T-Tak-!" I realize what she's going to do very quickly, and run around the table to clasp my hand on her mouth before she can scream. Phew… close save. Though, her face is even redder now… and I just put my hand in front of her mouth. Oh crap.

I try to pull away, but it's too late and she bites me. Hard.

"Ow…!" I say, gritting my teeth and pulling away. The tooth marks are imprinted on my skin but there's no blood at least. "That hurt, you know!"

"You deserved it. Stupid Takeru-chan… You don't understand girls at all."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" I say. She's being unbelievably adorable right now to be honest, but I'm afraid if I say that she'll freak out again, so I keep the compliment in. "Let's eat now."

"Okay~!" Sumika replies, a bright smile on her face as her embarrassment fades away. I finish taking out all the food and seek out a pair of chopsticks. Hm… can't find any. I can't even find a spoon for the soup. "Takeru-chan, they wouldn't let us bring in any outside utensils. You're going to have to get some. They have some up at the serving desk."

"Oh, okay. I'll be right back." I reply, standing up and heading for desk. It's protected by a bulletproof window and food is pushed through a slot. The utensils are available from a dispenser, so at least I don't have to wait in line to get some… huh? Who is that at the serving desk? She looks familiar.

It can't be. Except it is. My eyes find… Kyousuka-oba-chan. She's serving up at the desk with the same warm and motherly smile as always. According to her apron, it seems she's a volunteer here. That makes me smile a bit, but I decide not to go to speak to her as I retrieve plastic spoons and plastic chopsticks from the utensil dispenser before returning to Sumika. Still, it's nice to know that the people I saw in the other world are here too. When I get back to my world, maybe I can see if that restaurant I remember her talking about exists there too…

Anyways, when I get back, I try to hand Sumika her own utensils… only to stop myself.

"Ah, damn it, I'm being stupid again." I say quietly to myself.

"Hehe, it's okay. But, um, you're… going to have to feed me Takeru-chan."

"Wh-What!? Wouldn't you um… rather have… your mom do it?" I ask. Okay, now I'm embarrassed.

"But, I came here to see you, and I wanna be alone with you…" Sumika says, eyes downcast and face red.

"Oh, a-alright." I say, sitting down in the seat next to her. "So, I've never done this before, so… just tell me if I mess up."

"Hehe, I'm just happy you want to feed me."

"It's not like I ever didn't want to. Like I said, I lo-" I stop myself. I don't want her to freak out again, there's still something important for us to talk about… "Sorry."

"It's okay." She says, blushing heavily again. "The first time was just surprising is all. I can handle it now."

"I see. A-Anyways… open wide…" Taking a piece of food in-between one of the pairs of plastic chopsticks, I lift them up to her mouth. Red as she is, she opens her mouth and leans her head forward, using her supposedly paralyzed neck, to eat the piece of food. "Did you just…?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? The doctors Meiya got for me managed to fix my neck a bit. They've been running a bunch of experimental treatments on me too."

"Oh, I see."

"Look at my hand Takeru-chan." She says. I do what she asks, and I see her hand shaking a bit. "They say I should be able to use them again at some point in the next few years. I might even be able to move my entire arms in ten years! Apparently I'll never be quite how I used to, but with physical therapy I can get close."

Ten… years… Ten years. Just… to get back to… moving her arms? Am I stupid? Why… did I let myself into this dream…? I'm so selfish. Put my pain behind me? Run away for just a little bit? What a goddamn joke… This is all my fault. And… I'm putting her in danger again by keeping her here. By being close to her. I don't have any guarantees that it will work like last time, that she'll be safe for a day. What was I thinking? What if she…?

An image of the other Sumika, lying still on the 00 Unit control bed, dead, flashes through my head.

My hands start shaking. Tears start pouring out of my eyes.

"Takeru-chan? What's wrong?" Sumika wonders. "I'm going to be okay you know. You don't have to worry about me."

"I'm so sorry Sumika. I've been lying to you this whole time. Pretending I'm someone I'm not." I tell her, putting the utensils down on the table.

"Wait, do you mean, you're… the other one?"

"Huh? How do you know about that…?"

"Haha, I'm glad you're here! You were in my diaries." She says suddenly, smiling.

"What? If you know who I am, what I am, then how could you be happy? Don't you… don't you see what I did to you? You'll never be the same again. Marimo is dead. It's all my fault!"

"Yea, I know that, Takeru-chan… But, that's okay. I'm glad you're here because… I knew you'd be like this. Beating yourself up. So I was hoping I could see you again, so I could tell you that it's alright. I would say I forgive you, but… I never blamed you in the first place, you know? I'm sure sensei never did either."

"That doesn't matter." I tell her. "It doesn't change the fact that the entire reason you got hurt is because I'm a coward. I was a coward here too… pretending it was to make you happy when it was really just to make myself feel better."

"Takeru-chan, I remember the park. I remember the look on your face when you told me everything. You were in so much pain, and you're in even more pain now. How could anyone ever blame you for running away? For giving up? Anyone who could do that must be a really cold-hearted person. But… the reason I… I… I love you is _because_ you're the kind of person who would run away when it came down to it. Because, it means you're kind, and you really care about other people. So much that seeing so much suffering hurts you even more than it hurt them. So, how could I blame you?"

"How do you…?"

"I told you earlier. I've been reading my diaries, and the memories came back. I told the other Takeru-chan about them, you know? He was sad and really angry at first. But, last time I saw him, he said that he understood after thinking about it… and he couldn't blame you either. He also told me to thank you for making him see how he felt, if you ever came back."

Did he mean… for making him see how he felt about Sumika…?

"Takeru-chan, can you put your hand on mine for a second?" She asks. I comply without thinking, placing my hand on top of hers. It starts shaking as Sumika works to… slowly… turn it over. She grunts with the effort, but she manages it… leaving our palms touching each other. "Do you see now? I'll be okay. I even have the other Takeru-chan with me to help. And, even if I never walk again, if he feels the same way about me that I do about him, then it was worth it. I'm pretty sure that's what he meant about making him see how he felt. I think he wants to wait until he gets out of jail to confess, though I wish he would just hurry up…"

"I see…" I say. I feel an enormous weight taken off of me. No matter what, I'll still be guilty, for Sumika's injury and Marimo's murder. But… I'm glad that my visit did at least some good, amongst all the bad. I'm glad I brought some happiness along with all of the pain. "Sumika, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to cut this short."

"Oh… do you really have to leave?"

"I don't want to end up hurting you again."

"Okay… I understand. Are you… going back to the other world again?"

"No. Or, at least, maybe but not yet. There's… something I need to ask you before I leave."

"Yuuko-sensei isn't in jail, if that's what you're wondering." Sumika says. "Am I right?"

"Yea…" I say.

"Oh, so you need her help to go back again? I understand. She told me that if you ever came back to call her right away."

"I'm sorry… I might… have to get this Takeru in trouble again…" I say, clutching my fists with guilt as I realize that it's unlikely I'd be able to make my way back from inside prison. That would mean… I need to escape.

"I understand…"

"I promise. I'll fix this cruel world you have to live in. I'll undo my mistakes and bring Marimo back. I'll get you out of that wheelchair. I'll do whatever it takes. No matter how long it takes."

"Thank you Takeru-chan."

I stand up, and start to leave. Sumika stops me.

"Hey, wait."

I turn back around.

"I'm sorry. I can't eat with you." I tell her in a determined voice. "I don't know what will happen to you if I stay with you too long. I'm not getting you hurt again!"

"I understand, but there's one thing I want you to do before you leave."

"What… is it…?" I ask.

"Um… sorry… this is really embarrassing… give me a sec…" She says, closing her eyes as her face flushes for the… actually I've lost count. Though, it kind of makes me happy I can get that reaction so easily. This feels like a much better way of teasing her than hitting her ever did. I really was a bastard… "Takeru-chan, when… this happened to me. Or, I mean, right before. There was an entry at the end of my diary. Do you… know what it said?"

I close my eyes for a second to think. It comes back to me pretty easily.

 _And right at the end… something amazing happened!_

 _One of my wishes was granted!_

 _Takeru-chan kissed me! Twice!_

 _I've never been so happy before. I'm absolutely not going to forget that. I'm not going to forget it right after it happened._

"Wasn't it… the kiss?"

"Y-Yes." Sumika says. "Um… I was never able to remember that one. So… can you…?"

I don't hesitate. I can't do that anymore. I walk over to her, lean my head a bit to the side, bend down, and press my lips against hers. Her head jumps back for a moment, but I press forward ignoring her surprise. Though, she quickly stops resisting and kisses me back. I try to remember how I did it the first time so I can replicate the experience as much as possible. I mess up, and the kiss becomes a lot more intense than last time, so we have to come up to breathe much faster.

"Whoa…" Sumika says. "Th-th-"

As she tries to thank me, I press our faces together again. It was twice the first time after all, though to be honest this time I'm doing it a second time more to tease her than anything. I can't help but want to tease her I guess. When we come out of it this time, she seems positively dazed, but very happy. Until she puffs up her cheeks.

"Stupid Takeru-chan." She says. "You did that to tease me didn't you?"

Damn, she realized what I was doing. Looking up, I also see her mother. She looks shocked, happy, and pissed off all at the same time. Scary combination…

"Well, it's okay. It made me really happy. Thank you." Sumika continues, bringing my attention back to her. I nod, stand up, and turn to walk away, though I look back when she says one last thing. "Takeru-chan…"

"Yes?"

"I hope the other me… helps to make you feel better about yourself. So you can laugh again."

I smile, nod, and walk away. An unfamiliar guard returns me to my cell. When I sit on my cot and sigh, my eyes are drawn to the bedside table. There are a ton of letters there. I bet they're from Sumika. I really should have read those before going to see her… but I guess it doesn't matter now. I reach over and pick one up.

 _Hello Takeru-chan, you'll never believe what happened to me today! I managed to make my hand shake when I tried to move it! It's embarrassing to admit, but I cried when that happened. I was so happy. It makes me really happy that Meiya came. Without her, I might never be able to cook for you again. That would make me really sad…_

I stop reading there and look at the other letters. There's a ton, and as I expected, they're all from Sumika. The silly girl writes to me every single day. Though, the handwriting isn't hers. It must be her mom's. I can't imagine how difficult things are for her either… It'll be years before her parents are ever allowed to take another trip. One of them probably has to stay home to watch Sumika every single day, so that can't be good for their jobs either. Well, it's okay… I'll fix that anyways, so there's no problem. Though, she's probably still stuck on me kissing Sumika right about now.

I touch my own lips with my fingers. I still have a slight feeling of Sumika's lips there. Her smell and taste are both fresh in my mind. I recall them happily, but I'm careful not to indulge too long. If I did that I'd just be burying myself in a dream again, bringing myself to thinking I can stay here with this Sumika even if she isn't mine. I can't do that.

Still, I can at least play back through the memories of the rest of the lunch in my head. I'm not going to dream about staying in this world anymore, but I can at least use the happiness I got from it to keep me going. To keep me determined not to fail. I guess I never noticed before, but if I'm in a bad spot and I feel like I'm about to run away, if I think about something happy… a memory that I enjoy… I can always keep going.

Thanks for teaching me something new Sumika. Guess an old dog can learn new tricks after all. If I just keep feeling down on myself, then I'll probably break. Everyone has a breaking point, even someone who was already broken and put back together again like I was…

I've flipped through so many emotional states recently... Guess I'm really not having an easy time of things. But, even though I lost a lot, I also gained a bit too. Like some important proof. I think it's important that I have that proof. Proof that I still have more growing to do. If I didn't have it, I'd just stay the same, and if I did that I'd never be able to fix anything. I'd never be able to move forward.

"Hey, Shirogane, the hell are you doing here?" Macen's at the cell door leaning against it again.

"Oh, hey there Macen. Uh… she had to go somewhere. It was an emergency."

"Haha, I know. Just screwing with you. She gave one of the guards something to give you before she left. I brought it for you."

"Huh?"

He drops a small box to the floor gently and then pushes it past the bars with his foot. It's one of the food containers from earlier, now that I look at it.

"If a girl cooks for you, you gotta eat it all." He says.

"I see. Thanks Macen."

"I'm glad to see you're feeling a bit better about yourself now, so no thanks necessary. I don't regret getting you that cafeteria visit one bit, even if it was cut pretty short. I'll make sure to try and get it again since you didn't take much of the time."

"Thanks. You're a good man."

"Don't get all serious on me Shirogane, it's embarrassing and not very manly."

"It's hard not to comment on the obvious I guess. My bad."

"Anyways, I can't stay. I couldn't get any utensils for you but the food should still be good with your hands. Make sure you're done by lights out, okay?"

"Will do."

"See ya later."

"Bye."

He leaves, so I go and pick up the package of food and watch as Macen walks away. I sit down on the bed and start eating. It's messy as hell, but it's also totally worth it. I can tell Sumika didn't cook it, but I can also feel her heart in it. It uses all the same ingredients she would…

With that, I relax and remember my own Sumika. All of the good times I can, and with that… I'm at peace. For now, peace… is a nice feeling to have. I know it won't last long, and I know I can't keep it when I go to a place where I can't let my guard down, but I'm going to take it here while I can. It's been a long time since I could rest like this, after all. I think… I've been a different kind of tired for a really long time. I've been mentally worn down and I haven't rested that part of myself in what must be years. So it's good to have figured that out so I can do it now, and maybe eventually… I can reconnect a bit with the old me I've left behind. The one from my original world. The student of Hakuryo who still hadn't really figured out where he wanted to go in life.

I know I'll never be that person again. I wouldn't even want to be. I could never stand for being that weak. But… I think I've lost some good things too. Important things.

" _Only you can answer that question… but, in my opinion, you have lost something valuable that the others would not have wanted you to lose."_

I'm gonna have to figure out what Kasumi was talking about back there. It'll probably be hard, but if I don't find it, then I think even my own Sumika would eventually come to hate me for taking away the Takeru Shirogane she fell in love with. So… I'll try and find that, and those other things I lost, all over again.

I just hope that while I'm trying to find myself, that she can be a bit patient with me...


	4. E11 - P4 - Quantum Causality Theory

**MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

* * *

 **EPISODE 11: SELF IMPRISONMENT**

 **PART IV: Quantum Causality Theory**

* * *

The night was uncharacteristically peaceful for me. Ever since the first BETA attack in the other world, I don't remember a single night where I didn't go to sleep with a tense feeling in my chest. A sort of… tightness in my heart. I don't remember a single night where I went to sleep feeling completely safe. It's tough to feel secure when you feel like something can go horrendously wrong at any time…

But sleeping after eating the meal provided by Sumika and having a shower was nice. I expected them to be the communal showers you see in prisons on TV, but it turns out there are stalls here. I must've really lucked out getting placed here. I know I'm young, but I'm still an adult... Well, that doesn't matter. The point is that throughout the night, I was relaxed and I didn't have any nightmares. Just pleasant dreams of my past life. The one back in my own world. Memories of a lot of times I spent having fun with Sumika when we were younger. When they were over, I was sad to see them go, but I woke up feeling more refreshed and alert than I have in what feels like years. And in keeping with me having a good time, it took no time at all for a certain visitor to show up.

Just a few hours after breakfast…

"Hey, Shirogane, some woman is here to see you." Macen says. "Says her name is Yuuko Kouzuki. You know, isn't that…?"

"Yea, she was the one who got caught with me." I say.

"I remember you said you were wondering if she brainwashed you. I saw her… suspicious lady."

"Uh… regardless, I'll see her. Nothing to lose, right?"

"Yea… I suppose."

With that, we ran the same song and dance as the previous day, and I was soon on the way down the long hallways wearing handcuffs. They were loose like before. It was convenient to have Macen take me everywhere. It's always better having a friend around. It certainly fills what would otherwise just be a long silence where the prying eyes of other prisoners would fall on me.

"So, why'd you say she was suspicious?" I wonder as we walk. It's kind of weird, but the gaze of the other prisoners even in this low-security prison makes me uneasy. I'm not used to having so many human beings looking at me with such indifference. That must sound pretty arrogant, but anyways... the question I asked is kind of a rhetorical one. I think everyone would agree with Macen's assessment after a few minutes talking to the woman. Yuuko-sensei is definitely "suspicious", and that's only putting it lightly. I've worked with her for years and I still feel uncomfortable around her. She still feels strange and alien. Though, at the very least, I don't hate the Yuuko-sensei here like I do the one in my own universe. At least she has some semblance of morals, and I don't think she'd have ever used Marimo's life as a tool...

"Uh, well, other than what you've told me about her… she's quirky, to say the least. I only talked to her for a few minutes and I felt like she was running circles around me. I asked about her relationship with you, and she said something weird about how she's a genius and you're her slave assistant. I think she was messing with me though."

I snort derisively before responding.

"Ha, sounds like her. Though I think 'mildly insane' is a better description than 'quirky'. Don't get it wrong though, she's not lying about being a genius. I know that first hand…"

"That so…?" He trails off as we reach the visitors area. "They do say that there's not much of a difference between genius and insanity. You can tell me all about it later, I guess."

"You already know everything about her I'm capable of understanding as far as I'm concerned." I tell him with a bit of a smile as he removes my handcuffs and hits the red button.

"Shirogane here to see Kouzuki." Macen says, prompting the buzzer to go off and the door to unlock. "Well, regardless, good luck in there. You're at the fourth booth. You have an hour. I'll be waiting out here, so just knock on the door when you're ready to leave."

"Thanks." I reply with a nod as I open the door and step inside. Within, there's a long hallway with two guards watching at the opposite ends, and with the door behind me being the only exit. As the door shuts, I hear the tumbler of a lock fall into place. It's not like I can go back until this is done anyways...

More doors lead off into booths on the left. I find the fourth door and step inside to see Yuuko-sensei waiting for me on the opposite side of a glass window, inspecting her nails and waiting with the phone on her side resting casually on her shoulder. I close the door behind me and step forward, grabbing the phone on my side off of the right wall. She looks up instantly, and narrows her eyes once she sees my face.

"Good morning Yuuko-sensei." I say wearily as I set myself down in the chair and lean forward. "I'm back again…"

"I can see that. Though, I don't understand why. Why would you come back…? You know what will happen don't you?"

"I didn't choose to come here." I reply, curling my lips into a frown. I focus my gaze on hers to show her I'm serious. "I called you to figure out why the hell I _am_ here."

"Well, to figure that one out, I'm gonna need to know what happened." She responds, equaling my gaze with her own. "Did you find Kagami like I told you?"

"First things first, why am I locked up and you're not?" I'm just too curious to let it fall to the wayside. I know I got locked up for assault, but she was there too...

"I was only convicted with trespassing. You were convicted with assault. I paid the fine and bail, so I'm out now. Now what's the answer to my question?"

"The answer is yes, I did… almost as soon as I got back in fact. Lots of stuff happened after that. But, to make a long story short, it turned out it was her that was making me into a causality conductor."

Her eyes lift up a bit with that revelation.

"How…?"

"I hope you're not asking because you're curious." I say, leaning back and looking into her surprised expression neutrally.

"That's a bit hypocritical."

"Yea, but at least I'm not doing it to play around."

She grins in response to that one.

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself." She leans back as well. "So… if you didn't choose to come here, can I assume that Kagami is gone now?"

With a sigh, I close my eyes and nod.

"After she died, I disappeared from that world and showed up here. As far as I understand, that wasn't supposed to happen."

"It's certainly not what I expected. But, the quantum causality theory is just a theory. Inevitably, some things aren't going to be right."

I open my eyes again, set my mouth in a thin line, and narrow my own eyes.

"Then you have to figure out what's wrong fast. Who knows what will happen if I stay here?"

"Actually, I don't expect anything would happen at all." Yuuko says confidently, pondering by leaning into the table and putting her face on top of her fist. I cock my head to the side in confusion.

"Huh? But won't I…?"

"If whatever made you a causality conductor is gone, then the pipe I explained to you before is essentially shut. If that's right, you're harmless."

"But if I'm really not a causality conductor anymore, shouldn't this timeline have been reconstructed back to the state it was in before I interfered? Shouldn't I have returned to the date when I was pulled back from my own timeline?"

"That was the theory…"

"Was the theory wrong then!?" I ask, angrily sitting forward. "…sorry."

"It's alright. As for your question, hm… I don't think it was wrong. Rather, I think I missed something when I was thinking through this scenario."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When you looped, you created new branches of that world. I was foolish and thought you just overwrote what was already there by traveling back in time…" Yuuko explains. "The other me came to the same conclusion, guess that's just another thing I should've questioned. Either way, it's most definitely my mistake."

"What's that have to do with anything? I know, you said both were possibilities, but even if that's the case, then why…?" It dawned on me as I was talking. "You don't mean… But then… why would I end up here?"

She smirked and leaned back in her chair.

"Why don't you explain your thoughts on my quantum causality theory, Shirogane style."

"The other you made that joke already."

"Ha, hopefully I'm just being unoriginal and you haven't drawn a memory from her. I mean, I don't see how the pipeline would've been reversed. Maybe if…"

"Um…"

"Ignore that. Just say what you were going to say."

I lean back in my chair, close my eyes, and gather my thoughts.

"Well, it doesn't explain why I ended up here, but it does explain why I'm still a causality conductor…" I say as my musings become a cohesive whole in my mind. Yuuko-sensei remains quiet, that curious smirk still on her face when I open my eyes. I really wish she wouldn't look at me like that. "Um… well… if the other branches of that world exist, wouldn't each one have its own Sumika?"

Her smirk turns into a genuine smile. That encourages me to continue.

"And, if each branch has its own Sumika, and I'm the 'real' Shirogane, then even though I looped into a new world with each experience… then they're still attached to me. They're still making me a causality conductor."

Yuuko claps in a mocking fashion as she sits up.

"That's my theory as well." She says, narrowing her eyes while still not losing her devious grin.

"But how does that explain why I ended up here? Wouldn't the nearest Sumika have just drawn me back to her own world once I disappeared and started heading towards my own world? And why didn't the date change either?"

"Well Shirogane, the answer is two-fold as far as I'm concerned. First of all, think about how all Kagami's in the various branches you created are drawing on you."

"Um… I don't see what you're getting at Yuuko-sensei."

"Well, if they're all pulling on you, they're all pulling on you with equal pressure in multiple directions."

"Oh, so you're saying they're all cancelling each other out. By pulling me in competing directions, but at the same strength, they're forcing me to remain in the same spot."

"Yes, that's a good way of putting it."

"But, in that case, wouldn't I have just stayed in that world?"

She wagged her finger.

"Isn't there something else pulling you Shirogane?" Yuuko asks.

"Oh, you mean my own world. And… since it's my world, its pull is stronger than the Sumika's in other timelines."

"Close, but that's not quite it. If that was the case, what do you think would happen?"

I folded my hands in front of me and thought about it. I didn't come to a solid conclusion, but I decided to give it my best shot.

"Well, if my own world's pull was stronger than Sumika, then I never would've ended up in this situation in the first place. But… if all of the Sumika's in the branches I created are equally strong, then I wouldn't be able to form new branches. And… if each world's Sumika had a greater causal mass than the previous one, I would've just been drawn back to the previous timeline. Ugh… I don't get it."

"Well, you're wrong about a couple things. All the Kagami's in all of the branches are equal in 'strength' as far as pulling you in. Their causal mass doesn't increase with loops either, because the depth of their experiences aren't increasing like yours are by going through so many loops. They remain static because every time you died, you created a new branch to house you. Or rather, Kagami did, because the fact that you were dead and that she wanted to see you again created a contradiction that forced another branch to be created that inherited the causal information from your world of 'Shirogane being alive'. She couldn't erase that after all, because it didn't belong to her world in the first place. So, once that was done, the new branch which now contained the causal information of 'Shirogane being alive', and as such had a stronger pull on you than the previous branches, sucked you in to start you over from the beginning on October 22nd. Because the new branch doesn't have any information on you, other than that you're alive and that information arrived in that world on October 22nd."

"Okay, so if they're all equally strong, and I was right about how my own world's pull is weaker than Sumika's… then the only other explanation would be that another source was stronger than those two. Hm… causal information on me… Oh!"

"I think you've figured it out this time." She says brightly.

"This branch of my world contains the causal information of 'Shirogane being alive' doesn't it? Because I was here before! That's a stronger pull than other sources, and since Sumika wasn't around once she died to create that contradiction you were talking about before, or imprint the information of 'Shirogane being alive' on the world while also complimenting that information with her own strength... instead of creating another branch, I was sucked back here."

"Good Shirogane. That's correct. Once the Kagami in the other world died, the causal information 'Shirogane being alive' disappeared from that world. Normally, this would mean you'd be pulled back to your own world, because the void left behind by the original 'Shirogane being alive' information still exists, and if you went there the information 'Shirogane being alive' would be reconstructed. But, it is only a void, and when you traveled to this world, you created a copy of the original information which is stronger than a void. Since that copy is stronger, it was inevitable that you'd be pulled here."

"Okay, but you said the explanation was two-fold…"

"Well, the second reason is much less important, but I think it's still something I should bring up." Yuuko says sitting forward again. "I want you to think about something. What was necessary for every time you looped? What had to happen?"

"Well, I had to die right… Oh! Are you saying that because I'm dead in those worlds, even if I was drawn to them by proximity, then I would be rejected because the previous version of me is still there?"

"In a way. I think it would be better to say that you would be rejected if your will wasn't strong enough to overwrite the causality information 'Shirogane is dead' with the causality information 'Shirogane is alive'. So, basically, if you didn't _want_ to go to that world, then you would be rejected."

"Ah, I can see why the other explanation was more important. The second explanation is irrelevant compared to the first one."

Yuuko nods.

"Wait, can we get back to the original topic?" I wonder.

"What do you mean?" Yuuko asks an obviously rhetorical question.

"If I'm still a causality conductor because of the other Sumika's, then why wouldn't I draw information from those worlds? Why aren't there more pipes that lead to them? You said that you thought I wasn't dangerous because the pipe I was using before is shut, but now that I think about it… if there are multiple branches, then I would have a pipe leading to all those worlds as well, wouldn't I?"

"You answered this question already. Think about it."

"Hm… well, I'm dead in those worlds. Does that mean when I die, the pipe shuts?"

"Not exactly, but yes, that's essentially the case. See, since you're dead in those worlds, those worlds won't accept any new causality information from Shirogane."

"Okay, so that deals with inputs and means I can't steal anyone's memories. But, what about the other way around? What about the output?"

"Yes, that's a good question, and it's actually something I'm worried about. I'm not sure, but I think it's possible that the output could be shut because there's still a 'you' there. And, when the world wants to give causality information to 'Shirogane', it would target him and not you. But… I really can't be sure about it. That Shirogane is dead so I don't think it would want to give causality information to Shirogane in the first place. But... your existence as a causality conductor might cause the world to target you instead. Applying the worst-case scenario, that world is 'confused' about which one to target, and output is significantly slowed but is most definitely still active."

"But how are we supposed to tell?"

"We can't. Since we know for a fact that there can only be output from the other world into ours, we can't even test whether or not you're still a causality conductor. And since you're dead in that world, the events you draw will be random, so we'd have absolutely no method to measure how many events you are drawing or what they even are… if at all."

"Well, then we have to operate on the assumption that the output is functioning."

"Yes, though at the very least, we can also operate under the assumption that it will take days at minimum before you draw even a single event. Still… the long-term consequences could be catastrophic. In those worlds you died… everyone was dead. No one was left on the Earth. If you draw an event like global extinction from that world… or you stay here long enough to draw the death of every single human being on Earth…"

"I see what you're getting at. Then, we have to get me out of this world and back to my original world. And in order to do that, we'd have to remove the causality information 'Shirogane being alive' from this world, right?"

"Yes, but that's not all. Don't you remember that there's still a stronger pull on you than your own world?"

"Oh yea. The other Sumika's. But, won't those worlds reject me?"

"Yes, but that just means if you removed the causality information 'Shirogane is alive' from this world, you'd be stuck in limbo forever."

I imagine myself being stuck in that white non-existence forever. I shiver.

"That's… not a desirable outcome." I say.

"Of course it isn't. Though, if it comes down to it, it may be our only option."

"But you're saying there are still other options."

"Well, if we want to return you to your own world instead of sticking you in limbo, then our objective is clear: we have to remove any and all Kagami's which are pulling on you from existence. This will mean you are no longer a causality conductor anymore, and trigger the reconstruction process we originally intended on."

"You… you want me to kill Sumika in all possible branches of that world…?" I ask, putting my hand over my mouth. "I… I don't know… if I can do that."

"It's the only option I can think of Shirogane… I'm sorry… But, the Kagami here is alive and in her body. Can you imagine what would happen if you drew the event that landed her as a brain like she is over there? You would be putting this Kagami through that same pain. So… you should consider killing the ones who have already landed in that state to be a mercy."

I remain silent, thinking it over. My course of action should already be decided… I can't hesitate anymore. But, it's Sumika, and… I can't apply those same rules as readily to her. I know it's a contradiction but… I guess love itself is a contradiction to the cold logic of war. Maybe… killing them all really would be a mercy. She's eventually going to be killed by Alternative V's G-Bombing anyways, right…? Wait a second, shouldn't that already have happened?

"Sensei, correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't those Sumika's already be dead due to the bombing from Alternative V?" I ask.

"Hm… that depends, when does Alternative V go into effect?"

"In 2004… ah, I see what you mean. It's 2002 right now, so unless I'm willing to wait two years it won't happen. Traveling between worlds doesn't alter my position in time unless I'm looping."

"That's a good point, though in the case of you going there, you would arrive at your time of death."

"Really?"

"Yes, the fact that straight looping overwriting your previous actions didn't occur, and instead new branches were created, tells me that you cannot interfere in events which you yourself already participated in. Because doing anything would create a paradox thanks to the causality information you carry with you. However, you can still move through time as long as you don't alter your own personal actions in any way. In this case, that means you can only move into the future. So if you head to one of those branches, you will arrive at the point of your death, overwriting the causality information 'Shirogane is dead' with 'Shirogane is alive'. That will reconstruct the body at the same spot it died."

"That sounds… dangerous. Wouldn't I be attacked the second I showed up?"

"Hm… that's a legitimate concern."

"If I'm being attacked by the BETA when I arrive, then I'm dead meat. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If I died, that probably means my TSF was fatally damaged and I have no method of escape. What the hell would even happen if I died again?"

"You'd start another loop if that happened as long as the Sumika that's there is still alive."

"Okay, so dying the second I show up is clearly not an option. If I do this all over again, wouldn't the solution that gets me home get infinitely more complicated?"

"Yes, considering it would ultimately create another branch exactly like this one, and we wouldn't know about it. For all we know, that already happened."

"So I could be sucked back to another version of this branch once we remove the causality information of 'Shirogane being alive'? That sounds like a pain."

"Well, at least you'll know what to do when you arrive in such a place. Let's just operate under the assumption that this is the first time you've created a branch like this."

"Okay, will do. But that doesn't fix the problem I just brought up."

Yuuko leans back in her chair.

"Well, either way, we have no choice but to send you. But, having you die a horrible death and starting this whole thing all over again won't solve either of our problems. This world wouldn't be reconstructed and you'd just end up turning up again anyways." She says, before her face turns into another devious grin. "I guess we could still erase you completely."

I don't respond to that. It has to be a serious consideration.

"Hm… I don't like how you didn't refuse that idea." Yuuko expresses with a glare. "I won't accept that ending. You're one of Marimo's students, remember?"

"I remember, but if it's the only thing we can do, then we don't have a choice."

She sighed loudly and stood up.

"Give me a minute to pace, okay? And you think about what we could do too. Your lower concept ideas can really be helpful sometimes."

"Okay…" I'm not sure whether to be insulted or not by that. Either way, I sit back and start thinking on my own as she begins to pace the room.

It's fifteen minutes before she returns to the phone.

"Any ideas?" She asks. "I have one but it's not one I particularly care for."

"Can we make it so I arrive later than my death?" I wonder. "Like, say, a week? Then whatever killed me shouldn't still be there, right? Once I arrive, my plan is to scavenge any downed TSF's in the area. I have some basic knowledge that should enable me to use pieces of different TSF's to get one up and running. It won't be perfect, but it'll get me back to Yokohama Base from wherever I am at least..."

"I have no idea how I would do that, unfortunately. I have no idea how to control your travel through time. Space is hard enough. After all, your time travel is controlled by simple physics. The new branch can't place you into a spot in time unless there is something leading up to your current state, so it places you at the very first event you created, 'Shirogane being alive'. That's not really time travel at all... it's completely out of your control."

"Well that's all I've got. The fact of the matter is that if the BETA are there when I arrive, I'm dead."

"Say, you said they detect humans, right?"

"Yea, somehow."

"Do you think… that if you were in a state of deep unconsciousness, they wouldn't consider you alive?"

"Let me think."

I think back. Looking through every bit of information I'd learned about the BETA. And, I got it. I remember… that when I was looking up information on the older Alternative plans in one of the timelines where Alternative V was triggered… I looked up old data on BETA experiments done with live subjects. They tested the BETA's ability to detect humans.

" _Experiments revealed that humans in states of low consciousness and near death could not be detected by a BETA's anti-personnel detection capabilities. We still don't know how this works, but a patient put into an induced coma in a TSF was not attacked by the subject."_

"You may be on to something here." I say suddenly, popping my eyes open. "I remember reading about an experiment where that was the case. They didn't attack a patient in an induced coma."

Yuuko grins. This is apparently the solution she's been looking for.

"Wait, you don't mean to…?"

"It's the only way that I can think of." Yuuko says.

"I see… Wait, isn't this all moot anyways? How the hell am I even supposed to reach one of these branches of that world, let alone all of them?"

"I see two options." She replies. "One is to use your memories of a timeline in order to travel to it. After all you have those very particular images you mentioned, don't you? This method would work the same way as how you used the thought of Kagami."

"Ah… I see. But I had to try really hard back there. I loved Sumika, and she was still alive on the other side. How would I travel to a branch if the person I'm trying to target is dead?"

She crosses her arms.

"You can at least travel to a branch where they remain alive. If you loved them, wouldn't you have them be on the migration vessels for Alternative V? No matter what you had to do? As far as my understanding of your morals are concerned, I believe that would be your course of action."

"I guess… that's true. Yes, I think I would make that decision."

"I expected you to be modest about that. Guess you've grown a bit." Yuuko says with a smile.

"Regardless, how am I going to get strong enough feelings to get to that world? Don't I need extremely strong will to overwrite the causality information? It was hard enough just to go back to that world before, right? And we had the benefit of spacetime reaching out toward us. How am I supposed to travel to a world that isn't close to this one through willpower alone if I don't even love the person I'm trying to reach?"

"Well, to be honest, it being close is not necessary. As long as your will is strong enough you can just ride the way using Kagami's pull on you. You'll overwrite the causality information before you even leave just by contacting that world. But… even now that I've improved the device significantly… your will needing to be strong is a good point. The memory alone might not be enough. But… we've got to try."

" _The memory alone might not be enough."_

"Hm…" I ponder that for a moment. "Yuuko-sensei, this is probably a stupid question, but if I had something that personally linked me to a person… would that be enough to help me cross to the world where they are?"

"What do you have?" She wonders leaning forward, suddenly intently interested.

"I have a letter Tama sent me before she died."

"If what's in that letter provokes a strong emotional reaction, that would work. Have you read it yet?"

"No."

"That's perfect. It will still be fresh. If you read it when I'm trying to transfer you, that should be enough."

"Okay, good, that's another problem solved."

"Yes, and once you're there, you can find something else that can provoke enough of an emotional reaction towards one of the people in your memories. Then, destroy Kagami's brain, and you'll be taken back here again. We can repeat this very same process until we're done."

"This sounds like it's going to be an enormous undertaking. Is it even possible to destroy every Sumika in every world branch? Can we even get to every single one?"

Yuuko bites her lip.

"Probably not to be honest." She says. "But, there is most definitely a finite number of branches. Now, this is just my hypothesis, but I'm guessing it takes a lot of will to turn you into a causality conductor Shirogane. If we destroy enough of the things that are making you a causality conductor, the total number of wills will shrink to a number insufficient to turn you into a causality conductor from such a great cosmic distance. One is enough in the same world, but reaching across the vast distance between worlds is much more difficult. That's just my hope, of course…"

"It would certainly make this task more manageable." I reply.

"Either way, we can't do nothing. We have no choice but to make the attempt."

"I understand… that just leaves one thing then." I stand up, I start saying what it is… but then Yuuko shakes her head vigorously and points to her phone.

Shit, they're recording the conversation. If I say I'm going to escape… that would be bad. It could jeopardize any attempt, and it certainly means that I need to plan on my own. Nothing we've said so far says I'm going to escape. To them it'll probably sound like some crazy, delusional ranting that should get us locked up in the psych ward. But they'll have to think that over, and that gives me time to plan my escape.

"Never mind." I say. "I know what I need to do. It's just too bad you can't help me. But… I'll do what I need to do. Whatever I need to do."

She nods in response.

"I'll do what I need to do too." Yuuko replies, standing up as well.

"See ya, Yuuko-sensei." I tell her.

"Bye Shirogane. Good luck."

We can't say anything else without giving something away, so we nod to each other and hang up our respective phones. As I walk back from my booth to the door, and as I make my way back to my cell with Macen, I consider the situation with intense focus. Our objective is now clear. Yuuko will go prepare her device and find a place to use it. I, in the meantime, will escape from prison.

It sounds like a difficult thing to do, but I have no choice. If I don't, then this entire planet is in danger of global extinction. I can't be taking chances with that risk up in the air. I hold no reservation for doing what's necessary to save lives. I hold no reservation for doing what's necessary to finally end my trip across worlds.

I'm just sorry that this world's Shirogane is going to have to deal with the consequences of my actions for a second time.


	5. E11 - P5 - Breaking Point

_**Authors Note: Just a quick note, but I'd like you to know that all of my chapters when first published are first drafts. I don't do an editing pass until a later point. If you're interested in reading a clean draft, you might want to wait until the next chapter after the current one is published. If you just want to read the current chapter, it should be in a readable enough state to be understandable. I also added a draft counter under the chapter title. Barring exceptional circumstances, there will only ever be two drafts, so if it says Second Draft you're good to go. Thanks for your understanding!**_

 _ **And thanks for reviewing DarkManta!**_

* * *

 **MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

* * *

 **EPISODE 11: SELF IMPRISONMENT**

 **PART V: Breaking Point**

 _ **Second Draft**_

* * *

I'm distracted on my way back to my cell. Macen seems to realize this and stops trying to talk to me pretty quickly. Good people always realize when something is on someone's mind. Still, even the walk itself is distracting, and once I'm back in my cell sitting on my bed… I'm grateful for the peace and quiet as I plan my escape.

So, during the whole time I've been guided through this prison so far, I've memorized every square inch I can. The problem is that I've never been taken out of the cell blocks, so my knowledge only goes that far. The actual issue is, of course, the two doors of thick steel bars which can only be opened via a computer on the opposite side. These serve as the impassable exit from the cell block. Needless to say, I can't go through there. Only, I can't escape out of any of the windows either, as they're too small. For a low-security prison, there are surprisingly very few potential escape routes, and that means I'm going to have to get creative.

When I think about it, I only have two options.

The first is to take a guard hostage at gunpoint, and use that to force them to open the exit.

The second is to shoot the glass dividers in the visitor's hall and break out through the exit in the building on the opposite side.

Both of those plans have some serious flaws, however.

The first plan draws a helluva lot of attention, and it wouldn't be long before I'm surrounded by guards. If I have to fight that many people at once, it will be difficult to avoid killing anyone, especially since they might pull out guns. My armored suit should protect me well against the gunfire from firearms in this world, but my head is still vulnerable. I'd have to use my gun in self-defense _and_ I'd have to waste one bullet in the beginning to make sure they know I'm serious. The potential casualty count is incredibly high, and it has the risk to match because even if I managed to escape, I'd be on the run from a full scale manhunt almost immediately. That means tactical police squads with assault rifles and maybe even full support from the Japanese SDF depending on the death toll of my escape.

The second plan avoids a lot of those issues, because the visitor's hall is relatively isolated and soundproof. That means if I kill the cameras without being seen, it would be a few minutes before any guards showed up, and none of them would hear the gun. My escape is also pretty much direct, since that exit likely leads to an area meant for civilians, and is as such unguarded at night. Still… I'd have to waste a lot of ammo to get through that glass. My armored suit stimulants should give me the boost in physical strength necessary to pop through it once it's been weakened by gunfire, but having no ammunition is going to make the ladder part of my escape more difficult. There's also the thick steel door in the way. I don't know if the guards will have a key to that room, meaning I might need my gun to get through it by shooting out the lock. That'll attract attention...

But problems are unavoidable, so I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. The second plan, despite it's problems, has better odds. So it's ultimately the better choice. I'll put the first plan aside as a backup.

Of course, in order to execute either plan, I need to get out of my cell. Just like all prisons these days, each gate is controlled by a simple computer system in some room I've never been in. That means I have absolutely no choice but to wait for the guards to come for the evening contraband search of my room. It's done by two guards, and thankfully neither of them are Macen, because tonight they're going to get a lot more than they bargained for…

As time winds closer and closer to night, I think the fight through. I need to take them both out quietly. The guard that takes me outside of my cell is going to be my first target. She'll put handcuffs on me, and I can use them to choke her. Only, she's going to be behind me, so doing it without alerting the other guard is going to be difficult. For the entire rest of the day I stand in place and practice the exact necessary motion to keep her quiet while I take her out. An elbow to the chin, followed be a quick spin where I wrap the chain around her neck and pull. I have to be very careful about the amount of pressure I apply. Too much will kill her instantly. Too little will allow her to make noise.

Back in military training, they only taught me the pressure I needed to kill a target. So… I need to try and aim a bit below that. I also need to figure out that amount on the spot, as in my cell I have no handcuffs to practice with and no human target to practice on. It's going to be down to luck whether I kill her or not. The thought doesn't make me nauseous or anything. As long as I remember it's necessary and I stay calm, I won't hesitate, and that lack of hesitation will give her a greater chance of survival. Figuring out the right amount of pressure on the spot is going to take immense concentration.

The second guard will be much easier. I won't have to use the chain to subdue him, so I can use my arm. I've practiced a chokehold on other humans before. I know the right amount of pressure to knock someone out in that case. As long as he doesn't see me coming, getting him into that hold will be easy. Otherwise I'll need to take him out as quickly as possible before he can shout, which stands an extremely high chance of killing him.

In other words… my execution is everything here. If I make a single small slip-up, someone will die. I don't want to kill other humans if I can avoid it...

I decide to leave my planning at that. I need to be absolutely focused on this step in order to avoid killing the two guards. And so while on the way to my evening shower with Macen, I'm significantly less distracted and completely focused. I think they call this a flow state.

"That look you've got on you is a bit scary Shirogane, you know that?" Macen asks. I give him a slight smile, as I look back at him.

"Why do you say that?" I wonder.

"You look determined. Focused. It's a good look on you actually. It should help you get through this whole prison thing much faster. Depending on what you're trying to work towards…"

I need to stop him from thinking that I might be considering escaping. That would be bad. I sure hope he hasn't listened to the call…

"I… want to continue my education. Yuuko-sensei says she can pull some strings and get me the work I need to graduate on the down-low."

"Really?" He seems dubious. That's not a good sign. "The guys who listened to your call didn't mention anything about that."

"Well, the other part was a lot crazier, so I'm not surprised they didn't remember it. They probably thought we were delusional and insane." I lie through my teeth. If he didn't personally listen to the call, then that means I can do this.

"That's what those guys were saying. They're considering moving you to a psychiatric facility, I think. Haha!"

"That's… not funny."

"I don't think they'll do that after one conversation. What were you talking about anyways?"

"Yuuko and I talk in code." I tell him. I'm getting pretty good at this lying thing. "Remember when I told you she's mildly insane, but still a genius? Well, back in school, I was part of the 'go straight home' club. She decided to take me prisoner in her own original madness instead, and made me help her develop a secret code."

God, that sounds ridiculous and so dumb. I think he might buy it though. My delivery was pretty good. I'm still probably not suited to be an actor, but when I'm focused like this, it's not all that hard.

"Why… does that not sound weird to me?" Macen wonders, scratching his neck. "The impression I got from that woman makes me feel like you're not just pulling that out of your ass."

"The truth is the truth Macen." I reply.

"Haha! Well, you certainly weren't kidding on the mildly insane thing then."

Yes! He bought it! I shake my head, trying not to look too excited about him believing me.

"Well, why don't you sleep on it, and we'll talk about it tomorrow?" Macen asks as we approach the showers. I nod, and that's it for our conversation. Since I need him not to ask me any more questions, I decide on the way back to feign exhaustion by yawning whenever he tries to talk. It works, and when he deposits me in my cell, he simply says "good night" before leaving. I give him the same well wishes as I sit on my bed and wait patiently. Less than thirty minutes until the night checks. Less than thirty minutes until show time.

To avoid tensing up, I read more of Sumika's letters. I won't be able to bring these with me. The armored suit doesn't have any pockets and besides, I don't want to steal any of these from the other Shirogane I'm about to royally screw over. Still… reading them helps me relax, even though they also send occasional pangs of pain through my heart whenever the letters say something about Sumika's condition. About the hours long surgeries necessary to keep her alive. About the therapy she was going through after the specialized treatments funded by the Mitsurugi Financial Group.

Even the happy moments in these letters when she overcomes a new roadblock in her condition hurt. Like the first time she was able to talk again…

Still, it's a peaceful kind of sadness, if that makes sense… It makes me remember how hard Sumika is working and how strong she is. So, it only makes me more and more determined to do what I'm doing. To avert this sad fate where she has to celebrate every single little victory…

I'm pulled from my reverie by the sound of footsteps. It's time. I've already made gags and ropes by tying off bits of my laundry and stuffing them into my pockets. I'm prepared for this encounter, so I need to keep my concentration.

"Alright Shirogane." The guard, a tall woman with a strict but gentle voice, says as she arrives in front of the cell. The second guard is male. I can tell he's a rookie because unlike the first guard, he hasn't drawn his nightstick. Well, that and unlike the woman, I haven't seen him before. That will make things easier. "You know the drill."

Taking a deep breath, I stand up from my bed and approach the cell door as it opens, offering my hands. The woman cuffs me and then escorts me outside, placing a hand on my back as she points me towards my cell and keeps her nightstick above her shoulder. I've already calculated my angle of attack on this woman, having her be taller than me will make what I'm trying to do a lot easier.

"Now, Bailey, search the cell. I'm not helping you this time."

"Yes mamn!"

Perfect! Good thing I'm so far along the cell block! He's already been trained on how to search a cell.

Bailey begins his search of the cell with the sink, examining it for suspicious tampering. I wait patiently. I've gone through my memories of all previous searches and I know the period in which the other guard spends the most time looking away is when they search the bed, inspecting it for holes to see if I hid anything inside the mattress, and searching to see if I'd tampered with the frame at all. So I wait… until just… the right… moment!

The same second Bailey crouches in front of the bed is my moment of action. The first step of taking out the female guard is harder than it would be if she wasn't taller than me, so I'd practiced it the most. I put all the force I can muster into my elbow and drive it into the perfect spot in the center of her chest. It's higher than me so this motion is awkward to perform, but I manage to nail it, and it knocks her backwards. But knocking her backwards wasn't the intention of this move. The important part is that in an instant, all breath is taken from her lungs, leaving her temporarily incapable of making a noise.

With that done, I flip around and execute the other move I've been practicing all day. The first step is a jump. I'd calculated the amount of distance the first move would send her, and practiced the exact right amount of energy to put into my jump. This allows me to set myself into the proper position in the air to extend both of my hands, and through them the chain on my handcuffs. When I land, the chain wraps around her neck, and I allow her body to land on my shoulder as she's pulled down.

"Don't move or I might accidentally kill you." I say quietly to her as I pull my arms around and jerk down on the chain, hard. I'll know if I failed to apply the proper amount of pressure if I feel her neck snap, which would mean I'd fractured her trachea and rendered her unable to breathe. A fatal injury.

I wait with bated breath for that feeling while I crush her neck with the chain as quietly as I can. Luckily, even once the chain is wrapped to pressure, I don't feel the jerk or hear the sound of that event. Instead, she just tries not to struggle like I told her. Smart woman. I'm glad that what I said reached her. There's some inevitable struggling due to her instincts, but it's flimsy and weak. It takes less than ten seconds to render her unconscious as her body goes limp against mine. I don't waste time once I feel this. It takes me three seconds to lower her quietly to the floor, and another three as I quietly dash into the room behind Bailey and wrap my arm around his neck.

"Don't struggle or this might kill you." I tell him as I apply the exact amount of pressure taught to me. I make sure not to let my mind wander as, just like the woman, he tries not to struggle. Bailey is less experienced and is much worse at controlling himself. This forces me to push his body down onto the bed from behind as I wait the six seconds it takes for his body to go limp.

Again, I don't waste time. I grab a gag from my pocket and shove it, a bundle of tied together socks, directly into his mouth. Once that's done, I dash back to the woman who is already starting to wake up, even though it's been less than twenty seconds since I knocked her unconscious. I shove a gag into her mouth, then proceed to start choking her with my bare hand. It doesn't take long to send her back into dreamland again, and during that time, I use my free hand to tie the gag into place. I release her neck and use both hands to tighten the knot once it's done.

This takes enough time that Bailey starts waking up, so I dash back over to him and flip him over to repeat the same process I just performed on his partner. Once I tie the gag off, I run back over to the woman and quickly tie her arms and legs together. Then, I ran back to Bailey and do the same thing to him. Then, I run back to the woman and whisper as I drag her back into my cell.

"Seriously, don't make any noise. I don't want to have to hurt anyone, but I have a gun, and if you get everyone else involved… a lot of other people are going to die. Can I trust you not to move?"

She nods calmly as I sit her up against a wall in my cell, before tying up Bailey and telling him the same thing. I'm afraid that since he's a rookie he might not listen to me, so I go the extra mile on his bonds, going so far as to tie him directly to the metal frame of the bed in a way that prevents him from moving. Once that's done, I cover him up with my blanket in a way that makes him look like he's me, and step away.

With the hard part finally finished, I take a deep breath. I make sure not to relax long and head over to the woman. Oddly, I find that her gaze is not hateful. It feels… respectful, in a way.

"Thanks for understanding. I'm really sorry about this." I tell her with a bow of my head. She shrugs, in a way of saying 'eh, I'll get over it'. That makes me smile a bit. "Do you have the key to the visitor's hall?"

She nods and gestures her head down towards her waist, where her belt is. I retrieve a ring of keys from it.

"Stop me on the right one." I tell her as I hold up each key individually in order. When I reach the right one, she gives a little grunt. I remove that key from the ring, place it on the ground, and put another key between my fingers like a pointy knuckle. This causes her to raise an eyebrow a bit. I'm worried she might be thinking I'll kill her with it, but I calm her quick with a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, don't worry. I just need to unscrew that sink cover right there. By the way, does that ring of keys work on places outside the cell block?"

She shakes her head.

Damn. Whatever.

"Uh… you should probably close your eyes when I get undressed." I tell her.

This causes her to narrow her eyes a bit in annoyance. It looks pretty funny with her mouth stuffed full of socks, but I don't want to humiliate her so I don't say anything. Instead, I use the key to very quickly remove all five screws from the sink. With that done, I remove the cover and lower it gently to the floor. My armored suit and gun are still there, as expected. With that confirmed, I stand up and take off all my clothes. Putting on the armored suit takes a bit longer, but it's still only a few minutes before I'm in full uniform and ready to go.

Hm, the armored suit doesn't have any pockets. I have to carry Tama's letter, my gun, and the key with me. The nightstick will also be useful for taking out any guards along the way without killing them.

With that, I decide to steal the woman's belt and strap it around my waist. I dump out the whole pouch which just contains some personal effects for the woman like her wallet, a picture of her kid, and… a cellphone. That causes me to widen my eyes.

I bet I could link this into my armored suit's communication system!

Opening the phone and turning it on, my suit starts analyzing it automatically. It concludes that it's a communication device and loads it up to await for me to try and make contact with someone.

I shove the phone and Tama's letter from my bedside table into a pouch on the belt. Using my armored suit, I call the local directory in order to get Yuuko-sensei's cellphone number. I just hope it's there, and that she even has a cellphone…

After a few minutes talking with a dispatcher, it turns out both things are true. I manage to get an outgoing call to her without trouble.

"Come on, pick up…" I mutter under my breath. I finally hear the click of a successful connection, and a window of static that says 'audio only' pops up on my heads-up-display. "Yes!"

"Uh, Shirogane, is that you…?" Yuuko asks.

"Yes, it's me Yuuko-sensei. I'm about to escape from prison."

"What's your plan?" She wonders. "I'm waiting outside for you in my car."

Once she says that, my armored suit HUD automatically starts building a briefing based on the information I have. The map is built from my memories.

"All I've got so far is that I'm going to go to the visitor's hall and break through the screens to get into the civilian section." I reply. The briefing automatically traces a line to my destination. "I've already taken control of my cell and I'm still undetected. I just need to know where to go after I escape the cell block."

"The prison you're in consists of multiple buildings Shirogane." Yuuko explains. "The room beyond the visitor's area is small, you should be able to just go right outside. Tell me when you get close, I'll drive right through the fence."

"But, you'll be a fugitive if your car is seen."

"That doesn't matter. I'm going to be a fugitive anyways. I need to keep Shirogane out of the hands of the police this time. I'll explain later, concentrate on the here and now."

"Understood. So, basically, once I leave the visitors area, just charge outside right?"

"Yep. It'll be on your left once you leave the visitors area. Simple and straightforward."

The briefing line takes a left and then turns green.

"Sounds good. I'll tell you when I get through the window. Shirogane out."

This causes Yuuko to snort.

"Shirogane out…? Haha!"

"S-Sorry. I'll get a move on. I'll contact you again on the way out."

I hang up with her as the briefing completes and clears my HUD. With that done, I pick up the visitors area key and nightstick from the floor, place my gun in the nightstick holster on my belt, and leave the cell. Though… not without offering an apologetic glance back at the woman I'd tied up. This just causes her to shrug again.

There's no other guards in the cell block during the search except for at the exit gate. With that in mind, I don't have to worry about them, I just have to avoid cameras. As I put a conscious effort into this, my armored suit reveals a feature I never even knew it had. It displays the camera angles as real-time holograms so I can see where I'm not supposed to go. It's pretty helpful, and it makes getting to the visitor's hall door without being seen incredibly easy. Once I get there, I use the nightstick to destroy the camera. I move on quickly as I use the key to disengage the lock and go inside. There are no guards, as expected, and I destroy the next camera without interruption. I find the booth closest to the exit on the opposite side of the screens halfway down the fifteen booth long hall, and go inside. At this point, I set the nightstick down on the table in front of me, and take the gun from my belt.

I'll have to do it one shot at a time. First, I'll weaken the glass with a bullet. Then, I'll hit it with the nightstick as hard as I can. I'll keep repeating this until the glass shatters.

With a nod to myself, I proceed, raising the gun to aim at the screen. I shield my face from potential glass shard spray by raising my arm, and then fire. Lowering my arm, the screen has partially cracked from the first bullet. It's a pretty severe crack that runs half the course of the entire window diagonally. I grin, that means it won't take me long.

Anyways, I set the gun down and grab the nightstick before having my uniform administer a stimulant. It feels strange, but although I dislike drugs, I don't have time to waste... so I don't pay it any attention as I take advantage of the immediate boost to my physical strength and slam the nightstick as hard as I can into the screen. The cracks spread out from the place where the first bullet impacted. Repeating the process from the beginning, I spread the cracks even more by firing as close to my first shot at possible. At this range, it's child's play, and I easily hit the same spot.

Just gotta keep repeating this…

Or at least that's what I tell myself. The window is stronger than I thought. Sooner than you might think, my second bullet becomes my second to last bullet. My fourteenth shot. Still, the bullet does not shatter the screen. The entire thing is thoroughly cracked, but it still has not broken.

I don't have much time left. The guards realized that the cameras went down of course. They probably sent someone to check it out, and that guy who works at a low security prison wouldn't pay it much mind and would walk slow. I don't know where the security office is, but it can't be that far away. I can't have much more than a minute left.

With that in mind, I holster my pistol, and decide that I'll just go all out with the nightstick. In order to facilitate this, I pick it up, and climb on top of the desk… before beating the glass incessantly with a two hand grip. I make sure to put all my weight into every blow, and after a few strikes, I can hear the crackling sound of the glass starting to break down. On my tenth strike, I finally manage to knock out of a piece of glass. It's small but it represents significant progress, thanks to the weakening of the structural integrity of the window.

It's time to finish it off. I flex my shoulders, and then continue. Smack. Smack. Smack.

The cracking is getting louder.

"Just…"

Louder.

"…a…"

Louder.

"…little bit…"

It's starting to crumble!

"…more!"

Finally, the screen crumbles, splitting into little shards as it collapses to both sides. Only, just as I finish, I hear the door open. I have no time to waste. I immediately call back Yuuko-sensei as I jump to the floor of the civilian side of the visitor's area.

"Hey! Stop!" The guard shouts from behind me. I hear him get on his radio. "A prisoner is escaping! I think he has a gun!"

"It's too late to stop me…" I mutter under my breath as Yuuko picks up my call. "Here I come Yuuko-sensei, come pick me up!"

"On my way!"

I get running and shove the key for the visitor's area in the second door as soon as I reach it. Just as I hoped, it turns easily and I run outside into the hallway just as I hear the roar of the Stratos's engine in the distance. I guess if I wanted anyone as a getaway driver, Yuuko-sensei and her expensive car would place second… right behind Takahashi, that crazy chauffer of Meiya's. Well, we can't always get what we want I guess.

Anyways, now that I'm out in the hallway, I quickly swerve to face the direction of the engine noise and get running. I hear footsteps behind me, but I don't stop as I run into a lobby. The doors to the prison are made of glass. Knowing that, I don't stop, I speed up. Just as I'm about to hit the wall of glass, I see Yuuko-sensei's car pull up. I grin as I smash through the barrier separating us in dramatic fashion and run for the nearby road without slowing at all. But as I do…

I hear the click of a gun's hammer cocking and stop.

"Stop and put your hands up!"

I recognize the voice, and a chill runs through me as I turn around with my hands up.

"Macen, you don't want to do this." I say.

"Sh-Shirogane?" Macen wonders, his gun starting to shake as his confusion increases. "What the hell? How are you…? What is that…?"

He glances over to the car behind me, I'm sure he sees Yuuko-sensei in the driver's seat.

"You can't stop me Macen. Don't do this. I don't want to hurt you." I beg him. If he won't stop… there's only one option. I hear the approaching steps of more officers. I don't have time to wait very long.

"My gun is up, and yours is down Shirogane. Who do you think wins in this situation? Drop the nightstick and get your ass on the ground. Can't believe I trusted you… talking in code? Why didn't I ask why you needed to talk in code? I'm such a dumbass, you were planning your escape!"

"Macen, if you don't put that gun down, I'll have to kill you. Please don't make me do that." I'm pleading, tears building up on the edge of my eyes as I realize the inevitable path this confrontation is taking. Not only do I have to kill another human, I have to kill a friend… his friend… "Aren't we friends Macen? Don't friends trust each other!?"

I know Macen is a good person. I want to defuse this situation. I only have ten more seconds…

"Seriously?" He wonders.

"This armor will block it if you shoot me. I am a military trained marksman. This is your last warning. If you don't throw your gun away now, I will kill you."

I have no choice. My head is unprotected, so I can't just turn around and run, risking my head getting blown off. I have no idea what will happen if I die here, but I can't imagine it's anything good…

"Don't make me laugh! You're not…!"

Suddenly, without warning, I throw my nightstick with all the force I can muster in such a short period of time. This causes him to pull the trigger of his gun, but it's too late. The nightstick slams into his gun and knocks his shot off course, and I take the chance offered to me by this maneuver to draw my pistol.

"Don't do it Shirogane!" Macen yells, but it's already too late. I line up my gun with his head and fire. My aim is perfect. The bullet slams right into the center of his forehead with a spray of blood. His eyes are frozen in a state of shock as his body crumbles to the ground and the nightstick bounces off the sidewalk into the grass.

Time freezes for a moment as I realize what I've done. My hands are shaking and tears are running from my eyes.

I just… killed another human being. I just... killed a good person. A person with hopes, dreams, and a family. I just… killed a friend. I did it again... and who am I saving this time? No one... No one at all…

No... Please... No...

This is murder.

No... Please... No...

I'm a murderer.

No...!

"Shirogane, get in the damn car!" Yuuko yells. This breaks me out of my trance. My hand is clamped too tightly to the gun to let go, so I mindlessly use my free left hand to open the car door and climb inside.

 _"Don't do it Shirogane!"_

Yuuko drives off without a word through the hole in the fence she had created while driving in. I don't make a sound myself, just allow the tears to roll off my face as I try to let go of the gun. But… I can't do it. My hand is attached to it like a vice. It's like glue. I can't bring myself to loosen my fingers and let go, so I just end up uselessly throwing my hand around as my entire body continues shaking.

 _"Don't do it Shirogane!"_

This causes Yuuko to ask one simple, decisive question to me.

"Shirogane, is that the first time you've killed someone?"

 _"Please shoot... Takeru."_

That's all it takes to set me off. That's all it takes to make Meiya's fresh death go through my mind, and all of the anger and guilt I had pushed aside comes rushing back once again. With no immediate goal to distract me and aid me in pushing it all down, there is nothing I can do to stop it.

It turns out I never really got any stronger at all. I'd just gotten better at hiding my weakness.

"Damn it!" I yelled, slamming both of my fists against the dashboard as I lean forward sobbing. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

Yuuko-sensei doesn't ask any more questions.


	6. E11 - FP - Another Way

_**Reply to DarkManta: I haven't read any of them myself. This story is just my own feelings of how Muv Luv Alternative needed to end. When it comes down to it, Takeru lost his way during Muv Luv Alternative. And for as cruel as the world he faces is, in the end that is merely a symptom of his failure to stay true to himself. If he can't do that, then he has no choice but to accept reality for what it is. After all, that's the reality his path led to.**_

* * *

 **MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

* * *

 **EPISODE 11: SELF IMPRISONMENT**

 **Final Part: Another Way**

 _ **Second Draft**_

* * *

The end is inevitable from the moment I start. Is that fate? Is it fate that every time I try to do something right, something ends the wrong way instead? I thought the fact that I had a strong will meant that I would be able to dictate a better outcome. That's what I was told. I was told that having a strong will means being able to draw forth an optimal future. But if this is the better outcome, then what's the point? I don't feel like it's asking too much… to have a happy ending.

" _Shirogane, is that the first time you've killed someone?"_

"No." I say quietly. Tears are still running down my face, but the worst of it is over. I finally, while still shaking, holster the gun. My fingers are stiff as I peel each individual appendage from the wooden grip and flex them. As blood starts circulating through them again, the sound of the engine returns to me. I see the sight of trees flowing by outside of the window. I feel the chill of the cool air inside of the car.

"You'll have to speak up if you want to say something to me." Yuuko-sensei says, pulling me from my reverie. Do I sense… disdain in her voice? This is the same tone the other Yuuko used when she was addressing me as a child. This is the same tone she used when she was looking down on me.

I guess it's fair that this Yuuko is applying that voice in this situation. I am acting like a child, after all. Bawling like I always do when I can't get what I want.

"No." I say again, this time louder.

"No? No what?" She wonders.

"It's… the answer to your question." I tell her, looking over to her face. She's gritting her teeth, her eyes are narrowed, and her fingers are white from gripping the wheel so hard. The only other time I've seen Yuuko-sensei this angry is when this world's Marimo died and she turned the blame on me. I suppose… me breaking down is a comparable offense. It's disrespectful to her memory. "It's not the first time I've killed someone."

"Then you're always a murderer?" I would say she asks, but it feels less like a question than an accusation. That confuses me. It's not what I expected. I expected her to say something about all my whining and crying… but…

"W-What?" I ask clumsily. I don't understand. I thought she'd be happy that I didn't hesitate when it came to something important.

"You heard me Shirogane! Answer the question, are you always a murderer!?" She yells that at me with venom. I was right. It really was an accusation before... an earnest insult to the course of action I selected.

"I… just did what… I needed to do…" I say. I'm not confident in those words.

"Oh, really? You really needed to kill that guard, huh?"

"I can't hesitate… If I do… then I won't be able to accomplish anything at all."

"What happened to you Shirogane!? What happened to warp you so badly!?"

What is she saying? I'm not warped. I didn't hesitate. I did what a strong person would do and didn't take any unnecessary risks.

"I'm really not the type of person who should be giving you this lecture. I'm not a kind person. I'm not a person who works for the benefit of others." Yuuko expresses her anger in a low, hateful voice. "But, what you just did is irredeemable. Why is it that someone like me has to tell someone like you something so obvious? Why is it that even someone like me can realize how unforgivable what you just did was… and yet… that thought doesn't even seem to cross your mind.

"You did what you needed to do? Give me a break…"

"Meiya…" I say.

"What about Mitsurugi? What about her could possibly be important right now?"

"I killed Meiya…"

"And why did you do that?"

"She asked me to. She was in pain. And… she asked me to kill her. In order to kill the BETA's leader."

"Is that so…? I think I get it now." Yuuko-sensei says. Taking a breath and relaxing her fingers, she continues in a cool, distant voice. "I guess, once you could bring yourself to kill someone so close to you, killing anyone else just comes easily… I guess a human life just isn't all that great a consideration."

"I don't understand why you're angry." I say. "Didn't I do the right thing?"

"I wasn't there Shirogane. And, to be honest, I'm not really all that good with people anyways. I can't really answer that question. But, I can tell you that in the here and now, what you just did was wrong. Even someone like me has the human decency to know that."

"Why was it wrong? If I didn't kill him, we wouldn't have escaped. If I didn't kill Meiya, the BETA's leader would've killed me and destroyed humanity's last hope for survival."

"So, you're telling me you just did what was necessary to win? If that's so Shirogane, why don't you answer me this? Are you really so sure that the answer to the problem you found was the only one there was?"

I remain silent. I can't answer that question. If I do… I feel like I'll break.

"I see. Guess that's how it's going to be."

I can't answer your question, Yuuko-sensei. It makes no sense. If I hesitated… then the inevitable ending was that I would have lost. There are never any other choices to make. If you don't take the first available option, then all other options will just disappear. So what's the point of thinking about another way? There's not enough time to think of another way in a desperate situation. Either you act, or you die.

I get it now.

"You just don't understand Yuuko-sensei." I say. "If I don't act on the first option that comes to mind, then what's the guarantee that I'll have another chance to act at all?"

"Whatever. This isn't important." Yuuko says, clearly giving up on convincing me. "I don't want to hear any more of this childish nonsense."

"You've never been desperate Yuuko-sensei. You live this happy, pampered life where you can waste time doing meaningless things. You've never had to face the weight of the lives of the people resting on your shoulders every day. You've never had to go through the pain of watching people you care about die, or of having to be the one to kill the people you care about in order to protect everyone else. How could you possibly understand? If anyone here is a child… it's you. Because you still haven't gained the ability to make hard choices.

"Thinking things through? Coming up with a better way? That's just naïve idealism."

"If that's what you want to think Shirogane, who am I to stop you? You can think however you want. Just do what I tell you to do. You can be a hypocrite on your own time."

"Yes mamn."

With that exchange, we both fall silent. Yuuko keeps driving at high speed in the meantime. I don't know where we're going, but I guess it isn't important. No matter where we end up going, the real final destination is obvious. I have to go back to that world where humanity is already gone. Fine then. If it's the only way, I'll do it. It doesn't matter. If it has to be done, it has to be done.

I'm sorry for Macen. I'm sorry that it was necessary to kill him. But, I didn't cry and sob because I thought it was the wrong decision. I did it… because I hate this cruel universe that keeps forcing me to do such things. I hate it for forcing me to play the role of a murderer. I hate it for forcing me to play the role of a soldier. I hate it for forcing me to play the role of a savior. I never asked for those things. Sure, I was lacking direction, but I was happy just to live I was living. I was happy just having friends and a normal life. So I hate the universe for taking that away from me.

Of course, hating the universe doesn't accomplish anything, so it's worthless to waste my time on it. I'm glad that I'm at least strong enough to move past it. Unfortunately, at heart, I'm still the same weak person I was when I started. The other Yuuko-sensei taught me how to cover that up when I need to. To be strong when it really matters. I'm glad to her for that. It's the only reason I've gotten this far… it's the only reason there's still a chance…

As I sink myself in these confusing thoughts, an hour passes in silence. We're far outside the city now. All I can make out through the impenetrable darkness of the countryside are the forests and grasslands. Though… I can also make out the stars. Only, I examine them, but I really don't feel anything. I really expected to feel something… looking at what should be a beautiful sight. But... instead of focusing on the brilliant lights, I can't help but focus on the darkness between them.

"We'll be there soon." Yuuko-sensei says, drawing my attention back to the ground. I look around, but I don't see anything.

"Where's 'there'? Where are we going, anyways? Don't we need an atomic reactor to make that machine work?"

"Yes, but don't worry about that for now. It's not important. First things first, we need to ditch this car… and there's where we're going to do it."

Light suddenly breaks through the night. A gas station. It's strange to see one out here. There's nothing else for miles. Yuuko pulls in and parks the car before getting out. A man comes up… a familiar man.

"Takahashi?" I wonder at the unexpected face.

"At your service." He says with a slight bow.

"I thought… Meiya left."

"She did. Me and Takahashi here have an understanding though." Yuuko says as she tosses him the keys to her Stratos. "He owes me for cheating in that race by jumping instead of turning."

I remembered that race. I don't remember there being any rules…

"I also just don't mind doing a favor for a worthy opponent." Takahashi says as he climbs in the Stratos. "Now, how long do you need, Professor Kouzuki?"

Yuuko grins deviously.

"It depends on how long you can keep out of reach of the cops." She says. "The longer you buy time, the less of a trail they have to follow.

"If that's the only requirement, I should be able to buy a few days before getting rid of the car." Takahashi replies.

"Either way, I'm ditching my cellphone, so don't call me. And make sure to drop her off once you're done."

Her? I don't think he means the car.

"Sure, this should be fun." He says with a slight smile. "I've never committed a crime that requires me to play getaway driver."

"So that's why you really helped isn't it?" I ask cooly. "You wanted to have some fun."

"Why, do I really seem to be that type of person to you?" He shoots back smoothly. I don't get to answer that question because he starts the car and drives away. The sight of the Staratos, and the sound it's engine, disappear far faster than should be possible. It's not that Takahashi's skills don't surprise me anymore... it's just that I don't care. So, I don't react.

"Who is 'her'?" I wonder as Yuuko tosses her cellphone to the ground and destroys it with the underside of her heel.

"Come on Shirogane. I had him bring some normal clothes for you." She states this emotionlessly, ignoring my question while speaking without the mischievous edge she usually has. It seems I'm too far beneath her to warrant playing around with me or answering my questions. I accept that without complaint as she takes me over to another car with a significantly lower profile. She climbs inside the driver's side and turns the car on by turning the key already in the ignition. Afterwards, she pops the trunk and gives me an order. "They're in the trunk. Hurry up and get dressed so we can get moving."

I accept the order and do as commanded, leaving my armored suit in the trunk as I pull on an outfit I only distantly remember owning. Anyways, it's not long before I'm finally in some civilian clothes and in the passenger seat. Yuuko gets the car moving wordlessly, taking the car back in the direction she came as she rolls up the dark windows. This vehicle had clearly been selected with the express intention of avoiding the police. On the way back, they eventually pass us, leaving us free to proceed into the city without any trouble. Of course, it's not long before we're out onto open road again. Hours pass in silence. By the next time Yuuko-sensei next speaks, the sun is rising.

"Don't ask any questions about where we are once we get there. There's no reason to tell you. It's not information you need to know, and I don't care to tell you."

"I understand. I wasn't going to ask anyways. You clearly don't want me to ask any questions right now."

"Good. Like I said before, do what I say. I'll get you back to your world in the end no matter what it takes."

"Even if you erase my existence out of spite, I won't complain."

"You're getting me confused with a much crueler person." Yuuko replies. "Just because I act a certain way towards people doesn't mean I actively try to hurt others."

"Understood."

"Good. You'll be the perfect soldier for me."

I don't respond to that. Instead, the road trip continues in silence as we get into a more and more mountainous region. The roads become less and less clear as we go on, but Yuuko seems to know the way. After another hour, we finally arrive at our destination. Snow covers the ground and we're close to the top of one of the mountains.

Yuuko pops the trunk and gets out without a word and so I follow suit, grabbing the uniform I left in the trunk and following her into a tall house with what looks to be a miniature power generating facility in the back. Cables and small towers of metal run back and forth inside of a pen constructed of metal fences topped by barbed wire. It's the kind of place that makes me think of a scientist's secret lab… especially once we head inside and the first room has plenty of sciency looking equipment. I recognize everything that used to be in the physics lab and more. It must've cost a fortune…

"Welcome Shirogane. It cost a lot of money, but I and the other you are going to be hiding out here until this situation is resolved."

I remain silent. I'm not supposed to ask questions. Still, I do wonder how she afforded all of this. She is on a teacher's salary in this universe. Or, wait, not even that anymore. Hm…

"If you're wondering how I afforded all this, I should tell you that Marimo left me everything. It wasn't what I expected when they dug up a will… but I accepted. I sold her house and mine, and Takahashi was kind enough to pay for my Stratos. It'll be enough to survive all the way out here where the police can't find us. Though, it was a pain to get this place built without there being a paper trail to follow back to it."

She turns back towards me.

"But the most important thing is that I managed to build an Atomic Reactor. So that means we'll be able to freely use the transit device without getting into any more trouble."

"I see." I utter the first words I've spoken in several hours. "We should get started as soon as possible."

"I guess you're desperate to get away from me, huh Shirogane?" Yuuko wonders, putting on a devious grin. "Tell me Shirogane. Do you think I hate you?"

"That's pretty clear."

"Well, you're wrong." She says, narrowing her eyes into a glare. "I feel bad for you, actually. The only answer for what you did back there is that you're broken. Unfortunately, I'm not a people person, so I can't be in charge of fixing you. Sorry, but I'm not that kind of Doctor."

"On the other hand, I'm happy for you Yuuko-sensei. You don't live in a world where my way of thinking is necessary."

"Shirogane, there is no world where your way of thinking is necessary. But that's enough of that. Go upstairs and get some rest. I don't have any barbiturates. I need to make some before we can send you… You're lucky I'm such a genius, no normal physics teacher could do something like that."

"Understood."

With that, I turn away from her. I find the stairs easily enough and scale upwards. One door is locked, and the other leads into what I suppose is my room. It's a simple place. There's no decoration, but it has a bed and it's warm. That's enough for me. I put my things down and clamber into the bed without any hesitation. I was ordered to get some rest, so I'll get some. I avoid thinking as much as possible as I close my eyes. Instead, I just try to envision Sumika's face in my mind, and thanks to that it doesn't take me long to get to sleep. But I can't keep up that distraction in my dreams…

Macen is there.

"Why'd you kill me Shirogane?" He asks.

"You were in the way, Macen. I'm sorry. With so much at stake I couldn't risk you killing me…"

"But, didn't you have me right where you wanted?"

"What do you mean?"

"My gun was knocked off course by the nightstick. I was just wearing a normal prison uniform."

"Stop. There was no other way."

"You could've shot me anywhere but the head. At least then, I would've had the chance to survive."

"You would've shot me in the back!"

"But you were wearing armor."

"My head wasn't protected…!"

"Couldn't you have just put your head down?"

"Stop it…"

"Or, even better, couldn't you have just tackled me and taken the gun? You weren't that short on time. Surely a trained soldier like you could've disarmed me easily…"

"Stop it…"

"There were so many options…"

Suddenly, I wake up and spring upwards into a sitting position, screaming.

"There was no other way! Stop it!"

My breathing is coming fast and hard. Cold sweat is rolling down my skin, soaking my clothes. My heart feels like it's beating out of my chest.

"None of that matters…" I mutter quietly to myself. "None of those things matter… I didn't think of them, so they don't matter…"

"You aren't looking so good Shirogane." Yuuko says from the doorway. She really is… looking at me with pity. I wonder how long she's been standing there, but I don't ask any questions. "Are you ready?"

"That was quick." I say as I stand up.

"I have my ways. Now, you should grab that letter from Tamase, the gun, and that strange armored uniform. You'll need them."

"The gun is out of ammunition. It's useless. It wouldn't work against the BETA anyways…"

"I'll leave what you're taking up to you then. Take a shower if you want to, then meet me in the backyard where all of the generators are. My reactor and the device are back there."

"I understand." I reply. This prompts Yuuko to leave. I'm glad she's giving me the chance to take a shower. I'm soaked with sweat and that might make it more difficult to focus once I get there... especially if I end up having to stay in a TSF cockpit for a long time. I guess that's kind of a silly thing to be worried about. Maybe it's more of an excuse to justify wasting my time to do something relaxing.

I find the bathroom easily enough. The hot water is soothing, and burns away the concerns from my dream more easily than my own willpower alone can manage.

Those concerns are ridiculous and meaningless. Why did Yuuko-sensei have to raise such pointless objections? That's not exactly helping me concentrate, you know… It's her fault that I'm having such a dumb nightmare. Ah, who am I kidding? It's my own fault for being weak enough to let her arguments affect me. I should grow up and stop letting her treat me like a child.

I push that thought aside using the water as well. I need to focus on my mission. I need to focus on the objective of destroying that world's Sumika. Even if it's something I don't want to do, if I'm going to return home to my own Sumika… then it's something I have to do. Besides, Kasumi left on the migrant vessels. That Sumika… is probably so lonely. It really is a mercy to not force her to live in that state forever. If I was her, I think I'd want someone to end it. So… to hesitate here wouldn't be because of Sumika, it would be because of me. There are enough obstacles without me getting in my own way…

With my shower complete, I strap on my armored suit with renewed purpose.

That's enough of letting my thoughts wander. The mission is the important thing now. It's the only thing that matters. So, I put everything else aside and step into the backyard with Tama's letter clutched tightly in my hand. I leave everything else behind. Yuuko-sensei is already there. I see the miniature transit device she built, plugged into a large metal generator. She's messing around with some wires on her knees.

"I buried the Atomic Reactor underground for extra protection from the radiation. I can connect to it through here…" Yuuko says. It seems she realizes I won't ask her any questions, so is doing me a favor and explaining it herself. "Done."

She stands up and turns around to face me.

"Okay Shirogane, now you've probably figured this out, but… my plan is to put you into an induced coma at the moment you're transferred. That way, if the BETA are present once you arrive, you won't be detected. Of course, there's a chance you'll die anyways depending on the situation… but we have no choice but to try."

"I understand."

"Now, I've worked out a timed injection system that I can wrap around your neck…"

"That's not necessary." I tell her. "If you put the drugs into my uniform and program it, it can do the same thing."

"Oh… so that thing is pretty advanced, huh?"

"Yes. There's a compartment on the back of the suit, if you pour the drugs in there, I can program it with the dose you want and the timing."

"Got it…" Yuuko says, grabbing a number of vials and coming over to me. "Where is it?"

"I'll open it for you." I say, closing my eyes and concentrating on it. There's a sound as the desired compartment opens.

"Now, Shirogane, these two things can't mix. One's for putting you out and the other is for scrubbing the other one out of your system so you wake up."

"Pour them in one at a time and they should be separated automatically. Do a three count between, just in-case."

"Will do."

She pours the drugs into the compartment as I instructed, and then closes it. Coming back around to the front she instructs me on the dosage settings.

"Got it, so that's what I'll have it give me."

"Now, Shirogane, how long does this uniform of yours have power?"

"Usually, if I just run it at minimum it will give me 72 hours. Going by that metric I have about 70 hours left. But, if I'm in an induced coma, I don't even need that. I should just be able to have it turn off for a predetermined window of time. Once that's up, it'll wake up and give me whatever injection I need."

"Good, then I'll let you choose how long you stay under. There's some things you need to know however. The big thing is that what you're doing here is not strictly safe. In medical procedures, this would be the last resort. There's a chance of brain damage from oxygen deprivation that will have you come out of the coma in a vegetative state. Your heart might even fail completely."

"Hm… I understand."

"Just keep in mind that the longer you choose to stay out for, the higher the chances of those complications. And, either way, when you first wake up, you will be weak. You'll need to rest a bit once you wake up in order to recover enough to move around. So, you'll be vulnerable. Now, with all that in mind, how long should you stay out?"

I don't really think about it long. Considering things against the BETA is useless. I'll just have to give a decent period of time and hope for the best.

"Put me under for a week." I conclude, looking back up at her.

"Well, it's your suit, you have to set it up that way."

"Oh… yea…"

I set my suit to turn on and inject me with the wake-up chemical in a week's time.

"It's done." I confirm.

"Alright." Yuuko says, turning away from me and walking back to her device. "Are you ready Shirogane? Once we start, there's no turning back."

"I understand."

"Fine then. You'll need to inject yourself with the barbiturates before you go through, and you'll need to stay awake until after you disappear from this world. The timing has to be perfect or we'll need do this all over again."

"And if I don't turn off my suit before I leave, then I'll never wake up because my suit will run out of power. I understand."

"Fine, just wait for my signal for the injection and you should be fine. Open the letter and start reading it in the meantime. While you're doing that, focus on the images in your mind you have of Tamase. I don't care if they're embarrassing, if you don't emotionally connect with that world, this won't work. And if you waste your first reading of that letter, it'll be that much harder the next time."

"I understand. Turn it on."

"There." She says, flipping a switch. At the same time. I open Tama's letter and unfold the paper while thinking back to the images of her… of us… that flashed through my mind. They're embarrassing, but I suppress that and try to dig deeper into the images. I try to recall it less like an image and more like a memory. If I can reach the emotions of my past self that created these memories… then I know I can't fail.

In order to remember more of her, in order to place her front and center in my mind, I start reading the letter.

 _Takeru Shirogane-sama… Takeru-san. Thank you so much._

An image of three arrows colliding with a target. That seems to be the most important image I have, even though it's the least embarrassing. I decide to focus on it.

 _I learned a lot from you. So I'm very grateful to you, and I respect you a lot._

The fourth will seal our fate. I can sense that. I just don't know what that fate is.

 _A lot's happened since I met you two months ago. A lot of things that forced me to think about what I really believed in._

The other me which loved her in that other world. Both as the archer, and again as the sharpshooter of Squad 207.

The current me which respected her for those skills.

And the both of us that admired her desire for a world where everyone was happy.

 _At the time, Takeru-san, your way of thinking was probably my ideal. You have to make your dreams happen yourself, no matter how painful and discouraging it gets. Nothing can be accomplished by running away from pain, or without causing someone else pain._

Tears build on the edges of my eyes, and suddenly, the memory from that other me opens. It becomes less of an image. I feel the bowstring as I draw it back. I remember skills that aren't mine as I pull back on the bow with perfect form. I feel the other me's desire to land that shot, no matter what. It has to be a bullseye, no matter what.

 _My dream is still for everyone to be happy. I want everyone I love, everyone in the world, to smile happily together. That dream won't change._

I remember that other me's Christmas gifts, but mostly the one from Tama. The flowers which represented love, a love for me. I remember the party itself, and I imagine… that it must have felt like that dream of hers came true. Even for just a moment.

 _That's why I will make Operation Cherry Blossom succeed. In order to make that dream a reality, I have to work with everyone to open up a path._

I have to make a path too. A path to you Tama.

Wait, no… I'm thinking about it wrong. I'm not the one who can open the path from here. I have to rely on someone else in order to do that.

 _By the time you read this letter, Takeru-san, I'll have given my life for it._

I have to offer my life here too. I need to give it over to another in order to open this path. Even if it's just for a moment, I need to put my life in his hands and trust him with it.

 _But I believe you reading this letter, Takeru-san, is proof that the world has taken its huge first step towards peace._

I need to stop thinking of him as the other me. He's another person altogether, isn't he? A person that I understand almost completely. I need to stop thinking of these as images or memories. I need to think of these things as his life. It's just in bits and pieces, but they are a confirmation of his continued existence that will make sure I can reach that other world.

 _I said I wouldn't write anything, but I am anyways, because I'm weak. After all, I'm sure you aren't writing anything, Takeru-san._

But he did. That other person who looks, sounds, and feels like me did. A letter he knew would never reach its destination. Yet, he believed. He had a desire. A dream. A wish. And… isn't Sumika proof that such things can create a bridge?

 _First Lt. Hayase will probably want even more push-ups or sit-ups from me, but I want to go see the others with my head held high. I plan on telling them I did my very best._

I need that desire. It's not my desire, so I can't embody it like he can. So I need to offer my life for his. It will just be for a moment. I need to offer my life to him for a moment. He will build the bridge for me with his desire. Not his desire for the letter he wrote to reach its recipient… but his desire to see the one he loves again.

Tama did her best, so I need to do my best too. She was ready to give up her life for me, so I need to be ready to give up my life for her.

 _Takeru-san, I don't think the war's going to end anytime soon, but please find happiness someday. Please make Kagami-san happy too._

That's it. That's how I can connect with him and bring his life forward to overcome mine. I have a desire to see someone I love again too. It's a desire he should recognize. So I summon my desire. To the life I've drawn in to share my mind, I show him my desire… my desire to see Sumika again.

That fourth shot… it wasn't to decide our fate. It was to decide theirs.

 _And lastly, please forgive me for showing you my weakness._

He fired that shot, and it landed right where it needed to. That was his desire for Tama. I feel his life in me. The softness of Tama's skin, the warmth of their kiss, and the love between them. I feel all of it as his life begins to flood my mind and body. It's... because I share a connection with him. Even across worlds, this other person who was once me is connected to me, and so I can always call to him. The bridge is already there as long as it's just between us, I just needed to wake him up so he could use it.

I share my similar experience with him. I share how I felt being with Sumika.

More and more, I can feel myself shrinking as my mind is filled with his life, and my own life is blotted out. As an instinct… I want to resist. But… I can't do that. I have to trust that he will let go once he opens a bridge to his world. I have to trust… that he will trust me to open the way to his desire, just like he's opening the way to mine. I've already given him back his life by calling out to him, surely he'll want to pay back that debt.

 _I was jealous of Kagami-san because you loved her and not me, Takeru-san._

"Tama, stop being silly." He says. The words came from my mouth, but they were definitely his. I have succeeded. I have summoned his life, and I offered up to him everything that I am in order to do it. "I love you. I love you, Miki!"

The light danced between his legs.

Oh… wait.

They're my legs again. All he needed was that moment. I trusted him, and now he trusts me… to open the path to his desire to see Tama again.

"I promise…" I say quietly to him as his life leaves back across the bridge. "I won't fail."

"The injection!" Yuuko shouts. I execute it, and turn off my armored suit as I start feeling woozy. The light is climbing, brightening, but it isn't done yet. If I lose consciousness… my offer was for nothing. I won't let that happen.

"It's done…" I tell her.

"Do you remember what you need to do, Shirogane?" Yuuko asks, standing there and looking at me.

"I need to destroy that Sumika Kagami."

She closes her eyes, as if she feels badly for me.

"I guess… that's all your capable of."

I'm not able to ask what she meant by that. The light takes over. I disappear from that world, and lose consciousness on the other side.


	7. E12 - P1 - Ghosts of the Past

_**Reply to DarkManta: It's not a tragedy if it turns out happy in the end. Hehe...**_

* * *

 **MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

* * *

 **EPISODE 12: REDEMPTION**

 **PART I: Ghosts of the Past**

 _ **Second Draft**_

* * *

The only thing I can think about as my awareness returns is the overwhelming pain in my chest as I struggle to breathe. This pain is aggravated due to what feels like a precarious position, sitting in the hard metal corner of a tight box. I use what little oxygen I can squeeze into my lungs to groan in agony as I struggle to lift my crusted over eyes. I feel so cold that I'm surprised that I don't even see the hint of my breath turning into a white fog through my squinting eyelids.

I try to move my arms and legs in an attempt to crawl out of the uncomfortable metal corner, but gravity feels a hundred times stronger on my weak body. As a strong sense of sudden nausea piles on top of all of my other issues, I try to dejectedly call out for help… but my mouth and throat are too dry to produce even a single word. I… need water…

My armored suit carries a pouch of it, and I quickly go through an entire liter in one extended drink. I only stop because I feel like I'm drowning, and when I do, I end up chaining a string of coughs together. I'm pretty sure I would've just thrown up if I had any food in my stomach.

Still, the water helps a great deal. I start to feel strength return to my body as I scoot myself to a slightly more comfortable sitting position to rest while I recover.

I suddenly hear the sound of wind passing through some type of nearby tunnel. Curious, I focus on opening my eyes. They're incredibly heavy, but I manage it. Using the small hint of light peeking out from above me, I recognize that I'm inside the control unit of a TSF. Sniffing, I also recognize the scent of blood mixed with… something else. It's neither a pleasant nor unpleasant smell, and I'm not sure what it is at first, but after struggling to crane my neck to look upwards, I understand.

The hole in the center of my cockpit makes it fairly obvious that I'm in a TSF that had been defeated by the jab of a Fort class. The other smell must be the spent acid of a Fort-class BETA.

"So… that's how I died…" I manage to mutter to myself. Speaking was a mistake, as I cough madly again for over a minute, necessitating another drink of water. I only drink a little bit this time as I sit back.

I have to relax. My whole body feels heavy, which means the drugs must not still be entirely out of my system. Yuuko-sensei said I'd need to rest. She really should've given me a time-frame on that…

Still, I wait patiently. I know that the more I struggle, the longer this is going to take. I keep my breathing steady and try to keep myself sitting in a position that is just barely tolerable. In order to distract myself from the discomfort, I decide to go back to thinking about things.

My first thought is of the fact that the transit to this world had clearly succeeded. I hadn't been killed again the second I arrived, which was always a possibility, and I'd clearly brought the version of me in this world back to life. It's kind of a crazy thought to think I'd revived someone from death, but I guess when we're talking about jumping between worlds and across time it's not really all that ridiculous. I wonder if his injuries have healed because I'm here…? Probably at least partially. I mean, if I'm overwriting the information that he's dead, I have to think that the world would at least account for that by correcting the state of his body somewhat.

I'm probably thinking about it too much. I should think about something more useful.

Looking up again, there's no way this control unit is still functioning. The acid from a Fort class attack would most definitely have fried the circuitry in the rear. Hm... If I was killed by a Fort class and the acid dripped down the back, the control unit is the only thing that would've taken fatal damage. The rest of the machine should still be in working condition. If I can remove it, and replace it with a control unit that works, it should work fine. Assuming I died with other TSF's nearby, I should be able to scavenge a functional control unit. No matter what, the front of the control unit will be ripped off because that's how the BETA get to the pilot, but most of the circuitry that controls its function is built into the rear.

Sounds like a plan…

I try to move again, but my limbs are still too heavy. With a sigh, I scoot back into a comfortable position and go back to waiting. Still, it's definitely starting to wear off. Doing that before would've sent me into a coughing fit. It should just be a few minutes at most…

I let my thoughts drift again, and have them fall onto Tama.

"Ha… he called her Miki…" I say that to myself a bit incredulously. I could never see myself calling her that, but I could never see myself falling in love with her either. As this world's Yuuko-sensei would say though, that's just bias. Of course I wouldn't want to think I could fall for anyone but Sumika.

Still… like I concluded before… he isn't me. And such considerations are pointless anyways.

But, using her given name, huh…? Since I know how he thinks, I know how significant that is. Tama is a nickname I gave to her out of a friendly sort of affection. Calling her Miki means he started considering her as a woman at some point.

"I wonder where she is…"

I know she's alive somewhere in this world. Just like with Sumika, the declaration of love had been what had brought me to this place. According to Yuuko-sensei, that means the target of that affection must be here. But… maybe that just means she existed… No, if that was true, then Yuuko would've said as much in our conversation back in the prison. So Tama is definitely alive in this world, but not on this planet… It's somewhere far away, beyond my reach.

The person whose body I now inhabit will have to be the one to determine how to close that distance. I brought him back to life, the rest is up to him. My only objective here is to offer some mercy to Sumika and destroy her…

My thoughts quiet themselves as a way to subconsciously avoid that topic. I try to move again, hoping that I won't be stuck with only that or other equally terrifying things to consider. Thankfully, this time, my body seems to have recovered enough to have a full range of motion. I was sitting in that spot for at least ten minutes thinking about all that stuff, so it's no surprise. My body still feels a bit heavy as I push myself to a standing position, but even though my legs and arms shake with the strain, I manage it just fine.

With that done, I reach out through the shadows to grasp the armrest of the seat and lift it up. The control unit of this TSF is damaged beyond repair, but the eject should still work. It's a mechanical system, not a computer controlled one, meaning that even though the circuitry in the control unit is fried it will still work as intended. It would take an incredibly long time if I tried to pry open the cockpit, and even then I'd still need to use the eject function in order to excise the control unit and the exoskeleton I'll need to scavenge a control unit from another TSF. So, I have no choice but to use the eject regardless.

Still, the eject is not mean to be used from the current position of the TSF. As I clamber into the chair and feel out the gravity, it's clear the mech is lying on its back. The eject launches the control unit out backwards, meaning that not only will I be stopped the instant the unit launches, but the rest of the TSF will be launched forwards. This will most likely cause damage, though nothing severe.

The worrying component of using the eject is definitely that quick stop. It's going to hurt. Thanks to my armored suit, it's unlikely it will kill me. But… it's still definitely going to hurt. I'll just have to put up with it.

After bolting myself into the seat, I notice the rather large hole in the rear of it. It's pretty uncomfortable, though not all that unexpected considering the size of a Fort class's stinger. The point is... that instability is going to make this hurt even more. I sigh as I reach out for the ejection handle, brace myself, and pull. I hear the clamps holding the control unit in place snapping off as the exoskeleton in my chair clamps itself onto my armored suit and the rockets trigger. I'm thrown forward with incredible force, though my exoskeleton keeps me rooted firmly in place as the control unit is rapidly accelerated backwards. Almost immediately afterwards, I'm thrown right back in the opposite direction as the pod crashes into the ground just before the air cushion deploys. I cry out in pain as I feel the entire inside of my body thrown against the back of my ribs.

At the same moment, the air cushion finally deploys, forming a bubble around the control unit as the rockets continue firing. My center of gravity is thrown off rapidly as the pod is thrown into a rapid spin, rolling backwards in an indeterminate direction as my insides are thrown around. It's a struggle to remain conscious, though I'm glad I have no food in my belly to throw up as the direction of my facing is constantly changed. The G-forces at play here are even worse than in a TSF at full speed, and it's not long before what little light I can see seems to be coming from the end of a long tunnel. It takes everything I have just to remain awake as the rockets finally stop firing and I slowly roll to a stop, coughing like a madman from the dust that infiltrated the cockpit from the hole poked through it by the Fort class.

Once the dizziness goes away and I get my bearings, I use the enhanced strength the exoskeleton grants me to grab onto the edges of the front of my control unit. With a push, I manage to rip it off, tossing the door far off into the distance where it skips off the sand before sliding to a stop. I'm suddenly exposed to harsh direct sunlight that forces my eyes closed and my arm up to cover my face. This motion throws my dizziness back into overdrive, forcing me back into my chair for a brief rest. I use the opportunity to get my eyes used to the light, taking deep breaths in order to stay calm as the pain from the ordeal slowly fades away.

It's not really my style at this point, but I decide to go for some comforting optimism.

"Well, at least the worst of it is over…"

This aggravates my nausea, and I have to fight in order to keep the water I've consumed down. Luckily, as with all of my other current health problems, it fades and I'm able to climb free of the cockpit. I look around, but I don't see anything that could help me identify where I am. It's just an endless desert broken frequently by the corpse of a dead BETA or by a destroyed TSF. The only way I'm going to be able to determine where I am, and through that which direction to head in order to reach Yokohama Base, is to get to a functioning control unit. So, I'm very glad that there are other downed TSF's around.

I feel kind of bad thinking that though. Like I'm thankful that someone else died with me…

Shaking that off, I retrieve the TSF's recorder from beneath the seat and jump down from inside of the control unit. This exoskeleton should last plenty long enough using its internal battery, but that's no reason to waste time. My first objective has to be to figure out the exact location of the TSF I just ejected from and examine it to see how much damage ejecting did. It shouldn't have done much, but if I got unlucky and it was damaged beyond repair, then I'll need to find another one.

It's easy enough to find. I just follow the trail left by my ejection and I find it laying face flat a few hundred meters from where I ended up. A cursory inspection is enough to reveal that the body is in good condition, though the weaponry is low on ammo. That's good enough. If there are BETA on the way back, I'm going to have to avoid them. Fighting them with an exposed control unit is a bad idea, and the mission is to escape to Yokohama Base, so it would be unnecessary. Still, if I have to fight, I'd rather use the sword anyways. It's much easier to charge forward using a bladed weapon. Upon closer inspection, it's in perfect condition, so I have nothing to worry about.

The one thing I'm unable to check are the fuel tanks. Doing a manual check is impossible because they're on the rear side of the body, which is against the ground, and without a control unit the display on the side doesn't have power. Even if it's near empty, I can just scavenge fuel from the other TSF's, so it's not a problem. First things first, I need to find a downed TSF with a functioning control unit. I look around, ironically, for the most damaged TSF I can see. Any TSF downed by the Fort class will look pristine, but the acid will have irreparably damaged the circuitry in the rear. So looking at the damaged units first is better since other BETA types are more likely to cause physical damage while going for the pilot.

I'm not looking long, but the TSF I select isn't based on damage… It catches my eye for an entirely different reason. I see… the purple paint… of a Takemikazuchi. It can't be…

I approach it slowly. I don't want to look, but at the same time I can't help looking. I know that even if the control unit inside is intact, it will be useless for repairing my Gekishin… But, I still can't help but look. I wish I didn't. I really do.

The body inside the TSF is barely recognizable, but just from the head… Meiya, her body torn to shreds, and her head which seems barely attached to a body any longer. Dried blood is everywhere. The few remaining pieces of her internal organs which haven't been rended forth by the BETA lay strewn across the outside of her TSF. Inside of the cockpit is even worse, with only bones and occasional pieces of skin remaining. She… even has a pained look on her face. The type you only have when you die in absolute agony.

I can't help it. Even with no food and only water in my stomach, the sight is enough to force me to throw up what little is left onto the ground behind me.

Why… Why did I look goddamnit!?

I'm dehydrated as it is. I know that. So, immediately after I finish throwing up, I drink the rest of the water available in my armored suit even as fresh tears roll from my eyes.

At the same time… I feel a bit better. I know that's a strange thing to say, but in my mind when I see that, something clicks into place.

" _Please shoot, Takeru."_

That memory which has been haunting me feels a lot more reassuring now. This sight… assures me that what I did was a mercy for that Meiya. I wouldn't want her to have died in such a horrid way as the one behind me did. If anything, I now feel guilt for not shooting sooner. For prolonging the suffering she was feeling…

Still, the sadness is there too. As much as that assurance was comforting, that sight I just saw was still horrifying. The two confused emotions wrestle for control of my mind as I move on to another damaged TSF. I pass a couple before I find one that looks like it might work from a distance. The first had clearly been destroyed by a Fort class, and the second had been gnawed through from the back. After fifteen minutes, I find the third one. It's in similar condition to Meiya's Takemikazuchi, but there's less blood.

I approach with dread building in my heart. I am… happy that when I get close enough, I can't tell who the dead pilot is. Their head is missing, and only small bits of the upper body have been torn free. It could be any woman who died here. Still, as I approach, I have to keep my nausea down. Especially as I drag the corpse free of the control unit and drop it to the ground a short distance away.

I'm still thirsty. I still need more water...

Disgusting as it is, I siphon the water from the armored suit of the dead pilot into my own and drink a vast majority of it. It takes all of my willpower to not think about it. I feel relieved when the process is done and I walk back to the dead pilot's TSF. The control unit's interior is stained with blood, and the stench of death is nearly beyond my ability to bear, but as I place myself into the seat… I'm able to bring up the internal systems whose screens are projected onto my eyes thanks to my armored suit. There's a bit of static as a result of the damage, but otherwise it seems the control unit functions.

I take the chance to determine my current location. It looks like… I'm at the tertiary defense line for Yokohama Base. According to the TSF's recorder, this was a last stand to defend against a BETA advance from Sadogashima. Japan had been all but abandoned as most forces fell back to the Americas in anticipation of the G-Bomb strike. Only my unit and a few other patriotic Japanese decided to stay behind and defend Yokohama Base. Of most interest to me is the current date… March 16th, 2006. The migrant fleet has been gone for two years.

"Huh…? Does that mean the G-Bombs have already been deployed?" This confuses me greatly. "But… then… how is Sumika still here?"

I also wonder why I'm here. Why I died in this place. I'm not a patriot of this world's Japan… Well, the evidence should be inside the recorder from my TSF. That should reveal the truth. Good thing I decided to take it with me.

Anyways… I'm just glad to see that the pilot of this TSF was not one of my friends, but just one of the Imperial Guards in training who decided to stick around. It brings a greater sense of relief than what I was expecting… even knowing that my friend's bodies are likely somewhere on this battlefield.

"Enough of this." I order myself. "Let's just install the control unit on my TSF and get out of here."

The order jogs me out of my state of pointless reminiscence and I climb out of the control unit. Undoing the connections that keep the pod in place doesn't take long thanks to the exoskeleton, and it's not long before I have it out of the downed TSF and onto the ground. It takes about an hour, a number of breaks, and the rest of my water to get it back to my TSF and installed. It doesn't have any of my own data, but it will function fine for movement. Yokohama Base isn't that far away, it will only take me an hour or two to reach it at max speed… so I can accomplish my objective without too much delay.

If the BETA were attacking Yokohama, I have to admit I'm a bit worried about running into them. But… considering it seems the G-bombing was successful, I'm hoping that if there are BETA there, they will be few in number. There are an enormous number of BETA bodies on this battlefield I woke up on, so the number that reached Yokohama Base is hopefully smaller. There's even a hope that someone survived and beat them back. Of course, all of this is total conjecture based on limited intel. I'm prepared to fight if I need to. The important thing is that I make it to Yokohama intact and destroy the target without delay.

Objective set in my mind. I push all useless thinking aside, and get my TSF moving. It's incredibly windy and makes the overwhelming stench of death even worse, but through that… I remain focused. I know where my objective is and I've set my mind on reaching it.

There are miraculously no obstacles on my way to Yokohama. The ocean of bodies of both BETA and human evaporate into memory as I pass into open territory, and though I find plenty when I reach the base's edges… they all seem like they've been there for a long time. Days, at least. I don't hear the sounds of any fighting. And… what worries me even more is that hailing the base on comms nets no response whatsoever.

"I have to keep my eyes out for BETA…" I mutter to myself. If there's no response, that means the BETA won this battle. That should mean there are still enemies present. If I let my guard down for even a moment, that would spell my death. Or… that's what I thought. I do an extensive search of the battlefield before entering the base, but there's no one. BETA or human. Everyone here is dead. The silence is deafening.

I don't understand. That must mean humanity lost this battle. But… then where are the BETA? Are they all inside?

Concluding that's the case, I head into the hanger. There's not a single TSF left inside. That means they all met their end in battle. Parting with my own TSF, and the exoskeleton as well, worries me greatly, and I'm glad to find a firearm laying on the floor next to a corpse. Though, I'm not sure whether I'm comfortable being used to the stench and appearance of death as I head into the hallways of the base. I check every corner, look inside every room, listen to every distant sound, and inspect every vibration.

Yet… no matter how long I wait, it seems my caution is unwarranted. There is nothing here except the dead. At least, as far as I can tell. The fact that this place is deserted is almost more disturbing than the number of dead bodies. I even search through the rooms of my dead squadmates without interruption, finding a few things to use to transfer between worlds and laying them out to be retrieved later after my mission is complete.

"What the hell is going on…?" I wonder as hours pass and there's not even the hint of a single soul, human or otherwise. "Was I really only out for a week?"

This place and everything I've seen so far gives off the feeling of a world that died long before I got here. It feels… sort of like I'm walking through a historical ruin. I know that doesn't make sense. I know that someone, somewhere must still be alive. But the location is so unmistakably eerie I can't shake off the feeling of intense loneliness that permeates the location as I walk through so many familiar locations with not a living soul in sight.

Still, I'm smart enough to not let my guard down, and no matter how long it takes, I proceed cautiously floor by floor until I reach my destination. It takes hours, and by the time I get there, I'm exhausted. But… on the plus side, I'm more or less certain that the place is safe when I reach it. Except, now that I'm here, on this floor where I know she is, I can't just put aside my thoughts anymore. I avoid that door as long as possible, searching inside every room, including Yuuko-sensei's office which has long since been abandoned. I remember… that she disappeared, never to be seen again, after the death of Alternative IV in that first timeline. I wonder what happened to her…

Unimportant. Just as with everything else, I push it aside. The objective is already clear. I need to stop hesitating… just because of who it is. Yet, I find myself standing before that door doing just that. I keep telling myself to go. I keep telling myself to stop hesitating. But I can't, and several minutes pass in that unbearable silence before I finally bring myself to open the door and walk down that ever so mysterious hallway. It's hell to control my heartbeat as I push aside the second door and enter the room. I keep my eyes closed initially… but of course I need to open them, so I do, half-hoping that the capsule which contains Sumika will be empty.

But it's not. She's still there. The last time I was here, the brain wasn't here. But now it is. And… looking on it now… knowing who it is… brings forth pain. My heart hurts as tears build in my eyes. I suppress them. I can't cry. If I do… I won't be able to do what needs to be done. This is a mercy. I can't let Sumika live like that, dragging me here to a place where I failed to help her. She's suffering, I need to put her out of that misery.

I need to kill her. I need to kill Sumika.

I raise my gun.

My hands are shaking.

Her face shows up in my mind, smiling.

Flashes of my memories flow steadily through me as my gun shakes, only barely trained on the thin barrier that divides me from her.

I can't cry. I want to cry. I can't cry. I need to shoot. Yet... I can't even put my finger on the trigger.

Sumika. That's Sumika. I know that's Sumika. I don't… want to hurt her.

"But she's already hurting…" I tell myself. "This isn't just for me. This is for her sake too!"

I can't keep making her suffer like this. I know that. I know she would forgive me if I just pulled the trigger. I know she would probably be happy if I just ended it. Yet, still… I don't want to kill Sumika.

"I have no choice!" I yell at myself frantically as the tears start to break through my mental defenses. "I have to shoot! I have to shoot…!"

I start to pull the trigger of the rifle, but at the last second I avert my aim and shoot the wall. I can't stop seeing her face when I stare at my target. No matter how much I try to dehumanize her brain by calling it a target, I can't stop knowing that it's Sumika, and that she's in pain. I can't stop wanting to comfort her instead of wipe her from existence.

"Damn it!" I scream, tears flowing from my eyes. "I don't want to kill Sumika…! I have to kill Sumika! I have to kill her or I'll never be able to go home! I'll never be able to see her again!"

I take aim once again. I place the sights on the direct center of that brain. I focus, I push my emotions aside and stop the shaking. My aim will be true if I just pull the trigger. I envision my own Sumika in my mind, and I envision that I'm shooting at the barrier between us so I can reach her.

But… just as I start to pull the trigger… doubts cloud that instance of clarity, and instead of aiming at a barrier I'm aiming at Sumika again.

" _I need to destroy that Sumika Kagami."_

" _I guess… that's all your capable of."_

"What did she mean by that…?" I ask myself as the shaking starts again.

Damn it, what am I doing? I'm just giving credence to her childish argument by hesitating.

" _Are you really so sure that the answer to the problem you found was the only way there was?"_

It doesn't matter!

But… this isn't a desperate situation… Maybe…

No!

" _There were so many options…"_

"There are no other options here. I'm only capable of so much." I tell myself. I have to do this. I need to stop hesitating. It's just like with Meiya. She was suffering, and I put her out of her misery. I'm glad I did. I saw what could've happened otherwise just a few hours ago.

Could've? No… no… would've.

But really? Was there really no other way?

" _Couldn't you have just tackled me and taken away the gun?"_

…

"I could've… negotiated…" I say to myself, finally admitting a truth that I fervently denied before to protect my sanity. To protect the "strength" instilled into my by my friends and squadmates. "I was doing it before… but… I got so upset because Meiya charged in… I lost control of the situation…"

What am I doing? Even if that's true, why does that matter? Just because there was another way in that situation, doesn't mean there's another way in this one!

"Yuuko-sensei is the one who told me to do this. I shouldn't forget that. She was the one talking about an alternative approach, if there really was one… then…"

" _I guess… that's all your capable of."_

"Agh! Damn it!" I yell out in frustration, tossing my gun away to the side. I know I can't do it. So carrying that thing is pointless. I push my hands onto my temples, grabbing at my hair and bunching it up as a way to channel my anger. "Why did you say that Yuuko-sensei!? Why!?"

" _Was it for the better?"_

" _Only you can answer that question… but, in my opinion, you have lost something valuable that the others would not have wanted you to lose."_

"What is it Kasumi!? What did I lose!?" I cry out these aching questions, trying to find an answer as to why even now... I can't help but hesitate when it comes to Sumika. I crumble to the floor on my knees. "Is it why… I can't do this!? Is it why I can't kill Sumika!? Even if I know it's the right thing to do, is what I lost why I can't do this!?"

"Tell me, Shirogane..." Someone spoke, trailing off as if in disbelief. I never… looked around this room when I entered. The voice is familiar. It's the voice of the one who sent me here, but… different somehow. Older? Wiser? More... pained? I hear the shuffling of clothing as she stands up, and asks a singular question. "Are you... real?"


	8. E12 - P2 - The Right Thing

_**DarkManta: Just keep in mind that TDA isn't considered canon within this story. All of this stuff is the product of my own mind based exclusively on Muv Luv Extra, Unlimited, and Alternative.**_

 _ **Everyone: (There used to be more here but I deleted it because it's no longer relevant, this part is kind of useful to know about my approach to writing the story so I'll leave it.) I've skipped over a lot of what could've been neato "filler" sequences to flesh out the world of the story because I just want to focus on the core narrative I'm trying to tell, so if things seem to be moving a bit fast to you, I've just gotta say that's something that you'll just have to deal with because if I were to fully expand this story to how I'd like it to be it would be a three novel long series totalling close to 500k words. I don't want to commit that much to a Fanfic. Sorry. Still, I hope you enjoy this story for what it is! Have fun!**_

* * *

 **MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

* * *

 **EPISODE 12: REDEMPTION**

 **PART II: The Right Thing**

 _ **Second Draft**_

* * *

I turn about to see the wide-eyed face of Yuuko-sensei. I barely recognize it. Her eyes are gaunt, her hair is severely greyed, and she has lines running through her previously attractive visage. She looks like a ghost as she stumbles towards me with the rifle I had thrown away in hand. She'd apparently caught it, and was holding onto it for dear life, as if… it was her only reason for living at all.

"Shirogane… Shirogane… Are you real…?"

The sight of her is too shocking to speak as she approaches. Her voice makes a chill run through me. Gone is all of the confidence and playfulness essential to her character. It's been replaced by a defeated tone of madness, with only a slight tinge of hope that I'm sure is due to seeing me. I watch silently as she approaches and drops to her knees in front of me.

"Who am I kidding? I've just gone absolutely mad. Hehe... there's even two of you now." She looks to my side. I look, but there's nothing there. But... she speaks in that direction, as if someone is there. "Huh? You think he is real? Cmon Shirogane, that other Shirogane is just a trick you're playing on me right? I never thought you were the trickster type. Hehehe..."

Suddenly, her head snaps to the other direction.

"Oh, please Marimo. Now is really not the time."

"Who... who are you talking to?" I stutter out a question.

"I'm talking to the other you, silly. He's right there." She points to the same spot from before.

"You're hallucinating..."

"No, really?" She wonders sarcastically, before continuing. "Of course I'm hallucinating. Otherwise I wouldn't be seeing two Shirogane's. Also I wouldn't have felt this gun hit me, trying to make me think you were real or something... Can't believe I've finally gone so batty that I can actually feel my hallucinations. Wee!"

She starts lifting the gun up and down in a juvenile manner.

"I can feel the weight and everything! So realistic, but I know better. Shirogane is dead. Everyone is dead. I know because I knew that before I started hallucinating..."

"It's real." I tell her in an urgent tone. "Yuuko-sensei, I'm real."

"Man you're really in a tricky mood today Shirogane. Do you really want to get back at me this bad? Geez..."

Suddenly, something I never thought I'd see happens... tears start running from her eyes. She begins to sob.

"I know I deserve it but I'd really appreciate if you stopped now. I'm already having all of these hallucinations, please stop and give me a break for just a bit... Can't you go back to being the nice Shirogane for a while? You were trying to cheer my up before..."

I kneel down in front of her. I put my hands on her shoulders, and she looks up at me as the tears stop running from her eyes. She's shocked.

"None of my hallucinations ever touched me before."

"I'm not a hallucination Yuuko-sensei. I'm real."

"Oh… I... I see. This is pretty embarrassing. Hi there, Shirogane... How I look now must be pretty shocking, huh? Well… no reason to keep up appearances when there's no one else around to appreciate them. Still, sorry for bothering you. By saying you weren't real, and by crying like that..."

"It's fine, you weren't bothering me. But... when have you ever been the one to apologize for anything?"

"I guess never…" She replies. "But, time has a way of changing things. Changing people. I've figured that out."

"Yuuko-sensei. What happened to you?" I ask, attempting to remove my hands from her shoulders. She stops me, dropping the gun to the ground doing the most unexpected thing possible. Hugging me, and tightly... like she never wants to let go.

"I ran away..." Yuuko answers meekly. I'm so shocked I stammer for a moment, my arms hanging in the air and doing nothing. I sigh, and decide to hug her back awkwardly. With her generous bosom pressed up against my chest, it's a bit difficult, but I manage it. Mostly because I need answers, but also because... I can't help but pity her. Not after seeing something so shocking as Yuuko-sensei crying. The self-assured, playful, and strong Yuuko-sensei crying... and needing a hug... It's all so strange. Is this really the same person?

"Do you mean… you ran away after Alternative IV was cancelled?"

"Yes… I've been alone since then. That's why I started hallucinating. Human beings are social creatures, you know? Even someone like me will get lonely. You're the first person I've seen in four years… The first person I've touched... I really needed this. Sorry to take advantage of you like this Shirogane, I know it's not fair after everything I did..."

She releases me and backs away, gathering up the gun in her arms and hugging it close to her chest.

"How did you run away? How did you survive?" I wonder as I stand up.

"What do you think Shirogane? I was prepared for Alternative IV to be cancelled the whole time. After all, you're not the only person I was hiding things from."

"That doesn't answer my question."

She grins weakly, and explains.

"Well, not in exact terms at least. In exact terms, I have a secret bunker. I had it built from the second we set up shop here. I had people working for me go to the deepest part of this Hive, dig as deep as they possibly could, and stash away all the supplies a single person would need to survive. Then when Alternative IV was cancelled and they were going to try and kick me off of the base and force me to work on something else, I hid down there and continued my research."

"A… bunker? I… see…"

"Surprised the BETA didn't find me? Well, the bunker is especially well hidden, and it's deep enough that unless the BETA expanded the Hive they'd never find me. They never got the chance to do that, because when the UN abandoned this facility, they destroyed the reactor."

I know what that means.

"But… doesn't that mean!?" I flip around, looking over to Sumika. With the reactor gone…

"Shirogane… you know about the ODL purification? For that matter... you knew it was Kagami... How did you know?" Yuuko wonders. Life decorates her features, as she drops the gun to the ground and her gaze grows intense alongside her curiosity. "And, assuming you're real, I thought... No, I am certain you were dead. So how are you here?"

"I'm not from this branch, Yuuko-sensei."

"Branch? You're talking about my Quantum Causality Theory. If you're here, and you know about Kagami..." She closes her eyes, clearly deep in thought. She stands and stares at me as she asks her next question. "Shirogane. Are you from a branch… where I completed the 00 Unit?"

"Yes, and I know everything about you and your plans."

"I guess you must've become a person I could rely on." She says. "Hahaha...! How worthless…"

"What do you mean...?"

"My standards are warped like yours must be. If I trusted you, then you've lost your way like I did. Of course, I wasn't really thinking about that back then. Being alone for four years has a way of making you reflect. Only now do I realize how repulsive I was."

She hugs herself and looks down at the gun as she continues.

"In that branch where I finished the 00 Unit… I'm sure it was you who made that happen Shirogane. It's not something I ever could've done alone. I'm not capable of thinking in a way that would make saving the world possible. It's no wonder I failed, I needed someone like you. The world did."

I'm stunned by this Yuuko-sensei's words. They're so foreign to me. She is weighed down by regrets and her personality isn't anything like that other person I remember. It's hard to think of them as the same person.

"Still, by the end, I definitely corrupted you." Yuuko-sensei continues. "You were ready to shoot when you came in here. To kill her, someone you so obviously care for. I'm sure that in the end that world you saved is no better off than this one. After all, as long as the world thinks my way of thinking is correct, destruction is the inevitable end."

"Stop rambling and say what you mean, would you!?" I shout the question in frustration. I feel this need to know what she's trying to say. I don't know why, but I feel like beneath all the insane babbling that there's something that will answer the questions I was yelling at myself about just a few minutes ago.

"I'm saying that my approach is flawed Shirogane. The ends... they don't justify the means." She makes a simple statement that holds great power. I fall silent as I consider those words. Meanwhile, she looks over to the spot where she's apparently hallucinating another me.

"Yea, I know... I'm sorry."

She then casts a glance over in the other direction towards where she is apparently hallucinating Marimo.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I know you don't agree, but that's just because of how you were raised. It's this damn world..."

I ignore her, and busy myself with my own thoughts.

" _The ends don't justify the means."_

Something valuable… I lost something valuable.

Since then, what have I done?

I've killed a man without hesitation and justified it to myself by saying it was necessary.

I came to this world with a singular objective to kill someone I love.

I've relentlessly defended the taking of such actions without forethought.

These actions… are the result of what I lost.

"You know Shirogane, you didn't shoot in the end." Yuuko-sensei suddenly looks right at me and points something out. Then, she sits down cross-legged against the brain's container as she watches me struggle with something in my mind. Looking down at the floor, she continues. "You tried and tried to justify it to yourself. You tried and tried to make yourself do it. But, in the end, you couldn't do it. If I truly succeeded in twisting your mind around my thumb, you would've pulled the trigger. Never... have I been so glad to see I failed."

A long moment passes as I consider what she said. I respond in a quiet, thoughtful tone.

"No, you did succeed Yuuko-sensei. Not on your own though. I had to lose a lot before I could start to see things from your point of view."

"Ah… so even someone as strong as you took the easy way out in the end." She looks up at me as she says that, as hints of her old mischievous smile crawl into her tired expression.

"Strong?" I close my eyes as I say the word in disgust, for myself. I continue in much the same way. "I'm not strong… I'm the weakest person in this world."

"I don't think so Shirogane." Yuuko says. She stands, and places her hand against her chin as the grin widens, and I begin to see more and more of the old Yuuko come to life in front of me. At least, in a way... She closes her eyes as she continues. "I think you're the strongest person I've ever met. What you just did by not shooting was proof of that to me."

"W-What?"

She opens her eyes again. The grin disappears from her face, replaced by a confident expression as she speaks in a determined tone.

"Even as twisted as you've become, as much of your humanity this world has robbed, you still managed not to pull the trigger."

"But, that's just me hesitating because when it comes to Sumika, I'm too weak to do what has to be done. I've managed to become a person who can do whatever is necessary, but when it comes to her… I just can't be that way."

She smiles.

"So, it seems to me... that the thing that keeps you linked to your humanity is her."

"I-I don't… understand…" I reply with little confidence.

Her expression falls, and she glares at me as she explains.

"Not hesitating is the easy way out Shirogane. Thinking things through is one of the hardest things a human being can do. That confusion is the hardest emotion to deal with. We want to resolve it as quickly as possible, so we rush to make a decision. Or even worse… we force ourselves to avoid that process at all. And, because we emotionally consider the resulting action to be something which is hard to do, it makes us think that it's strength to do it. But, tell me Shirogane, did the other me ever express any regret for her actions at all?"

I start to speak, but she stops me by crossing her arms in front of her chest, looking down at the ground, and answering her own question.

"Of course not. Who could deal with being the person I am if they had a moral code? If they had their humanity intact? If you throw out your ability to think things through, your ability to consider whether something is right or wrong, then you don't have to deal with something as silly as regrets. You can just make the excuse of the action you took being necessary. It's something that had to be done. If so, who cares if that action was wrong? There was no other option, after all."

She swings her angry, mournful gaze back up to meet mine.

"Is that not how you've been thinking recently Shirogane?"

I remain silent for a long time as I process what she said. Yuuko does as well, apparently satisfied with her words. I close my eyes, and think it through.

If her words are true… then the valuable thing I lost… is the humanity Yuuko-sensei is talking about. I can't toss aside her words. They're too accurate to how I've been thinking and what I've been doing ever since I left that world.

"Thank you… Yuuko-sensei…" I open my eyes, and I say it. Her words ring true, no matter how long I roll them over in my mind.

She looks away as she responds. Her voices carries disgust and hatred, both for herself.

"Don't thank me. I don't deserve it. I'm the one who made you this way Shirogane. It's my job to undo what I did, to repair you in any way I can. It's a way of redeeming myself."

"Well… you'll have plenty of time for it. I don't think that I'm going to be able to accomplish my mission after all." I tell her. "I mean… unless she's going to die because the reactor is gone…"

"That's not going to happen." Yuuko says, turning about and focusing her eyes on the brain's container. She hesitantly reaches out and places her hand against it. "I may have given up on myself, but… I can't give up on this. I don't know why. I guess I'm just stubborn. It certainly stopped being about humanity a long time before I even started. So it must be about me... Either way, I didn't spend the last four years researching this for nothing. I figured out how to rig a device that keeps this chamber powered and operating."

"How long has the base been like this? I only died in this world a week ago." I ask, climbing to my own feet.

"A few days. The UN evacuated wholesale once they blew up the reactor, and with no more enemies and no more Hive, the BETA abandoned it as well. I'm pretty sure they would've abandoned it anyways. There's not enough of them left to be spread so thin as to be here in Japan."

"So the G-Bombing was successful?"

"Yes. Everywhere but the Americas is an unlivable wasteland, and even they are suffering adverse effects from the world's ecosystem being so thoroughly obliterated. They won't last long anyways. Their military forces have been getting beat down by the remnants of the BETA for over a year. The United States government has collapsed and what's left has split into separate groups of resistance factions. The UN is the last remaining united military on the planet, and they lost more than three quarters of their remaining forces attempting to guard this base."

"So… that's why he stayed…" I trail off. "There's nowhere else to run."

"That's right. They'll regroup at the UN base in Cuba, but at current… they don't have much hope of survival. It's all just a matter of time… So, whatever the BETA want to do. They'll be able to complete it for sure now."

"They're gathering resources." I explain. "For their creators, whoever they are. The BETA are just organic machines sent out to gather resources. They think we're like them. They don't consider carbon-based organisms to be life. Their definition is limited to organisms like their creators, silicon-based life."

"I… I see… How…?"

"The BETA have a leader at Objective 1 in Kashgar. I confronted it during the final attack operation, communicated with it through Kasumi and Sumika, and destroyed it, which has basically won us the war on that other Earth. The BETA have no intelligence without it. Though… there's a strong possibility that there are other BETA leaders on Mars and the Moon."

"Then… we're doomed." Yuuko concludes. "Humanity doesn't have the military forces to fight back anymore. There's no way we'd be able to mount any kind of successful attack on Mars or the Moon. We've lost already. But…"

She clenches her fist as a wide, confident grin crosses her face. She looks to the invisible Marimo.

"We can do it. I believe."

She looks to Shirogane, and a with a nod, she says...

"I knew you'd agree Shirogane."

Then, she looks back to me...

"Shirogane, maybe you can't complete your mission here, but… you can still help me save this world. It's a long shot, but... Are you willing to do that?"

"Well, I have to live here until Sumika dies, so I don't see any reason why not…"

" _I guess… that's all your capable of."_

Wait a second… Why would she have said that unless…?

"Yuuko-sensei, let me ask you something."

"Of course. Anything if I can get you on my side for this."

"The other Yuuko-sensei that sent me here said something weird. My mission was to come here to destroy Sumika, because all of the different copies of her across all the branches are turning me into a causality conductor across worlds, and also unless they're pull is significantly weakened, I can't return to my own world."

Her grin fades as she falls to a thoughtful expression. Scratching her shin, she responds.

"Hm, yes, I see…"

"When she sent me here, I said that my mission was to destroy Sumika. But, she said back, 'I guess that's all your capable of'. Doesn't that imply…?"

"That there's another way? Yes... it does. I doubt I would've said that if there wasn't." She closes her eyes, and several seconds pass with her in deep thought. She continues in a thoughtful voice. "But... she didn't tell you because she didn't think that you'd be able to do it with the way you were when you left."

Confidence bleeds into her voice as she continues.

"I agree with her on that. There's no way that other path would be open to you unless you're the way you are now."

"So, you know how I can find a way back to my own world then?"

"Yes, I do, and it just so happens that the way back to your world is paved with the path to the salvation of this world."

"I see…" I'm a bit dubious of being taken advantage of by yet another Yuuko-sensei. Especially this one.

"I'm not lying to you for my own reasons Shirogane." She says, recognizing my distrust. "I... I know that I've never done anything for you to suggest I wouldn't, but I'm being honest here. I swear."

I sigh, and I decide to trust her. This Yuuko-sensei is very different from the other one. She seems to have suffered much, and realized how flawed she is as a person. She deserves a chance. And so, I give her one, as with a nod I reply...

"I understand. So can you explain?"

"I certainly can."

Yuuko turns to face Sumika.

"Now, since I'm not lying to you, I will say that you don't need to save this world completely to get home. Only the beginning of my plan to save this world is shared with your goals."

"I understand." I say, nodding. That confession makes me more confident in my decision to trust her.

"I'll put this simply then. We must complete the 00 unit, you must tune it, and then you have to convince Kagami to let you go. If you can do this in every branch, then you can go home."

"Huh…?"

"She is the one making you a causality conductor, correct? That's the only reason your plan would be to destroy her as far as I can tell."

"Y-Yes."

"She's doing that through her will. If you can eliminate that will, then you can stop her from turning you into a causality conductor across worlds."

"I understand. So, I can have her release her grip on me without killing her."

"Exactly. I'm sure it will be difficult, but…"

"Killing her would be the easy way out."

She nods, turning back to me. She has that grin again, only this time the last piece seems to have fallen into place. It's the same as it used to be, filled with boundless energy. She drops it as she becomes serious.

"Now, restoring the 00 unit will help my plan. That's all I can really expect from you. So, anything after that would be a favor for me. A favor for this world."

"I understand, and I don't care what it is. Yuuko-sensei. I want to help you save this world. I have to because I made a promise to him."

"Him?"

"Well... it's kind of hard to explain… but… in order to get here, I had to connect with the version of me in this branch. I let him take over my body so that he could open the bridge. I promised to open a path to his desire, his desire to see the one he loves again. Miki Tamase."

Yuuko's jaw drops a little bit.

"Do you understand what this means, Shirogane?" She asks, rushing forward and grabbing me by the shoulders excitedly.

"Uh... what?" I wonder.

"By saving this branch, you can save every single one of them at once. You can carve your path home from here, instead of travelling to each and every place yourself."

"How would I…?"

"What you did in order to get here is something I didn't know was possible. This indicates a direct link between you and your past selves. If you can transfer consciousness over that link, if you can use that link to bring other versions of you back to life, you can transfer anything. Such as knowledge. The knowledge of how to save the world and bring Sumika back to life."

I understand what she's saying now.

"I'll have to figure out exactly how to do that… but… yea… I think you're right." I tell her. "We can do this."

"Of course I'm right Shirogane." Yuuko says, she continues with both the grin and a mischievous tone. "I may have screwed up being a human being, but I've never screwed up being a scientist."

Suddenly, she frowns, and I feel bad news coming.

"Still, I don't want you to get overconfident, and I'm not going to lie to you. The plan I'm about to propose to you for saving the world is not a very good one as far as my objective mind is concerned. It relies on the inventions of an admittedly crazy woman who sees and speaks to other people she knows aren't actually there on a regular basis." She looks sideways to her hallucinations, and then back at me. "It's also incredibly risky, and if I was my old self… I'd never propose it. It's a Shirogane style plan. An idealistic plan."

"I understand, and no matter what it is, I promise I'll go along with it. Just tell me the details."

"Very well. Thank you for your confidence, Shirogane." Yuuko says this with an uncharacteristically cheery smile. "Now, to break things down, I'll go step-by-step.

"The first step is of course what we just went over. I will complete the 00 unit."

"How do you plan to do that, Yuuko-sensei?" I wonder. "You don't have the equations here… and do we have the power generating capacity on this base to use the temporary transit device?"

"Don't worry about it Shirogane. Losing my mind carries some benefits, namely that I was able to think far enough outside of the box that I completed the equations on my own. I can build the 00 unit successfully all on my own. The technology needed to manufacture the body is easy enough to use, though I'm afraid that I'll need your help for at least one thing. Her physical appearance."

"The other you managed to build the 00 unit without my help in that department." I point out.

"The other me had more resources. Namely, she had Kasumi to extract images from Kagami's mind, but as the Kasumi in this world left on the migrant fleet, I'll need to use you instead. A simple picture will not suffice, or even multiple, I need inch-by-inch details. The kind of thing I can get directly from human memories."

"How am I supposed to give you that?"

Yuuko smirks.

"You've slept with her, haven't you?" She wonders. My face instantly goes red.

"Y-Yes." I respond. "But… how are you going to get those memories out of me without Kasumi?"

"As long as you're cooperative, I've built a device that should do the trick of translating mental signals into perfect images. It's not completely done yet, but that's just because I'm the only test subject."

"That seems like an oddly convenient device, Yuuko-sensei…"

"I'm a genius who literally went mad, and I've had four years to build anything and everything I knew I might need to complete Alternative IV. You'll find many of my recent inventions were made with executing my current farfetched plan in mind. You'll do well as a substitute for this world's second Takeru Shirogane, for sure."

"Ah… I see. That does make sense."

"I'll apologize in advance for the sacrifice of your modesty."

I certainly don't want my sex memories in Yuuko-sensei's hands, but… it's a sacrifice worth making. I just didn't think this would be the hard way…

"Let's just move passed this please." I say. "Okay, so, the first step is to build and tune the 00 unit. What's after that?"

"Step two is to complete the construction of the XG-60."

"The… what? Don't you mean the XG-70?"

"Ah, so you know about it. Anyways, it's a two-seater TSF I've been working on that uses a miniature version of the Moorcock Lechte Engine and carries a Charged Particle Cannon rifle. You will be the Eishi who controls it while Sumika Kagami as the 00 unit will coordinate the use of the Rutherford Fields. Though, their defensive use is not as powerful as with the XG-70, and fitting a power source capable of driving the miniature MLE was not easy. It won't protect against direct hits and if you're swarmed with BETA it will quickly be overpowered. Still, it's most definitely a trade-off, what you're losing in defensive capability is made up for in an enormous way by the increase in mobility. This is a TSF with limitless ammunition for as long as the fuel lasts, after all."

"Okay, it's a TSF. I see. Why do we need a TSF, though? You can't possibly plan to…?"

"Think about it Shirogane, humanity no longer has the military might to directly oppose the BETA. Our only chance is negotiation. You've proven that's possible."

"I understand. But, we can't just make this TSF, we also need to create the XM3 in this world. It's a prototype operating system you designed in the other world based on my ideas of TSF handling."

"I see… I never talked with this world's Shirogane much about TSF piloting, so we'll need to go through whatever process you went before if we want to make this. If I may ask, why is this a necessity?"

"It was a huge increase into the effectiveness of our TSF's. Believe me, it's absolutely essential if you want us to survive an attack on Objective 1. Speaking of… how much of the TSF's OS is contained in an armored suit?"

"Shirogane, are you sure I'm the genius here!? That's it! Your armored suit should still contain massive amounts of data on your 'XM3'. With your help I should be able to rebuild it to an identical state within a couple of hours at most."

"Whoa, that's great. Can you also get map data of Objective 1?"

"I can. That should make constructing your infiltration route much easier. It's too bad we don't have the flight recorder from whatever TSF you flew on that mission…"

"Well, we can't help that. But Yuuko-sensei, what's step three?"

"Operation Cherry Blossom."

If I had a drink, I would've spit it out.

"You want us to assault Objective 1 with a single TSF!? Are you insane!?"

"Huh, so I called that attack the same thing in the other world, did I? Anyways, yes, I do. I told you this plan was risky..."

"There are hundreds of thousands of BETA even along the best route to the main chamber. We barely survived, and we had the XG-70 along with five reinforcement TSFs which were all destroyed. We were even dropped from orbit and only allowed to infiltrate thanks to the sacrifice of an American unit keeping our entrance open. There is no way in hell this mission can be successful with a single TSF, even one as powerful as you say the XG-60 is."

"I see… Well, Shirogane, this is the only plan I have. If you want to save this world, you have to reach the primary objective. Providing you with the XG-60 and the 00 unit is the best I can do… and of course the area has already been decimated by G-bombs. The BETA are not as populous as they were before. The odds are incredibly slim I agree, but it's our only chance."

I remain silent for a long moment as I consider her words. Even with the BETA weakened severely by G-bomb strikes, there's no way in hell the defenses on Objective 1 are that scant as long as the BETA still exist. Still…

"Yuuko-sensei, how much of the BETA's forces are committed to the offensive?" I wonder with crossed arms.

"A vast majority as far as I can tell. About eighty-percent, for a total of an estimated number of one million BETA. That would mean Objective 1 is defended by at least two-hundred thousand BETA. I could be wrong, I have no way to gather data from within Objective 1, and these estimates are based on data from months ago when the BETA regrouped after the bombs fell, and estimates of the damage based on satellite observation. There's no telling how many survived the bomb strikes on Objective 1 and remain underground."

"So this attack is just barely feasible for the XG-60… I understand. But we need to improve these odds. They're too stacked against us."

"There's only one way we'd be able to do that. To enlist aid." Yuuko says. "I didn't bring it up earlier, but it's the only approach in order to improve our chances. If we at least got help from the UN, then the operation might succeed."

"Can't we get help from everyone who's still out there? Don't they know how badly humanity is doing?"

"The propaganda the citizens and military forces have likely been exposed to by the leadership in order to prevent a panic makes that unlikely…"

"Then we have to tell them Yuuko-sensei. Humanity is on the brink of death, why are we keeping secrets from each other?"

"I imagine for the same petty reasons as humans kept secrets from each other in the other world. Nationalistic pride and such."

"Then we need to get rid of that."

"How do you hope to overcome…?"

"By telling them the truth. The whole truth. Absolutely everything. No more secrets. We broadcast all of the data left on this base to the entire world, along with a request for aid on Operation Cherry Blossom… No… Operation Earth."

Yuuko-sensei grins.

"Sounds like an idealistic plan Shirogane." She says. I smile back at her.

"Maybe that's just what this world needs, Yuuko-sensei. A Shirogane style plan..."

"I can't help but agree more. But we'll need to do more than tell them the whole truth Shirogane, you'll need to give a heroic speech."

"You can't be serious… you'd be better at that than me…" I scratch myself on the back of the head as I say that.

"No Shirogane. It has to come from you. You are the only one who can say the things that need to be said from the heart. I truly believe that."

"I've never said anything in public in my life!"

"That's exactly why people will believe you."

I fall silent and think about it. Giving a speech… and not just any speech… a speech that might very well determine the fate of the human race in this world. That's a fairly daunting task. But, at the same time, I think Yuuko-sensei makes some pretty good points. These people have been lied to by politicians for decades. These countries have kept secrets in the war against the BETA, and the other world I lived through shows the lengths petty nationalism can go to in this world. My perception of those things has shifted to be sure. I think the reasons for such things are even a bit beyond me. But… I think that's just because I care for Meiya. She's my friend, and tearing something down which she felt so strongly about was too difficult.

Then again, as I've learned here, avoiding topics like that is just childish. It's taking the easy way out. Doing the right thing is hard, and after everything I've done… I owe it to myself to do the right thing. I owe it to myself to throw aside the flaws in the lessons that have been taught to me. By Meiya, by Isumi, and by Yuuko-sensei. I think… I need to focus on one specific lesson they didn't teach me, but embodied. Fighting for the thing they believed in. My beliefs contradicted theirs, and I too readily threw those beliefs aside because of that.

I think it's time I pick them back up, and I don't think it's insulting them to do so. And… even if it was, that's just another petty reason to push doing the right thing aside. Strong individualism or patriotism… neither of those are what humanity needs to save itself. I'm not denying those things have value, but there's also a time to set them aside for the greater good. The leaders here decided that those things were worth more than the survival of humanity. I'm not going to make that decision. I'm not going to make considerations for who rules in a post-BETA world or any of that other political crap. I'm going to believe that humanity can work together when the chips are down, if they just have someone to tell them that it's the right thing to do.

In the other world, even when it came down to it, we still didn't work together. Everyone didn't send all of their forces to help with Operation Cherry Blossom. Even we weren't completely honest with everyone, choosing not to accept assistance from others on the way to the primary objective. Sure, maybe there were reasons for it, but it all ties back to humanity not working as a cohesive unit. I'm not going to repeat that this time. If we are going to get the BETA to acknowledge us as living beings, we have to do it by working together despite our differences.

We all have to work together for the sake of this planet. That's why I decided to call it Operation Earth.

"Okay Yuuko-sensei. I'll do it." I say, determination flaring within me. "I'll do my best to try and convince everyone to work together."

"That's good to know Shirogane. Now, I'd best get started on my work. In the meantime, maybe you should do your best to clean some things up. I know it's unreasonable… but…"

"No, I agree. I should at least bury some of the bodies and get the BETA corpses out of the halls. It's not just disturbing, but it's going to get in the way. Especially if this is going to be a staging point for Operation Earth."

"That name is really cheesy Shirogane."

"I know, but… to use your words… that's exactly why people will believe me."

She reaches out her hand for a shake, and I take it. With a nod, she leaves… talking animatedly with her hallucinations.


	9. E12 - P3 - Heart

_**Hey everybody, sorry for the long hiatus there! Writing up to the last chapter is honestly just a large blur in my head. One chapter a day for 8 straight days is no joke! Just know though that no matter what happens, I'll never lose the drive to finish this story. In fact, the entire rest of it is already planned out, I just need to get the words onto the page. I'll try to work a bit faster.**_

 _ **Oh and by the way, I really recommend re-reading the previous chapter. I made some incredibly significant edits that are referenced in this chapter as if you already know what I'm talking about. Yuuko's behavior is a lot closer to where I wanted it to be now! I also did a re-editing of all the previous chapters, though nothing as extensive. Most of the errors on those should be iron'ed out now though. I try to check my work for errors whenever I get the time (and I needed to re-read the previous chapters this time to put my head back in context anyways).**_

 _ **Anyways, enjoy!**_

* * *

 **MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

 **EPISODE 12: REDEMPTION**

 **PART III: Heart**

* * *

 _ **Second Draft**_

* * *

The mechanical arm of the TSF whines as I pat down the last piece of Earth on the final grave. The last few days have been grueling work. The first day, I gathered the bodies of all of the BETA and burned them. The second onward I dragged every single human being I could find outside and buried them in a series of unmarked graves. The TSF made the second part easier, but the first had taken even someone as fit as I am several breaks to accomplish. After all, the bodies had numbered in the thousands if you count the BETA… and the BETA are not light at all.

As I bring the TSF back into dock and disembark, I continue to turn over in my thoughts the problem I now face while ignoring the smell of the viscera still coating the walls and floors. No cleaning those up myself.

Anyways, I'm not speechwriter, and yet I'll need a speech. I've tried and tried, and yet it all seems so hackneyed and forced. All so fake… As I retire to my room, the same one I'd called home for a while, I find the proof of the extent of my failure in this regard stacked so high it forms a pyramid on top of my small trash can. The hundreds of crumpled pieces of paper tell of my uncertainty far better than I ever could. As I sit at the desk and bring pen to paper for the thousandth time, I consider what to say.

I sit in that moment for a very long time, before I sigh and set the pen down. Staring at the dot my pen had left on the paper, I think it through. I think that over the past few days that every time I've found myself at this desk, I've thought about the inspirational people I've met and try to recreate what they would say. But even when I write a perfect speech, it's always in their words, and because of that it is always a fake. Just a facsimile of someone else. They're words that I could never deliver with honesty, and thus they are entirely useless.

Trying again to seek inspiration, I look through the items I brought from my allies various empty rooms. There's plenty of stuff. Yoroi's dog tags, Class Rep's extra pair of glasses, Ayamine's letters from Sagiri, Meiya's sword… I didn't feel the need to look for Tama's, her Christmas Gift was still here. The one that catches my eye the most is the sword. I pick it up, draw it, and lay it out on the desk. Using that, I think about Meiya… and about her sister Yuuhi. They were both very inspiring in their own ways.

Meiya understood my feelings and confronted them at every turn. She inspired me to keep going as my Noble Confidant. But… she could also be very harsh about it, and I've come to see that there were things that while inspired me, drove me forward, also destroyed the person I was. In that way, I don't want to take much inspiration from Meiya. If we're going to make this a joint operation to save the world, then I can't have it be done in a way that costs everyone who participates their humanity. That humanity is what will be needed to keep them together once the operation is done, and they will need that to defend themselves in the future.

Yuuhi though… I think I can take inspiration from her. I didn't know Yuuhi very well, but she was very noble, and hers is the only inspiring speech I've truly witnessed. She took responsibility for her faults as a leader, and she understood why the other side decided to fight. And through that… she managed to inspire unity. And so I try writing with that in mind, but when I finish and read it over… I realize that almost word for word, it's another copy of what she said. Yet again, they aren't my words…I'm not even frustrated anymore, just tired as I crumple the sheet of paper into a ball and throw it into the bin.

I look over the items I collected again, and I decide to pick up the flowers from Tama. It is his world after all, so maybe I should think a little bit more about what he would do. And these flowers… now that I think about it, they've been here for a very long time. Years. And he kept them alive the entire time, because they were valuable to him. As I think this, I'm jolted into recalling what the flowers mean.

"A small love."

I can't help but smile at the thought. The thought that this was likely the most thoughtful gift out of all of them, and that more than any of the others it truly comes from the heart. It's simple and straightforward in that it carries a meaning that can be expressed in just a few words. Yet it's also complex and nuanced in that work went into making it possible. And that simple realization finally tells me what I need to do, as I remember this Yuuko-sensei's words and realize how stupid I've been.

" _It has to come from you. You are the only one who can say the things that need to be said from the heart."_

And so there's the answer, I need to give my words from the heart. That means on the spot. Thinking ahead and writing something scripted will always be fake, prepared. It won't be genuine and honest. The world needs to hear words born directly of my experiences and beliefs, influenced by nothing else but what I'm feeling in the moment. Just like the flowers embodied Tamase's love for him, my words need to embody my desire to unite everyone to work together and save the world.

"Thanks Tama…" I whisper as I set the flowers back down and stand. I leave the room with a smile which I struggle to maintain as I head out into the hallways and am enveloped by the scent of death. Still, I tough it out and descend far enough into the facility that the smell of the dead fades into the smell of machinery and rocks. Yuuko had showed me the route to reach her new bunker on one of my breaks from cleaning, and it's easy enough to retrace my steps to the chain of elevators she'd set up. Yuuko had salvaged the generators herself and gotten them running again, and had effected any necessary repairs to the metal lines suspending the platforms that take passengers both up and down.

The trip is long despite this. The elevators run all the way down to the bottom of the main shaft 700 meters down, so far down that Yokohama stops looking like a military base and more like the Phase 3 Hive it was originally. Directions to reach the final lift are easy enough to interpret thanks to the signs put up by Yuuko-sensei, but… it's an eerie trip. Straight through a large drift that immediately gives me uncomfortable flashbacks to the original Operation Cherry Blossom. Though… I had it easy, thanks to the Susano'o, the others went through much worse… and they didn't come back.

I shudder a bit, but take a deep breath and press on until I find a tunnel that's been dug into the side of the drift by human equipment. It's dark inside, but lights trigger on once they detect my movement and I make my way deeper without any issue. And deeper, and deeper… Eventually I've been walking for so long I question whether or not there's an end, but then I finally reach it. An enormous metal platform that fades into the rock so well that you could distinguish it as just floor if not for the thin gap between it and the ground. It's impossible to see how far down the lift goes until you turn it on, and as I do and it begins to slide downwards at an angle, I look up to see a great metal barrier. I would call it a hatch, but there is no obvious way to open it. As it disappears, I bring my eyes back down to the platform and reach a conclusion.

"This platform is for transporting anything Yuuko-sensei needs upwards, so that barrier must open somehow for when she needs to get something out…" I think aloud, pacing and looking around as the descent starts to drag on and I need something to busy myself with. "But… it needs to not look like a hatch from above, or this place would be found. I wonder how many people knew about this…"

I half expect a response from Yuuko jumping out of nowhere like this is some kind of sci-fi novel. I'm disappointed when the elevator just keeps descending without acknowledgement of my thought. With a sign, I continue my pondering.

"She wasn't kidding when she said she hid this bunker deep underground. But I guess to evade the BETA, she'd need to be. I've found bodies all over the base, and that means they had to have been down here, but she still wasn't detected…"

My descent continues. I can't even see the top of the shaft anymore. Looking upward just results in endless blackness, and the only light right now is from the lamps on the platform itself. The lack of noise other than the platform scraping against the rock also compliments the atmosphere, and so I keep talking to myself.

"She said she built something to keep Sumika alive after the reactor was destroyed. That's pretty impressive, I wonder how it works…"

I'm relieved from having to continue the thought as the platform finally reaches its destination and comes to a stop. A long, large hallway resembling a drift from the Hive above us extends in front of me, lit by hundreds of maps. I follow it hesitantly all the way to the end, where an enormous set of metal doors waits for me. Sweeping my eyes around for a way in, I see a much more human-sized door on the bottom right. I try to open it, but the handle won't budge, so I look around for a doorbell. There's nothing. I'm about to get frustrated when I look up and see there's a camera above the door.

"Yuuko-sensei? Are you there?"

A few moments pass and I hear a click from the door. I tentatively reach forward and tug on the handle again, it gives way this time and I step inside into a type of security office. It's empty, but there's another door in the back. I ignore the suite of computers showing feeds from cameras across Yokohama Base and enter through the other door. The room I find inside is reminiscent to a hanger, and if it wasn't for all of the other stuff besides the four incomplete TSF's arrayed against the back wall that's what I would call it. As it is, there are a ton of things, ninety-nine percent of which I couldn't even begin to consider the function of. Some it's small, and some of it is downright enormous. Yuuko-sensei herself however is nowhere to be seen. However, she is somewhere to be heard. I hear the sound of machines operating in the distance, a series of buzz saws and lasers singing metal. By following the noise to its source, I come across a room leading off the side. Its doors both hang open, and Yuuko-sensei stands frozen in place watching a machine at work.

I almost feel bad to interrupt such a tranquil moment.

"Yuuko-sensei?"

She looks to her right, but not at me.

"Did you say something Shirogane? No?"

She looks to her left.

"Not you either Marimo? Another hallucination then…"

"Not a hallucination, the real Shirogane." I say. I add. "Behind you."

This makes her turn around. She blinks as she sees me, then looks from to invisible Shirogane to me.

"Yuuko-sensei, I'm real. I said I'd come down here as soon as I figured my speech out, and besides didn't you just let me in?"

"Ah, that's a good point. I thought that was just another hallucination. I don't usually hear stuff from the loudspeaker, but I usually unlock the door with a voice command just in-case. Good thing I did. Otherwise you would've come all the way down here for nothing. Hehe… suddenly I wish I did that."

"Um…"

"Just a joke Shirogane, you should lighten up a bit. Now come on."

Suddenly she walks past me and out into the hanger. My mouth hangs open for a second as I follow her with my eyes, but with a sigh (I'm doing that a lot these days) I shut it and follow her. Then I open it up again to speak.

"Yuuko-sensei, what was that machine back there doing?"

"It's building the 00-Unit's core body. It's like a robotic skeleton before it's overlaid with all the bits that make it look human."

"She is human…"

"Well, not yet."

"You know, the other you… She seemed to think that making the 00-Unit was effectively killing Sumika. Like the 00-Unit was basically just impersonating Sumika. I believed her at first, but…"

"You fell in love with it. So you began to see it… sorry, her… differently."

"Yes. Regardless of anything, the 00-Unit was definitely Sumika. It took her a bit to get there… but it was her, I know it."

"You're trying to reassure yourself before you do it again."

"Of course I am. If what we're doing is going to kill Sumika, then I can't go through with it. And you know why."

Yuuko-sensei stops and turns to face me.

"Well, here's the way I see it. The way she saw it. Since I'm being honest with you…" She begins to say, seemingly examining my expression to see if it's a good idea. I give her a nod and she continues. "To create the 00-Unit, we create a copy of all of the data in Kagami's brain. In order to do that, we must remove the brain from the container. We don't have the technology to keep it alive once the process is done, and since the data in the 00-Unit's quantum brain is essentially just a copy, it is not human. So the brain, the real Sumika Kagami in my opinion, is killed in order to create the copy that is necessary for the 00-Unit to work."

I remain silent for a long time as I consider Yuuko's words. Even knowing that confession might make me back out, Yuuko maintains an unflappable expression. I wonder if that's because she's sure I'll decide to do the right thing, or if that's because she's not confident in herself anymore after all the things she's done.

"I… I don't see it like that. Like I said, regardless of anything, the 00-Unit was definitely Sumika. Maybe the data that made it possible for her to live was a copy, but it was her. She was the same person I always knew, that I love. She had gone through a lot of trauma, and so she was changed, but she was still Sumika."

"And I would suppose that you would know the difference." Yuuko says, scratching her chin and closing her eyes before grinning. "I trust your words. You and that girl were best friends for your entire lives, correct?"

"Yes, and eventually more than that. And… she was the same that way too."

"In that case, I would believe you over even the Turing Test. If anything was out of place, you most definitely would've sensed it…"

I fall silent as she turns and begins to move again. I don't follow, as I continue to turn it over and over in my mind. I examine every memory I have of Sumika, and every memory I have of the 00-Unit. Trying to spot the differences, trying to spot if there was something out of place in the way the 00-Unit behaved that couldn't have been the result of everything she'd gone through. She really was Sumika… right?

Yuuko flips around once she realizes I'm not following. She looks in both directions, as if hearing someone talk to her. She nods and walks back over to me. I look up at her, temporarily distracted from my thoughts.

"I understand doubting yourself, Shirogane. That's all I do these days. But, you should realize that unlike me, the person who you were before you were corrupted never led you astray. I'm sure that in this case you are right. And that this copying we're doing is actually more of an… extraction." Yuuko suddenly grins as a flash of inspiration catches in her eyes. "And I can prove it."

"How could you do that?"

"Shirogane, if Kagami was the thing that made you a causality conductor… if she was the thing who was keeping you there… if she truly died when we made the 00-Unit, then you would've disappeared from that world long before Operation Cherry Blossom. If she was truly just an artificial intelligence, without a soul or true feelings, emulating Sumika Kagami without actually being Sumika Kagami, then she wouldn't have been able to keep you chained to that world."

My eyes go wide for a brief moment, before a smile crosses over my face. Because… she's right. I look directly into her eyes and speak.

"Thank you, Yuuko-sensei. For proving her wrong."

Her hand shakes a bit, as she hesitantly lifts it. Deciding to go through with her plan, she places her hand on my shoulder. She then speaks.

"I'm glad to have been wrong in this case."

I nod, and she turns around and walks off with me right behind her. Suddenly, I realize that I don't know where we're going.

"So, um, Yuuko-sensei. Where are you taking me…?"

* * *

"I hate you. I hate you so much." I say, my face still beet red as the lift proceeds upwards. Yuuko-sensei, who still even now usually maintains her composure, seems like she's on the brink of laughing. And I hate it. I especially hate it when I hear the sound of her holding back her laughter in her voice, even going so far as to bring her free hand up to her mouth. It seems like she wants to do both, but the heavy bag in her other hand prohibits the action.

"Oh come on Shirogane, it wasn't that bad. You know I'm not interested in younger men."

"I'm just waiting for when we conduct this attack and my sex tape gets leaked to the press."

"I think we're all out of news outlets, Shirogane. And besides, I'm sure most people don't have VCR's."

"Very reassuring… Ugh, anyways… this broadcast, everyone will see it right?"

"And hear it." Yuuko-sensei confirms. She pats the case with her free hand. "This equipment will hijack every radio and television signal on the entire planet. Every screen and speaker with electricity and a connection to the outside world will hear your speech. And every computer will receive the data burst I send from the base computers containing every single file we have."

"So, no more secrets after this, certainly not about the Alternative Plans."

"Honestly, I'm not so sure about that part of the plan."

"Still like keeping secrets, Yuuko?"

"I admit it feels unnatural, but no… that's not what I'm referring to. Remember, the UN has a majority of the world's remaining military forces. If this speech of yours doesn't go over well and we don't get the rest of the world on our side, if we leaked this information for nothing, I'm not sure we'll be able to get them to come around."

"I'll take responsibility if that happens. But… I have to believe that humanity, when pushed to the edge like this, will come together if I just give them a little bit of hope. If not… then it doesn't matter anyways."

"I'm still shocked you want to do this so soon, especially without a prepared speech… Bold move, Shirogane. I have to admit I kind of like it." Suddenly she grins. "I'll try not to leak your sex tape as an aftershow."

I almost blow up at her, but then I grin and turn around.

"Maybe you want to stop talking about that, before I go down there and use that memory machine to conjure up some memories of the timeline when I had sex with you."

"Ha! That's a good one Shirogane, but that machine doesn't work with the imagination."

I merely chuckle and turn around.

"Sh-Shirogane?" Her composure fades. "You can't be serious…"

"Believe me Yuuko-sensei, I wish I could scrub that from my mind as much as you wish it wasn't there. I try not to think about it."

"Fine, I'll give up on this particular line of jokes Shirogane." She grins as I turn back towards her. "It's good to see you can be ruthless when the situation demands."

"Well someone's gotta keep you under control." I reply as the lift pulls to a stop at the very top of the shaft and we step off. "Now, let's get outside…"

* * *

"You want the camera here, Shirogane?" Yuuko-sensei asks. Pointing the camera down at the graves I'd spent the last several days digging.

"Yes. I want the graves to be what everyone sees first, so that they're reminded of everything that's been lost. I do want to give the speech on the spot, but I think that's an honest message to send. It puts them in the mindset for receiving what I'm about to say."

Yuuko steps away from the camera, and starts preparing the broadcast equipment. I move over to a place just out of the camera's view, so that she can pan up once we start. As she does this, she speaks.

"I hope you're sure about this on the spot thing. This could backfire pretty bad…"

"But if we want to get absolutely everyone on our side, it's the only way we can do it."

"Don't worry Shirogane, I don't care what I think. It's your show now. I think you've had enough of being ordered around by me. It's your turn to lead, and my turn to be mystified by your incredible genius."

I nod in acknowledgement as she finishes her setup and looks back at me.

"Now, you ready to get started?"

Again, I nod.

"Take as much time as you need, there's no way there's anyone out there that's smart enough to beat this thing. And so we are now… live." With the last word, she flips the switch on a small box and a red light blinks on. I wait patiently as Yuuko-sensei silently stands up, gets behind the camera, and pans it up to see my face. For a long moment, I'm unsure of what to say… but then, I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and look away from the camera to the graves. I channel my emotions of mourning, and turn them into words.

"I don't know the names of every single person in every single one of these graves, but I know their faces. Not just because I buried them, but because I knew them when this base was still part of the UN. When it was the home for the true defense of humanity, the Alternative plans. Of course… I'm sure you guys know about the most recent one, where many of your family members were selected and sent off on a giant ship to find a new home for humanity. That was the fifth Alternative plan. I'm betting they didn't tell you that, or about the other four Alternative plans, or about the depths of depravity and immorality they sunk to in order to attempt them…"

I swing my eyes back up to meet the camera.

"I get it, of course. I understand that during a war, especially one against an enemy like the BETA, that there are some things that need to be done that make it difficult to sleep at night. But personally… I think it's wrong to keep from everyone what you're doing when it isn't necessary. To keep all of these secrets when you're fighting an enemy that isn't human, not only from your citizens but from every other nation and organization on Earth. All because your leaders allowed the Earth to remain divided when they should've been working together. I always thought that if it really came down to it, humanity could put their differences aside in order to work towards a greater goal. Like for instance… our very survival.

"But that's not what happened, is it? Instead, humans still ended up fighting humans. Every nation fought on their own against the BETA instead of giving everything to the UN, so that every nation in the world could fight as one.

"And so… it's no wonder that the world was lost, that Alternative V became a necessity and we turned our own home into a wasteland. You don't see the BETA engaged in infighting and squabbling, do you? No, they fight as a single entity towards a single purpose. One Hive doesn't keep secrets from the other Hives. They share all of that information, and they coordinate to destroy us. And we let that happen, because we stood divided so often…

"So we shouldn't blame the BETA for these graves, for every grave. We should blame ourselves. I understand… that message might get you a little down, make you think we should hate ourselves that we let this happen. Make you think that we deserve to die, to be exterminated. But I don't. I take it as an example, an example that we can work from to become better. That's something the BETA can't do, become better. After all, they're just mindless machines, and they look at us as just an inconvenience. A pesky animal getting in the way.

"We need to prove to them that we're better than that. And if we're going to do that, then we are going to need to work together. All of the secrets left in the world, at least from the UN, are now yours. And so now, the option of what to do is up to you. Will you struggle and wait to die, fighting in little in-groups just to try and live a little bit longer while our home is destroyed and the remnants of humanity on this planet are exterminated? Or will you all come together and fight the BETA as one, for a chance not just to survive, but to reclaim your home?

"I won't lie to you. My plan is a long shot. Everybody who comes to fight with me will probably die. I'll probably die. But… we're all going to die anyways if things keep going like this. And if we keep going like this, we'll just prove ourselves the animals they think we are. After all, a wolf would never work together with a deer. But… we aren't wolves or deer, we're not Japanese, or American, or Chinese… At least, we aren't right now. Right now, we're all human beings, struggling to survive.

"And if we're all human beings, then we should struggle together, and if nothing else… we'll leave the BETA and whoever the hell created them with something to think about. Because even if we don't win, even if we all die and the BETA succeed in erasing every trace we ever existed from this planet, they'll still remember what we did when it came down to it. And that will be all the proof we need, to make them remember… that we were here. That we were alive.

"So please…! Make all the lives that have been lost, all the bodies we've buried mean something! So many have died, friends, family. We… I've been through so much, I've suffered so much, and I can't let the sacrifices of everyone I watched die or killed in desperation not mean anything! Meiya, 1st Lieutenant Hayase, Marimo, Isumi, Mikoto, Tama, Ayamine, Class Rep, Macen…! You don't know all of those names, but I'm sure you all have a list just like it, and just as long if not far longer. So now please, in your heart, do you want every person on that list to die unavenged?

"Or are you going to stand up and make goddamn sure that their lives weren't lost for nothing!? Because whether or not all of you are the human beings I think you are, whether or not you all come together and take this last stand with me… I'm going to make sure they meant something.

"So think through every name of that list of yours… as you find your way across every ocean and barrier that stands in the way between you and Yokohama Base in Japan, and fight alongside me to save this world!"

"And… cut." Yuuko-sensei says, looking up at me. As I regain awareness of the world around me, I realize I'm on my knees and I'm crying. I never even realized it… Yuuko speaks, and I look up to her as she does. "Shirogane… I just want to say, that even if this doesn't work… Even if we go unto the breach all alone… I think that this was the right decision."

I nod as I stand, and wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Did I convince even you, Yuuko-sensei?"

She grins.

"I guess we'll see, won't we?"

And with that, she packs up everything, and heads back inside to monitor for return transmissions.

* * *

The next few days are both eventful and not eventful at all. Transmissions roll in supporting the message I sent to the world and confirming that support is headed our way. It's difficult to determine who and how many, but that still left me both elated and relieved. It wasn't long before both of those emotions were supplanted by my increasing anxiety over the situation with Sumika. Preparations increase rapidly as I'm forced into helping move a lot of equipment from Yuuko's lab back to the upper floors where we're set up. So much so that when the first group of support arrives a week after the speech, a ship full of engineers and foot soldiers from the UN that had been far out at sea when the message came in, I'm almost completely distracted from them. Though... I do make a note to thank them when they go to the effort of cleaning up the hallways. I'm a little bit mystified by the salutes they give me, but I don't give it all that much attention.

Especially when the day I've been waiting for comes. The day where Yuuko-sensei has completed Sumika's body, including overlaying the human bits from my memories. She is covered with a blanket to protect her modesty as it lays on the purification bed which we moved right into the brain room, directly next to the container.

"Nervous, Shirogane?" Yuuko asks as she finishes inspecting the setup. Wires are set up, running from almost every single part of Sumika's body to a box (referred to by Yuuko-sensei as a 'transference device') where two more wires run into two very large needles currently resting on a tray next to the purification bed. According to her, the needles inject oxygen directly into the brain tissue and then record the resulting profile of brainwave response. This recording captures the entirety of the human consciousness, and that immense amount of data is transferred into Sumika's body through the wires, which work through electric shock.

"A little, if I'm being honest. Not about this procedure... I mean, you did it before. It's more about what comes after."

"You're nervous about the tuning process?"

"Yea... last time, I had Kasumi to help her along. This time… it's just me. I'm hoping it's even possible to do it alone."

"You may not have Kasumi, but you do have the benefit of already knowing everything you need to know. You've done this before, so you should be able to leverage your knowledge of that process to help things along. You may even be able to get it done faster."

"Yea, I guess you're right. I just hope I don't mess it up. But... I do have a plan, if that helps."

"You've been pretty on-point so far, Shirogane. And it's not just me who believes in you anymore, it's all the people upstairs who are counting on you."

"You mean that metaphorically or literally?" I wonder, sweeping my gaze over to look at her. She shrugs.

"Is there any reason it can't be both?" She asks.

"No, I guess not."

"Are you ready? There's no going back once I get started." Yuuko says. I don't even need to think about it, I nod. Yuuko-sensei walks forward, straps on some gloves, and depresses a button on the side of the capsule containing Sumika's brain. The glow slowly fades as all the liquid inside is sucked out of the container. Once that's done, the tubes encircling it retract, and finally the capsule is lifted to reveal the brain. As all this happens, Yuuko grabs the needles from the table, and as soon as the opportunity presents itself... she slides the needles carefully into either side of the brain. Not having time to check her work, she flips a switch on. The hum of the engine coming to life is subdued, but the electrostatic emissions that occur around the brain and the body are not.

Yuuko checks the monitor on the generator, and nods satisfactorily. She looks over to me as she stands.

"She's going to start shaking when the transfer starts. She's not actually feeling pain, but the body automatically responds to the stimuli because that's how it's programmed. Grab a pair of gloves and help me hold her still. They're rubber, so there's no worry about you getting shocked."

"Okay, got it..."

Putting on a pair of gloves, I walk over and gently hold down Sumika's arm.

"Shirogane, don't be worried about injuring her." Yuuko-sensei has a serious expression that indicates to me I absolutely need to listen to her instructions now. I pay close attention and follow her orders without question or hesitation. "If even a single one of those wires becomes displaced, she's dead. Place a hand on her shoulder and one on her upper leg, and grip down hard."

I feel a little uncomfortable, and like I might be hurting her, but the body doesn't respond at all. Yuuko seems poised as if it'll happen at any time however, so I make sure to do the same. Yuuko-sensei grins and looks up at me. She makes a joke in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Now, Shirogane, don't get too handsy there. You'll need to save that for later, okay?"

I suddenly become aware of how close my left hand is to her pelvis. But although I blush deeply, I don't give her the satisfaction of a response. Especially as Sumika begins to shake. It's just light shaking at first, but soon it's all the way up to a full blown seizure. I take a deep breath and keep my hands bolted down and steady. Yuuko-sensei's hands don't seem to move even an inch, and her face is back to a serious expression. When she looks up and speaks again, weight and gravity has returned to her voice.

"She's going to start screaming a little at the end. Don't worry, she's not actually in pain. It's just a physiological response."

As if on queue, Sumika starts to whimper. The familiar sound makes my heart race with excitement, but the pain of it also makes me want to hug her. I don't let it mess with my concentration. Just to make sure though, I grip even harder. But my anxiety grows as her whimpers escalate to moans, and than full blown screams as her body attempts to leap upwards from the table altogether.

"I'm not gonna let you down..." I whisper to myself. I have to stop myself from having tears build up in the edges of my eyes as the screaming grows more intense. I can't let that be the first thing she sees...

Luckily, I don't end up needing to encourage myself through it much longer, as the shaking and screaming both slowly but definitively come to a stop. As Yuuko releases her, I do the same. She crouches down in front of the machine and inspects it closely.

"Did it work?" I ask, a little worry creeping into my voice as she seems to kneel for a very long time and Sumika isn't waking up.

"Ah, sorry to worry you. It did, I was just making sure the brainwaves were being emulated properly or if I needed to make some adjustments. The data transfer is complete..." Yuuko says, standing up. She retrieves a bin from the ground nearby that's marked with the biological hazard symbol and walks over to where the brain is. "Shirogane, you want your face to be the first thing she sees right? Well look at her, not me. This is going to be messy anyways... I doubt you want to look."

"O-Okay, got it."

I refocus my eyes on Sumika's closed ones. For the first time, I notice her chest rising and falling with breathing. That instantly reassures me more than Yuuko-sensei's confirmation ever could, and I remove the gloves before slipping my hand underneath the blanket and grasping her hand. It's warm, and for the second time I have to fight back tears, even if they are ones of joy... This is going to be very difficult, I can see.

Just as I'm having that thought, her eyes snap open. They're lifeless and cold, and seem to look right through me. I expected this, but it still hurts. I take a deep breath and speak.

"Sumika... It's me, Takeru."

She doesn't speak.

"You don't have to talk. It's okay. I know it's probably hard for you to think, or really do anything right now. But, we'll work on that. We'll get through it together, even better than last time... I promise. Ha, you probably don't know what I mean by that..."

Suddenly, the unexpected happens. I feel her grip on my hand tighten a bit... It's almost imperceptible, but it is there.

"By the way, when you do get better, I don't want you to be afraid that I'm going to hate you or something. That was what happened before. I know what happened. I know how this world's Takeru died, and I know what the BETA did to you..." As I speak, her grip tightens. This time a helluva lot more. Her hand feels like a vice on mine, and she speaks.

"Takeru-chan... Takeru-chan... No! No, stop! Leave him alone!"

I grip back, fighting back the tears as I try and pull her from the memory.

"I won't hate you or think you're disgusting. You're neither one of those things. I swear."

"No...! No...! I hate them..."

"I know. I know... You hate the BETA."

"I'll kill them all!"

"I know. But Sumika, I need you to pay attention to me, just for a second..."

I bring my face closer to hers, and stare directly into her eyes. They still stare right through me.

"Takeru... -chan..."

"Yes, it's me. Now, I want you to read my mind. I want you to see my memories. So I can prove what I just said to you, and so you can see what happened with that other you... Please."

"Takeru-chan...!"

"No, not him. Pay attention to me, please! Pay attention to me! Sumika!"

Her eyes finally seem to gain focus, and they see me... it's just for a second, but they see me. And suddenly I start to feel some pressure in my head. It's unfamiliar, I've never felt it when having my mind read before... so that can't be it. I must just be stressed from trying not to cry. Pay attention Takeru, damn it!

I continue to speak.

"Sumika, I love you! Now please pay attention to me!"

The pain in my head grows and grows, and then suddenly it's too much to bear and I fall backwards, screaming as it feels like an enormous spike is being driven in. I grab my temples by both hands as my vision blurs.

"Shirogane!?" I hear Yuuko-sensei cry out from the other side of the room. She runs to my side and crouches down, but I can barely pay attention... I just keep screaming. And strangely, so does Sumika. But I lose attention of that as suddenly I start having something akin to the seizure Sumika was just having, and it feels like electric shocks are running through my body. Even as the back of my throat starts to go dry from all the screaming, and as Yuuko-sensei holds me down, the pain only grows and grows. I see Yuuko-sensei's mouth moves, but the words are blocked out my by screaming.

As the pain reaches it's peak however, and my vision blurs until I can't see anything, I black out completely and the pain fades. Suddenly, I hear a voice. It's familiar, but distant... and yet close at the same. It's quiet, but it's inside my head. As if I'm the one thinking it, but at the same time it's not my voice.

 _"Shirogane... I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It was essential that you did not know."_

I try to speak, but nothing comes from my mouth. A blurry image appears in front of me. A... young girl?

 _"Still, if you are seeing this message. I am happy. I am sorry for the suffering you are going through right now, but I'm sure you'll forgive me. I'm sure you'll never see this message however, so I'm not sure why I'm bothering... why I bothered with any of this..."_

That uniform, those things on her head... is it...?

 _"I just wanted to have some hope, that she could live. So as long a shot as this was, I'm glad I'm taking it. If you do ever hear this, please... take care of her Takeru. "_

It is her... It's...

Just as I'm about to resolve the image, it disappears, and my ability to sense anything fades with it.


	10. E12 - P4 - Shirogane Base

_**I want you to know, there's gonna be some heavy skimming in this chapter. In a fully fleshed out story, this entire chapter could be a complete story arc and episode of its own, but in this story it's just filler getting in the way of the good stuff. So I'm getting it out of the way as quickly as possible. I'll still be touching it up at a later point (probably once the overall story is done), this chapter is kind of messy (and rushed), IMO. I'm not sure how much better I can really make it while still giving it so little "screen time", but I hope it makes sense at least. My priority is first to finish the complete story, and I'll do any touching up I can later if I feel like it. So we'll be stuck with this version of this chapter for a while at least, sorry.  
**_

 _ **It's good to remember, in-case you mind this, that the story is meant to be a replacement for the ending of Muv Luv Alternative. So I'd also be remiss to drag it out, or to focus on characters which aren't important. This story is supposed to be about Shirogane and his character arc first and foremost, so the other characters have reduced importance. Otherwise, as I've said before, this story would be about 500k long. And I have my own stuff to work on.  
**_

 _ **Anyways, this story will have exactly 20 chapters, no more, no less. That means this is the halfway mark, yay! :D**_

* * *

 **MUV LUV ALTERNATIVE: REDEMPTION**

 **EPISODE 12: REDEMPTION**

 **PART IV: Shirogane Base**

* * *

 _ **First Draft**_

* * *

I groan as I regain consciousness. I try to open my eyes, but they're extremely heavy and everything is just a blur viewed through a tight squint. In that blur I spot… the same girl from before. Only, she seems much taller, and the color of her hair seems a bit off. I can feel myself lying on a bed, maybe she's just on-top of me or something…?

"Kas… umi…?" I wonder aloud. I can hear a reply, but it's so distant that I can't understand it. I try lifting my arms to rub my eyes, but they're useless and remain at my side unused. "Ugh…"

I lose consciousness again. When I wake back up the girl is gone, but otherwise the same experience from before repeats itself. I try to lift my arms in order to clear the blur from my eyes again. Harsh white light leaks through my eyelids, and I concentrate on that to stop myself from falling unconscious again. It's a struggle at first, they shake with the effort, but I manage it and bring two lightly clenched fists to my eyeballs. It's difficult, but I slowly wear the sleep out of my eyes and begin to blink. Everything around me comes into focus. The ceiling above me has the white paneling of a well-lit room in the base infirmary.

I groan again as my hearing also sharpens. Shortly after, I hear the beeping of a heart rate monitor coming from my left. The sound becomes clearer as I adjust the position of my head on my pillow to look at it. Only I don't only spot the heart rate monitor, or just the IV stretching out of my arm to a saline bad. I also spot the girl from before. Sleeping in one of the hard metal chairs against the wall. It's not Kasumi, but the girl's true identity is just as shocking. Tears build in my eyes as they fall on… 1st Lieutenant Hayase.

"H-Hayase…" My voice is little more than a low, dry croak that makes me realize I really need some water. Still, even that low dry croak is enough to rouse the girl. I grin as she yawns and looks over at me, but instead of her taking on a positive expression her gaze narrows. The glare isn't filled with hatred, but frustration. I try to speak again. "H-Hey… there…"

She stands up and walks over to my bed. She grabs a bottle of water from my bedside table, and starts to hand it to me. With some difficulty, I raise my hand to accept it. But she pulls away at the last moment.

"I'm going to give this to you… uh, Shirogane, was it?" She asks an unexpected question, one that only someone unfamiliar with me would ask. Though confused, I still nod an affirmative. "Once you drink it, you're going to answer some questions for me. Got it?"

I nod again, and she hands me the drink. I take it, holding it against my chest to alleviate the pressure of holding it up, and try to raise my hand to unscrew the cap. It's too difficult, and so Hayase reaches over and helps. I attempt to raise it to my mouth, but my hands shake uncontrollably and some of it splashes onto my chest. With a sigh, she reaches over and holds it steady to help it reach my mouth. I drink heartily. It's difficult, but I manage to hold it in without coughing. Though there's a little bit of sputtering as I remove it from my mouth. I feel quite a lot stronger still, and I'm able to screw back on the cap myself as I set it down on the bed next to me. I speak, my voice stronger as well if still a little dry, though it's counterbalanced by my confused stammering.

"Hayase… how are you here…? I thought…"

"Why are you talking to me like that? Like you know me? How do you know my name…?"

"You're acting a bit more serious… than usual…" I say, chuckling a little. Of course, that's when I realize it. My memory comes rushing back to me and I remember I'm not in the original world, the one where she died destroying the reactor… This is a different world entirely, and this is a different Mitsuki Hayase.

"Answer the question, would you? Why are you acting so familiar? And… when you were giving that speech, why did you name me? Even my old rank… You're talking like you know who I am, like we're friends… but… I've never met you before."

"O-Oh… sorry… I, uh… I confused you with someone else." I tell her, looking away from her face as I say it. She catches on, and as I swing my eyes back up I can she isn't amused.

"I know you're lying. You called out to me by name when you woke up. You know me, somehow…"

Knowing the jig is up, I get an idea and go for it. I place my fist over my chest, and salute weakly.

"Achieve your mission with all your might. Despair not till your last breath. Make your death count."

Hayase's eyes widen in shock at the words. She's taken aback as she speaks.

"How do you…? How do you know those words?"

"I was a member of Isumi's Valkyries, right alongside you."

"That's a lie…! They're all dead, I'm all that's left… And you were never there…"

"I wasn't a member in this world. I was a member in another one."

"In this world…? Another one…? What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's exactly as I said. I'm not from this world. I'm from another one, a lot like this one, but different… In that world, you sacrificed destroying this base's reactor during a BETA attack."

"You can't seriously expect me to believe…"

"So, everyone else is dead, huh…? I guess you and Suzumiya aren't competing for that guy anymore, right? And… and Munakata isn't around to tell me in this world, so… so that should be proof, right…?"

A long moment passes, and then suddenly Hayase bursts out laughing. It's a bit of a sad laughter, and there's hints of tears on the edges of her eyes as she looks down at me.

"So… that's why I was on your list, huh? I see. That's one crazy story, Shirogane."

"Yea, I guess it is. But… crazy doesn't mean it isn't true."

"That's certainly the case…" She closes her eyes, and becomes serious again as she continues. "Tell me, Shirogane, in this other world of yours… Did my sacrifice mean something? Did you make all those deaths count?"

I don't hesitate to answer.

"Yes. We won, we defeated the BETA. We saved the world, together…"

She smiles.

"Then, I'll happily make any sacrifices you ask of me, sir." Hayase replies, before standing stock still and giving me a determined salute.

"What are you…?" I begin to ask, but she just glares at me. Making it clear that I'm the one in charge. I'm a bit taken aback by this subtle declaration of servitude, but I decide to take it in stride. "Thank you, 1st Lieutenant. I'll gladly accept you service. And… I hope I can be as good a leader to you, as you were to me and the rest of Squad 207. At ease."

As she reassumes a more normal posture, she grins.

"Guess I got stuck into the mentor role, huh?"

"Yea… Yea you sure did…"

"That's fine. Sounds like I did pretty good. Anyways sir, whatever you need me for, you tell me."

"Can you tell Yuuko-sensei to come see me? I don't understand what happened…"

A look of pure, unadulterated hatred crosses Hayase's face. It's only for a second, as she suppresses it before nodding, saluting once more, and leaving the room. It only takes minutes before Yuuko-sensei enters the room, but I'm more concerned with who she's with. Sumika, whose curious expression morphs into a smile as she sees me.

"Hi there, Takeru-chan." She says.

"Sumika! How… are you…?" I wonder. Did someone else tune her…? How is she…?

"You can thank Kasumi, I believe." Yuuko-sensei says with a grin. She scratches her cin as she continues. "Or at least the other Kasumi. Clever girl…"

Sumika crosses her arms and pouts as it's clear she wants me to pay attention to her first. I bring my gaze over to her. It's definitely her, even if I don't know how.

"Why are you just standing there?" I ask weakly. "Get over here, you idiot…"

She smiles and runs over to jump onto the bed, embracing me tightly. It hurts a little, but I ignore it. Suddenly, tears begin to run from her eyes. I can feel them warm and hot against my chest as she sobs her next sentence.

"I hope you'll forgive me, Takeru-chan… I wasn't strong enough to keep everyone from dying… I tried, I tried so hard… But I wasn't as strong as you needed me to be…!"

A shock runs through me as I instantly recognize what she's talking about. This Sumika… she's… the one from the other world, the one who died… But I don't understand how. Until, I think about what I saw… Kasumi's message. Somehow she'd made this happen.

I hug Sumika as I reply.

"Hey, you did your best… you even sacrificed yourself, and because of all that we won… You don't have anything to be guilty about, and so you don't need my forgiveness. At least, not about this."

"Y-You mean, about not telling you what would happen?"

"Of course it's about that!" I shout without meaning too. I sigh. "Sorry."

"You aren't going to hit me…?"

"No, not this time… You were brave. I can't hate you for it, but… never do that again. No more lies, okay?"

She nods into my chest. She tries to lift her head and wipe off her tears.

"Sorry about… all this…" She says. I hug her head close to my chest again before she can pull away.

"Hey, don't stop if you're not actually done…" I tell her. "I depend on you all the time. Depend on me for once… Get it all out of your system, okay?"

"O-Okay…" She sobs, and then continues crying. I look up at Yuuko-sensei.

"How is this possible?" I ask.

"Turns out Kasumi actually pulled off something I didn't know was possible. The other one. She removed Kagami's entire consciousness from your 00-Unit, and put it in your head. She couldn't tell you because if you became aware of it, your mind would automatically fight it off and destroy it."

"She never even hinted at it…"

"Of course she didn't. She's incredible like that. Too bad she isn't _really_ my daughter. Then I could be proud of her in only the way a mother can!"

"But, how did this Sumika become that Sumika? Did it have something to do with her reading my mind?"

"That's exactly the case. The second the Sumika on the table found that consciousness in your head, she integrated all of the information she didn't have already into herself. The details are a bit too complicated for you, but you could say that the consciousness of this world's Sumika and the other Sumika merged into one."

"And I'm assuming all of this is why I fell unconscious."

"Of course. Once your brain was aware of that other consciousness in your head, it acted to destroy it. It's a traumatic process. Don't worry though, I imagine it hurt pretty bad but there's no permanent damage. You should be up on your feet in a day or two, none the worse for wear. Which is good. We need you for Operation Earth."

"We…?"

"Well me and the whole bunch of people you brought here. A couple thousand people in all, the last of humanity… As far as I can tell, every human being left on Earth is here now."

"How long was I out!?"

"A couple weeks. And everyone wants to see you Shirogane, you brought them all together after all. It's been a bit hard, having to get everything organized while you were out… I think they're about ready for you to take over. They don't like me very much. There's been a lot of infighting and it's making it hard to get things done. We've managed to get a lot of equipment stockpiled, and the Engineers are off doing their thing repairing all the broken stuff, but organizing teams or creating any kind of leadership structure has been chaos… All the guys in charge of their own groups want to be in charge, and the people from the UN act like they're the only one's qualified to be in charge…"

"Sounds like a mess, but how am I supposed to fix it? I'm no General or anything…"

"Did you not hear me? They all came here to follow you Shirogane. You're their leader now, whether you like it or not. It's time to step up. You inspired them, so they're your responsibility."

I bite my lip. Then I sigh, and nod.

"Well then, you two lovebirds have fun. Lots of fun…" Yuuko giggles suggestively as she toggles the lock on the door before exiting the room. I look down at Sumika, whose looking up at me, still teary-eyed but blushing furiously. Strangely, I find myself not doing the same at the idea.

"You know, it's really not something you should be embarrassed about… considering the state of our relationship and everything."

Sumika remains quiet for a long time before nodding.

"What, no 'you're an idiot Takeru-chan'?" I wonder with a grin.

"No, you're right…"

I drop my grin to a warm smile as I ask my next question.

"Are you okay? Feel better now?"

"Yes. Yes, I do… Thanks, Takeru-chan…"

"It's fine. I have… a lot to make up for, to say the least. I feel like I've done a lot, but…"

"No matter what guilt you're feeling, I'll always help you hold it. I'm sure all versions of me would agree…"

"Don't worry, I know. I'm sure of it in fact. I've been in a lot of different world's now, and I've seen a lot of memories of others, and in every one you're always there to support me. No matter what you're going through, and no matter who I love… that way. No matter what, you're always there to depend on. Without fail…"

"Of course I am Takeru-chan, that's just how much I love you." As she says that, she crawls up the bed and climbs under the blanket with me. She presses her head into my chest and presses up every part of her body against me. I'm completely enveloped in that warmth of hers, and I feel… an indescribable happiness. A feeling of limitless belonging that I know will never fade. Because… this is how it's supposed to be.

"I love you too…" I say, bringing my chin down into her soft red hair as I push as much back into her as I can. "Sumika, can we… can we just stay like this? Just for a while…"

"Yes, Takeru-chan… yes we can. I can tell you're still tired, so why don't you go back to sleep?"

"I'd like that… Thanks…"

I close my eyes, and bury myself in that moment until I fall asleep. All of my dreams are pleasant ones.

* * *

The next day, I'm able to stand with help or something to hold onto. Sumika decides to help me move around the hallways, after she helps me get dressed, as I decide it's time for me to get moving around. I need them all to see me after all, so they don't lose faith in me… But it turns out I never should've been worried. Every person I pass in the halls, of which there are hundreds, thousands… they all give me a salute. When I sit down in the mess hall to eat breakfast with Sumika, they all give me the space to eat with her alone. And when I finally enter the command room, every person in the room salutes me. Even Yuuko-sensei, albeit with a grin on her face.

"At ease…" I say. As I approach the command table, they lower their salutes but hold themselves in the way that denotes respect. There's a group of men and women around the table, some in disheveled clothing and others in UN military uniforms. And without exception, I can see from their gaze that they see me as their leader. Even… two familiar faces. "Commander Walken…? Your highness?"

Yuuhi offers a curtsey, while Walken offers a salute.

"That title died with our country, Shirogane-sama." Yuuhi says. "I am merely Yuuhi Koubuin, now. Just a name without any additional meaning."

"My title is gone as well… sir." Walken offers. His outfit is one of the more disheveled ones, not the outfit I would usually picture such a man in. His gruffness seems to have peeled away to be replaced with the weight of regret.

"I… I see. By the way, you'll forgive me if I don't salute in kind. I'm still… rather weak." I reply. It's very disconcerting to be addressed with words of respect from those who were both superior to me in the previous world. Looking over at Sumika, who is holding me up underneath my arm, she is looking down at the ground disinterested. About what I expected. My gaze is drawn up by someone speaking.

"Of course. It's good to see you up and about sir. It was… disconcerting to arrive to find you in a hospital bed." Another man says in an American accent, he's unfamiliar but I nod.

"I agree." A woman from the UN speaks up. "You can finally address the messy state of affairs we've been in. This… woman is not to be trusted."

I take a deep breath before speaking.

"Maybe before, but she's changed now. As many of us around this table have. She is my second-in-command, and you will treat her as such.

"Yes sir." Every single person around the table offers me a salute. The woman from the UN seems uncertain.

"Speak your mind."

"It's just… I know her. As far as secrets kept and the state of the world up till now, she was the status quo. She gave out orders that no one understood, wasting so many human lives. And then she deserted in disgrace and failure. I don't know how I can respect someone like that."

"I've made plenty of mistakes too." I say, looking down. "I expect most of the world has. If you need proof of that, all you need to do is look out of the window at the wasteland we created with the G-Bombs. But I made a decision to be better, and that brought us all here… together, unified. Because that's the only way we win. Old grudges are useless, we're all on the same side. It's time to put all of that behind us, and save our planet."

"Yes sir!" She gives a salute before turning to Yuuko and bowing. "I apologize for my behavior up to this point, mamn."

"No need for apologies. I don't hold it against you. I'm fully aware of my quite deserved reputation."

"I understand, mamn…"

"Does anyone else have anything to say?" I ask as the lady from the UN resumes a standing position. There is nothing in reply, so I nod and continue. I'd been thinking over what I would say when I came to this table all night, so I'm prepared as far as what our plans our. I just need to know more details about the state of the base. "Now, can someone tell me the state of the base? I can see the hallways are cleaned up."

"Luckily that's one of the things we never had any argument about." Yuuko offers. "First group cleaned it up without needing to be asked. This place is starting to look like a real military base again."

A man offers a salute before speaking.

"I've been directing our engineers sir. We haven't had an exact goal, so we've just been fixing up all the broken equipment we can find. We should have more than enough to go around when it comes down to it."

"Good to hear. I want to know something, how are we doing in terms of Aerospace resources? Last time, we did an orbital drop…"

"Um… last time, sir?" The man looks confused.

"Ah, you haven't told them, Yuuko-sensei?" I ask, glancing over at her. The others look bemused by my use of honorific, but say nothing.

"About how you came from a parallel universe? Nope." Yuuko confesses with a shrug. "They wouldn't believe me even if I told them."

"Excuse me, parallel universe?" The lady from the UN seemed confused.

"This world, this Earth, I'm not from here. In fact the version of me, the Takeru Shirogane of this world, who lived here is long dead. Both of them, actually."

"The records said so but… we were thinking they were incorrect. There were two other versions of you…? Sir, you must understand… this is ludicrous…"

I can see their respect for me dropping as their belief in my insanity increases. I sigh.

"I'm telling you the truth. Because I'm not going to keep secrets from you all for no reason. This fight is together, and that means there are no secrets. That's why I dispersed all of the data from the UN to you all."

"I can attest to the fact that Shirogane here is not insane. I would know, I actually am insane. My hallucinations are here right now in fact…" Yuuko replies. "Oh, that and where did you think I got the intel for Operation Earth from? No one's ever been so deep into Objective 1, and without Shirogane here we wouldn't know about the BETA superior or the BETA's purpose here on Earth…"

"Well, we were… assuming there was a reasonable explanation…" The lady says, taken aback.

"I know it all sounds weird, but this IS actually a reasonable explanation. Backed up by a bunch of science you don't understand." I say.

"Does it really matter?" Yuuhi asks. "This man brought humanity together. Even if he is insane, then maybe that is what humanity needed. This is more than any of us has managed in the past few years. And if it's any consolation, the look in his eyes… I can tell he is not lying. And isn't that very look what brought us all here to begin with?"

The table falls silent, and then nods. They offer a salute to me.

"If you have any questions about this, you can ask. I'm not going to keep anything from you." I tell them.

"No sir." The lady from before speaks, again reassured. "If you think it's important to this Operation, I'm sure you'll tell us."

The engineer from before speaks up.

"Sir, to answer your original question. We have no aerospace resources to speak of. All of that was used up in Alternative V."

"That's fine, I don't want an orbital drop anyways. Last time, we sacrificed way too much just to get me inside… I'm not sacrificing people like that. Not ever again. I brought it up because I want your focus to be on our land vehicles and TSF's."

"Of course sir, I'll make sure all our engineers are aware of their priorities."

"That includes withdrawing all effort from our naval technology." I say, scratching my chin, I continue. "In fact, if our ships have any weapons that can be converted into arms that can be used on the ground, that would be best. Kashgar is very far inland, the boats will be useless once we hit the shore. And no small arms either, put all your focus on TSF's and other land vehicles. Even if you have to jury rig arms that aren't meant for TSF's onto them, do it. Also, Yuuko-sensei is in charge of all of the engineers."

"Good, I'll need their help on finishing up the XG-60." Yuuko says. "It's almost done, but it'll take me months by myself, and just a few days with some backup… You, get five of your best engineers to the main shaft after this meeting. We're going down to my lab and finishing that thing."

"Yes mamn!" The man replies before stepping back.

"The XG-60 is the cornerstone of this Operation, correct?" Walken asks.

"Yes, I'll be the pilot along with Sumika here." I reply.

"The girl?" He wonders. "She doesn't seem like the fighting type."

"Sumika is also the 00-Unit, a quantum computer that will be necessary for negotiating with the BETA superior."

"I see, so she was telling the truth about your plan…" Walken says with a nod. Everyone around the table looks at Sumika strangely, she doesn't look up at them.

"She's a computer, a machine, yes…" I decide to say. "But she's also a human being, and if I catch anyone around here treating her like anything else…"

"If I may say sir, you seem unusually attached… Especially to someth- someone you just met." The UN lady says.

Sumika looks up before I have the chance to speak on her behalf.

"I was captured and tortured by the BETA when I still had a body. And he's attached because Takeru-chan loves me, and I love him…"

"O-Oh… I see, you knew her before… I apologize. I won't… bring it up again." The UN lady nervously bites her lip and steps back. I decide to avoid the topic as I continue.

"As far as TSF's, I want to make sure we have enough for every single person who is capable of piloting one on this base."

"And he means everyone who is capable, even slightly." Yuuko adds. I'm not sure I agree with that, but as the engineer speaks I listen curiously.

"That is the goal mamn." The engineer says. Looking over at me, I think he detects my hesitation. He says something which makes me give in to contesting the idea. "Many people who have only flown TSF's in simulations or training exercises are already signed up to pilot for the Operation. Everyone wants to fight sir."

"I see, then we should make sure everyone can. Organize some training exercises for all of our rookies. Even the ones who aren't flying TSF's and want to fight. Those you can put in the easier to control vehicles like tanks."

"Understood sir."

"By the way… for the plan I have on mind, we'll need to carry our extra supplies with us. I was thinking that the engineers could make some kind of mobile platform. If we place it in the middle of our formation, we can carry any supplies on it and reload as necessary. Remember, we're attacking completely over land, that means we'll need to press through a whole lot of enemy forces. We'll bring everything we have to bare and assemble in a diamond formation around this platform I'm suggesting…"

"It shouldn't be too difficult to make something like that sir. No worries."

"So your plan is charge right in, Shirogane?" Yuuko asks.

"Yes, we're going to enter the Hive as a team. Fighting together."

"That can work, but considering how long the fighting is going to take, the XG-60 is going to run out of fuel before reaching the main chamber."

"I can just refuel on the move. The XG-60 doesn't have any ammunition limit as long as the fuel doesn't run out, right? So there shouldn't be a problem." I reply.

"The XG-60 requires specialized equipment to refuel, thanks to the MLE."

"Then we'll need to have the XG-60 and a squadron of TSF's rest on the platform while we make our way into the Hive." Walken says. "Once we get deep enough, the XG-60 and the squad will go the rest of the way on their own. The rest will resupply and catch up at a later point."

"So you just want me to sit there while everyone dies around me…?" I wonder.

"If you can save the planet, yes. If you die fighting on the frontlines on the way in, then it'll all be pointless. Besides, with that new operating system we got from her, we should do a lot better than you seem to expect."

"Besides Shirogane, you know what'll happen if you die…" Yuuko says. I understand her meaning, and nod. I don't like the plan, but at least everyone will be fighting together, and everyone will have a fighting chance to live… No one has to sacrifice themselves like in the orbital drop plan.

"I understand." I say. "But why the squadron resting with me?"

"Because you need elite fighters to help you out the rest of the way. The best of the best." Walken says. "They need to be fresh from combat, and they need to be completely fueled up and weaponized when you head out. They also need to be coordinated with you, hopefully through training sessions you run with them until the operation, and so we can't risk any of them getting themselves killed trying to help out."

"Alright…"

"I'll get records sent to you Shirogane." Yuuko says. "That way you can handpick your team. One exception though, I'm going. It's time for me to stop sitting in the back and letting other people fight to fix my mistakes."

"Yuuko-sensei, are you sure…?"

"Yes, one-hundred percent. I've been training in TSF's for years to prepare for this. Besides, the XG-60 is very powerful, and with your piloting skills and the XM3 it should be a piece of cake. You could take on a hundred thousand BETA singlehandedly in that thing. Probably."

"Alright… no need for the records though, I know exactly who else is coming with. Walken, Yuuhi, and this world's Hayase. Assuming you're all okay with that, of course."

"I will do whatever you ask." Yuuhi says with another bow.

"Yes sir!" Walken confirms his loyalty.

"Interesting lineup, Shirogane." Yuuko says with a grin.

"It's the right one. I'm sure everyone in that lineup is capable. Yuuhi has been training in TSF's all her life, I know that from the other world. I also know that Walken is a great pilot, and considering Hayase is the last of the Valkyries… there's no one else I'd rather fight beside. But more than any of that, when the world looks back on this moment, they need to see that we fought together. That we set aside our differences when it came down to it. No matter the relationships between dead nations."

"I see. Sounds like you thought this through then Shirogane, you have my support."

"You know, Yuuko… there is one person I'm curious about the record of. Assuming he's even still around and is capable of piloting a TSF…" I say, thinking back.

"Who is it?"

"Takahashi Ichimonji."

One of the officers working at the nearby computers chimes in.

"Sir, that man is not an incredibly experienced TSF pilot but he is on the list of applicants for pilots."

"He'll be on my squad too. Just… trust me on this one."

"Understood." Walken says.

"Now, let's go over this whole plan in detail…" I say, and we start using the map and planning formation. The less experienced pilots are towards the center protecting the platform directly while the best and most experienced are on the outskirts. We'll maintain the diamond formation as we make our way down to the core. Around halfway into the Operation, my squadron will break off and make the rest of the way on our own. We'll carry out the original Operation Cherry Blossom plan until we reach the compartment that separates the drift from the core. Not only will we lock the door behind us, but… "Sumika and I will disembark the XG-60 at this point, and we will proceed into the core chamber unarmed to negotiate with the BETA Superior."

"Sir… are you… are you sure?" The UN lady, taken aback as always, offers complaint.

"Yes, I am certain. The last time, negotiations were going pretty well before I was interrupted. And that was when I was upset and unprepared. If Sumika and I can get inside, she can connect with the Superior and if we are unarmed, I highly doubt it will attack. I'm pretty sure it doesn't completely understand the situation. If I present no threat, then I think I might be able to negotiate a ceasefire during the talks. If I can do that, I'll have a lot more time to negotiate with the Superior. If I bring in weapons or if anyone interrupts… then my chances of a successful negotiation go down."

"Well, you are the only one whose been down there, and you're in charge… if you think this risk is worth it, then I'm behind you." Walken says.

"Thank you. With that, I would say that the plan is complete. Any more questions?" I ask as the now lengthy meeting finally seems to be reaching its conclusion. No one has any questions. I look over to Walken. "Walken, I'm putting you in charge of organizing our troops until the Operation. You're probably the most experienced at it out of all of us."

"Sir." He salutes. I look over to Yuuhi now.

"Um, Yuuhi, Could I talk to you in private? There's um… something personal I want to talk to you about. And Yuuko-sensei, there's something I need from you too…"

"Of course, Shirogane-sama." Yuuhi offers a bow in confirmation. Yuuko nods.

"Well, then, everyone's dismissed. We'll discuss this in Yuuko-sensei's office."

There's several salutes as the meeting disperses and we all head out. Sumika continues to help me move, as well move to Yuuko's office. And after that meeting, Sumika and I retire to my quarters. I'm so exhausted we don't even talk before going directly to sleep. There's only one thought on my mind as I sleep… A hope that I made all the right decisions.


End file.
